Wednesday, June 17, 2009

sigh. a mommy's wits end

I am feeling in a mommy frump as of late.

I am feeling more like a tired, rumpled, round mess of a mommy to two, soon to be three, then the sex siren I usually am. Actually rarely do I ever feel like a sex siren but you get my point.

Flyboy is becoming some sexy, studly even sexier, studlier running machine, and I'm kinda just feeling like I'm floundering. And this isn't even all about getting bigger, I am well aware that I am bringing new life into the world, lets just see him do that on a 12 mile run, I'm just sort of feeling "mommy overwhelmed".

Ohh I shall use this chance to slap up my honest mommy button!

All right so here is it, I'm feeling lost again. Sometimes as a mom you fall into the "mommy rut". Life begins to revolve solely around your kids. And then one day in the shower you realize that you lost yourself in the orbit somewhere.

As of late my hobbies include trying to entice a 2 year old to sit on the potty with lollipops, cleaning up pee from around the toilet from the other child, changing diapers, pushing swings, grocery shopping, and making dinner (their quality can be debated).

I used to be a really crafty person but now I don't even know where to start back up. I know I know just jump back in but really where to start? And when is there time? Truly time to sit down uninterrupted. That's the nice thing about blogging, easy to pick up and put down and very easy to do in bed at night in your jammies.

I just don't know what to do with myself bloggy peeps.

Now, the giant disclaimer to put out there, I love my life. I love it a lot. I love being a mom. I really love being a stay at home mom. I don't want my kids in day care, I like being with them and rolling with my posse.

But. I feeling a little burnt out.

I feel like a frump. A burnt out frump.

Case in point of my frump hood. And I'm not using this example to pick on flyboy, but its just sitting in my mind and has been for a day or two.

I joined 20something bloggers because a fantastic blogger -Sarah= ) started a military wives group on there. I signed up to show my support because well, I am a 20 something (I may not have half a decade left in my 20's but i do have some time) and I am a military wife.

The page was still up on the laptop and flyboy picked up the computer to look for something and said "20something bloggers!" and laughed.

After being together for as long as we have, I got why he was laughing. I'm sure he wasn't trying to push my fragile state over the deep end but well, I'm hormonal. It doesn't take much. I am a 20something, but I don't really feel like it.

I don't wear the latest fashions from Banana Republic. In fact, flyboy really likes that store but I feel like when I walk thru the doors they know I don't belong. They can smell the impostor on me. They know I'm wearing a two year old shirt from old navy.

Really, should Banana Republic cause a panic attack for someone?

No I think not. I pride myself that I don't really care to "keep up with the Jones' " but yet, here I am nervous to walk thru the door of a certain store because I feel to frumpy.

I want to be that hot mom at the park (or target, or nursery school or where ever else I see her)who just breezes thru the day looking fab-u-lous (and appearing to feel fab-u-lous about herself). I just want to feel like that for a day or two and then I'll go back to bribing the 2 year old to pee and splashing around in the 4 year old's pee on the floor.

HORMONAL PEOPLE, CLEARLY I AM HORMONAL.

Oh and to flyboy's defense I did meet a friend for dinner last week and I do have a hair appointment tonight after dinner. He is a wonderful husband. Who is just sometimes an idiot.

I just need to snap myself out of this. After all I think I stopped making any sense at all after about the fourth sentence.



17 comments:

  1. everyone feels that way at one point or another.i just got myself out of that "world revovles around kids" phase. I mean obviously it still does, but i manage to squeeze in some me time too. a happy mommy makes for happy kids.dont try to just snap out of it. allow yourself to feel what your feeling and it will pass when you are ready. i love the line about flyboy birthing a child on his 12 mile run! LOL> awesome. Im on the same (cleaning up pee) boat as you.the daily grind of a SAHM is just that....a grind. hopefully no one thinks that just cuz your going through a rough spot right now, that you dont love your life. sheesh. im soon to be 27(in dec) and i get what u mean about feeling older then u are. I often feel like 1 should really be 40!!! Embrace it chick! you are great and will come out of this rut feeling refreshed and with a new outlook on life!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I felt like this after having my son, it was like an identity crisis (I'm getting over it though). Being a Mom is so much harder than people give us credit for, and it can turn into a mundane routine at times. I'm glad you have that hair appointment, and that you got out to eat dinner with a friend for a bit. All of those things help so much.

    By the way you walk into that Banana Republic store with those semi-snobby sales clerks and buy yourself a cute outfit so you and Flyboy can go on a hot date! I look like hell warmed over when I walk into those stores, but I honestly don't care anymore because I have the right to look cute, even if I my child will end up getting something on me. hahaha.

    Thanks for voicing what most of us Mom's are feeling. =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i know the feeling and I only have one little one running around. I was actually just about to make a post on my blog about needing an hour...away from Mr. and Little Miss to find me again. While yes, part of it is hormones, you have EVERY right to feel the way you do! And I am too intemidated by certain stores that I should have no probelm browsing though. I hope you get some time to rest your head and gather your thoughts! Being a SAHM is by far the hardest job in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have my complete sympathy. It is so hard to get away sometimes and I can't imagine the pee battle on top of that.

    Go get your hair did and remember you're fabulous whenever you go anywhere. You don't have to SHOW you're fabulous to BE fabulous.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't relate to having kids, but I do keep kids all day so I know how you feel in a sense. You shouldn't feel intimadated by going into those stores. I don't go into them because everyone I see in those kinda stores are way to happy and giggly for me. Call me the grinch, but I can't handle it. I am 20 and I feel as if I should be in a nursing home already.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Uh - negative, Ghost Writer. You didn't stop making sense. I totally get it! I'm not a mom and I have SO much respsect for you beign able to do "life" 24/7 like that.

    Men say dumb things. I think someone would be broken if they didn't, but they do... I wish I could help you out and get you some you-time so you can feel fabulous!!

    Someday you'll be the one telling me that it'll all pass... some day when I'm cleanign up pee and struggling to at least get 13 seconds to myself in the shower before my dashes come waltzing in uninvited... but for now, all I can do is say I'm sorry and I hope you get your "you" time soon!!

    If you ask me, I think you MORE than deserve it...

    ReplyDelete
  7. and PS: Psshh... YOU'RE a fantastic blogger!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Aw, your a great blogger! And you're not alone in the 20something blogger realm that doesn't have a whole decade left in the 20's either. Ekkk

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't have kids yet, but I am an aunt to five nieces and nephews and I have been a daycare teacher...So I could definitely see where this happens to a lot of moms! I think it is so important to find "you" time and girl, go treat yourself to a sassy new dress or anything that makes you feel good about yourself...Every mom deserves to feel FABULOUS:)Sounds like you just really need a pamper me break!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am not a mother myself, but I have heard the exact same thing coming from every one of my friends that is.

    I love the honesty that I hear in your blogging.

    Those lovely remarks are taugh to all at the Secret Boy School. No matter how great they are, they have all attended and can't seem to help themselves!

    ReplyDelete
  11. a husband sometimes being an idiot?? but i don't understand??

    (note huge sarcasm)


    ohhhh hun! you can change from super frump to super hot.... tell flyboy to treat you to a full day at the spa --- you deserve it! ORRR i always suggest a day of shopping once for a fab post-preggo wardrobe!

    just remember everything can be changed in a heartbeat. Allison is right! you don't have to show it to be it. and young mom/wife is right too! Banana Republic is ALWAYSSSSS therapy for me!!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. After you have the baby i'll come there we can get panera again and go to Banana Rebublic in our 2nd season old navy and jcpenny clothes and buy you a cute outfit that you will wear for 4 seasons LOL. BTW I think your a hot mom LOL

    ReplyDelete
  13. your post made perfect sense. that mommy rut can be a hard one to climb out of sometimes. hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  14. hate to break it to you friend, but you didn't stop making sense at the fourth sentence....it just got better. and truer. if that's a word.

    the only good news about the mommy rut, is just that, it's a rut. so until it even's back out - wallow and eat ice cream. that's what i do :)

    ps - i know exactly what you mean about banana republic!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh you poor sweet thing! From one mommy to another, Hang in There!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I keep telling Greg that the reason I'm exhausted all the time is because I'm staying up ridiculously late trying to find time to do something I enjoy, and then the Captain kicks my ass by waking up at some random hour of the night. So I also feel your pain, and I've only got one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I never think you are frumpy. Pregnant or not. You always look cute and very reserved and you are always beautiful! I wouldn't just say that. You know how I work.
    I think its in the air though. I know how you feel. I have been down in the dumps about me as well lately. We need a pick me up. :)

    ReplyDelete

I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.