Friday, June 12, 2009

A long one about the crazy lady at the lab

I was going to post a mommy post but I keep starting it and stopping it in my head and now I can't seem to remember what the gist of it was. Sigh. Hopefully it will come back to me.

Although something else will take its place no doubt, just give it a day or two.

So in the mean time, I have a different sort of post. I had my 28 wk apt today complete with a super duper fun trip to the lab for my 1 hour glucose test. What makes the one hour lab test so much fun you ask?

Doing it with a 2 year old and a 4 year old in tow. Fun with a capital F!

The appointment went well I suppose, I'm always nervous about getting weighted in, but then again my doctor is probably weighing in at 350 so she can bite me if she has something to say about my weight gain.

Yeah I'm getting bitchy over here. Their scale weighs heavier then my scale and its pissing me off.

But on to the lab. All in all it was without a hitch. Really, I'm not going to lie, I was a tad nervous of having to sit around in the tiny waiting room with the kids in tow. I tend to view my kids as my posse, they go everywhere with me, few places am I nervous about taking them but still a lot can happen when your waiting for over an hour with kids in a small windowless room.

With other people.

But I brought some snacks, some books, some coloring stuff, we were well supplied.

But about the other people.

There was a woman there with her son, who she later told me was 19 months, and this lady was, well, interesting. I'm all for talking to other people, really, I may not seem like it, my husband tells me I can be stand off ish, but I'm really a very nice person.


And there is always a but isnt there?

I don't need to talk to people. I'm content to be in my own world.

This lady kept talking to me and that's fine, so I noticed she had a woodland (think the darker cammies) "rain jacket" (I put it in quotes cause I don't know what the hell it's really called, it's the jacket they were over their cammies when its raining or a little chilly out) slung over her stroller.

I asked her if her husband was stationed at the Marine base (remember we go to an Army hospital), I was just trying to make conversation since it was obvious I wasn't going to get to stay in my quiet little world while my kids played nicely by themselves.

Holy crap I opened the mother load.

She told me that yes her husband was stationed up there but it was her jacket that she was also a Marine (or as I shall refer to her from here on out WM for woman marine, I know you think I'm creative but that's what their called).

Now this puzzles me, granted it was dreary, drizzly, and kinda chilly out this morning but she's wearing a neon green tube dress. I'm not a hundred percent sure of uniform protocol but I'm pretty sure that jacket isn't one that you just wear out with anything. Lest of all neon green tube dresses.

I figured out that neither her nor her husband are in squadron (whew thank goodness, I'm relieved to know I will not be running into her at a squadron bbq should we ever go to one). Of course I assessed this info in a rather uncomfortable way. By her BLASTING her command.

Really, it was awkward. She was just spewing forth from the mouth about how she hated the housing, how she hated the command, how the other Marines up here were sloppy and lazy, how she hated the reservist, how she hated the hospital.

Which side note here, I might not always be thrilled with the hospital but I don't believe you should sit in a waiting room speaking about how everyone who works there is a moron when these people are going to be taking a needle to your vein in a few minutes. But that's just me.

And all the while people are coming and going in the lab, and remember it's a top heavy base, 4 colonels must have come in and overheard her talking and giving a very fine impression of not just our base, but of Marines in general.

What idiot talks like that on a base? Even if it's not YOUR base, any base? You never, ever, know who is going to walk in or over hear you.

I would have loved to have gotten up on my chair and sang the Marine Corps hymn , yelled about how hard my husband works, pointed out that unlike her pencil pushing husband (no offense to pencil pushers around the military but really she was pissing me off) my husband racked up miles in the sky, flying hours that push his body to exhaustion.

And when she asked me snidely if my husband has ever deployed I wanted to fashion a shank out of dash-1 modeling clay and stab her in the eye. Yes he's deployed and even when he isn't deployed he's still never here. Bitch.

But well, not to seem like a wimp, I didn't want to get into it with her cause well, she seemed a might bit unstable. And I like seeming like I'm stable to other people.

Thankfully she left soon after that and I could go back to my peace and quiet. Shockingly enough someone who came in for his blood drawn actually said how well behaved my kids were, how nicely they were sitting while I read to them.

I hope they didn't see us later in the commissary their opinion would have been different!

As I left the hospital, I will admit, I called my husband and just asked him one question, where do you all find these people?

And now I'm blogging about this and putting it out there so even more people think the Marine Corps is filled with crazy people.

Trust me folks, I have it on good authority that it indeed is not.

oh and congrats to all who made it thru the whole long winded post. Now you just have to leave a comment so I know how many of you made it to the end. It's a badge of honor I tell ya.


  1. YIKES. That lady sounds like a piece of work. I am so sorry and embarrassed for you that you had to sit there in the waiting room forever. Geeze louise. Can you fathom her poor husband? Although, he is probably just as whacko as she is....

  2. What a psycho!! I can't beleive that 1 - she was wearing tha tjacket with her neon green tube dress, and 2 - that she would rant abotu how awful it is while she herSELF is in the military!!

    That's just D-U-M-B!!!

  3. Oh yeah - and in response to your comment on my page... I just sit here thinking, now, about all of the remarks I could've/should've? had for that woman. She pissed me off to NO end. I still cannot believe she was that rude. Who is SHE to be dishing out that crap? You work at HAIR cuttery, lady... the the friggin white house. Mind-ya-bidnez!

    UGH!! I hope I don't run into her again. I will NOT be going back there, that's for sure! A simpel no would've ben JUST fine. And I would've smiled and said "OKay. No problem." Why are people si riDONKulous?!

  4. Your self-control amazes me. I'd have gone for it -- no jury in the land would have convicted a pregnant woman whose husband deploys as much as yours does. All they'd have to do is get the WM on the stand (assuming she survived the modeling clay attack) to prove your point.

  5. Gee, that sounds just like what goes on at the bus stop here every single day. (and 2 of those parents are active duty military as well)

    I sooo badly just want to say "well, you know if you hate it SO much in the military- why don't you just GET OUT! Nobody drafted you. We don't want you here with your poor attitude anyway!"

    But then, I'm like you and content to be in my own world, so I try to mind my own (silent) business.

    PS- A neon green tube dress? Really?! Is it 1983? Did I miss the time warp?

  6. oh my gosh, that's so crazy!

  7. I wish there had been a way for you to secretly taken a picture of her dress. I'm glad she finally left so you could have some peace.

  8. Wow! You have crazy's like that in all the branches, it just sucks when they decide to talk to you! I don't understand why those people stay in if they hate it so much. At least you made it out of there alive, AND were complimented on your kids. =)

    Have a nice weekend with flyboy and your boys.

  9. Oh man! What a piece of work. That's really all I can say. I am impressed that, even with your pregnancy hormones raging, you managed to stay calm and not say anything. I don't know that I would have had that much self control... pregnant or not!

  10. hahahahha. dont feel bad. we have some crazies in the Army too! LOL. Dont you hate hate hate when people are biting the hand that feeds them? shoot, if the hospital sucks so bad, she could go to a civilian or heck, pay for he rown damn health insurance! ugh. people aggrivate me! I love when you said you like to appear stable to other people! HA!!!! great stuff! Great post!

  11. Wow...just...Wow, yeah, it's hard enough for the good ones to advance/get promoted without the likes of her clogging up the ranks!!! Glad you were able to keep it together, myself - I don't know if I could have! And congrats on your Dr appt w/kids in tow. My best to date has got to be the pap smear I had with 2 toddlers in the room, LOL! The things we do... And Katie, I'm like you in wanting the my husband's last homecoming there was this woman in front of me wearing a mini that barely covered her business and hot pink spike heels and the price tag still on the bottom - I had to take a picture for laughs, my mother in law had never seen anything like it, LOL (that girl had nuthin' on me in my flip flops and sweat shorts, hahaha!) My husband would think I had lost my mind if I dressed like that.

  12. Wow. How nuts. I've always felt the same - that if you are there to receive a service from someone, you probably don't want to criticize said service in their presence. Like, isn't it just asking for some server to spit in your food?

    Sounds like that woman had something to prove, and you just happened to fall in her crosshairs. Hopefully next time she accidentally mouths off in front of the wrong person and gets cut down a bit.

  13. Crazy people in this world. Why would she down the Military in general. Ah crazy folks. I feel sorry for her husband. I wonder how he feels about his job? Makes you wonder.

  14. Don't you wish some people would just walk around with crazy written across their forehead? What a way to be an example for yourself. Bleh. People.

  15. lol, geeeez. You shoulda told her to put a cork in it. Or had your kids do it for her and say it was an accident.

  16. It was the shank modeled out of clay that did it for me! Couldn't stop reading after a line like that. I do hate those kind of people too. I was on the OSC bowling league one year and a former friend (who was loud and opinionated normally) wouldn't stop cursing and complaining about how the Army was screwing her husband over because of some weird reason, all the while she was bowling next to the CG's wife! One of the retired lady's had to go tell her to keep it down as she was being disrespectful!

  17. What a crazy creeper!!!!! I bet the husband is a nut as well if not crazier!

  18. There are tons of those in the Army too, probably in every branch!

    Sorry you had to deal with it, but glad you were able to refrain from strangling her or poking her eyes out!

    And I am with DAR, usually their husbands are just as wacky...

  19. I'll wait for my badge in the mail...

    You are seriously one funny lady. I love it when someone can take what is an unbelieveably awkward moment and squeeze some humor from it! :D

    And good for you making your kids your posse! My posse is abandoning me for college, but... whatever... :D

  20. Well, one big motivated "oorah" to you my friend for putting up with that! You're much stronger than I. Speaking of out of the norm garments; while my hubs and I were on leave, I went down to the UofOregon campus to visit a friend and she was having an end of the year formal event with her sorority house and the guys' fraternity house. One individual showed up in blue jeans (wayyy too tight I might add), black converse, and a Dress Blue Bravo jacket.


    Mind you...this is a *Christian* sorority/fraternity house organization...and even though I proudly follow Christ--I was mad. Real mad.

    I'd never met the guy before in my life...never seen girlfriend knew I was mad and was about to say something about it too.

    I walk thru the crowd, at this point I've got daggers for eyes...and I walk up to him, (in front of about 10 or 12 of his friends) and ask him a simple, "what the hell are you wearing" *stares blankly at me* "are you a Marine?!?" *no* "so what the F$&% do you think you're doing wearing that" *Is it wrong?* (at this point I get about 3 inches from his face and whip out the famous 'knife hand') "Hell yeah it's wrong! You're pond scum compared to a United States Marine and have no right to wear that uniform. My husband earned the right to wear it. So TAKE IT OFF" *another blank stare* *room of about a 150 people is completely silent* *takes jacket off*

    I grab it at this point, go upstairs, get a hanger and fasten the top clasp and every button. I walk back over to him (room still silent and I'm getting stared at by every person in there)--hand him the hanger and tell him that for the rest of the evening he is to hold this. Not even coming close to letting it touch another individual or especially the ground. I told him that I would be watching him for the rest of the night and at the end of the night the uniform would be inspected...if there was a single stain, blemish, or if any of the buttons had been unbuttoned--he'd be sorry.

    He carried it around (and looked scared shitless), and at the end of the night I explained to him that if he wanted to wear the uniform there's a 3 month waiting list with blood, sweat, and tears required along the way.

    And then I told him to have a great evening...

    ...and I left!

    I'd like to think I'll be remembered for a few years :)
    Semper Fi!

  21. She sounds like a freakin nut case.

    I must ask. Did she have stringy hair? She sounds like the type that would be trashy. With stringy hair and such.

    Oh. I'm shallow.

  22. I had a lady like that when I was waiting at L&D once. I have to agree with you...I would rather keep to myself but a little polite conversation is alright. However for some reason people just go a little to far with those the point of akwardness.

  23. Here's my badge of honor!

    The only thing I could think of about "Fun with a capital F" was the F-word! So thanks for giving me a giggle, cause later in the post I imagined you shouting at this WM (in true Marine style) "Shut the F up!"


    Hope your test turned out alright, and kudos to you for the compliment on the kids' behavior in the waiting room. I think you imagine everything, and they're actually great little guys. :)

  24. What a psycho! She sounds pretty trashy. I know you shouldn't judge people by their appearance...but that's how I roll

  25. That is a little scary. I have been told that I must look like a very sympathetic person, because random people will comeup to me and tell me the craziest things. Sometimes that is a little scary.

    I am sorry you had to sit there and listen to her complain. Maybe she was having a bad day??

  26. I'm glad the boys were good for you. Wish I could have been there to take them bowling while you waited. Totally would of if I didnt have the change of command.

    Anyway Thats so funny that happened the day after our converstation at dinner. Perfect timing.

    I dont get why people bash the military. Yes it sux sometimes but its no worse then any other job if you can get another job. People should be thankful they have a job and a paycheck which they know they will get twice a month. And besides the usual waiting which happens at any doctors office I like the hospital down there and i miss it. Where else can you get your medicine for free. USFHP doesn't cover it for free. Yes I have awesome coverage and great doctors but no free antibotics when my kids are sick. Although the $3 copay still isnt bad.

    People need to realize how lucky they are and should stop being selffish and start being thankful and proud of their husband, and the military no matter what branch

  27. Well this time I'm certain I will NEVER be THAT wife. Hehe :]]

    Often times I find myself wondering- HOW ON EARTH can someone talk like that / act like that, and I've realized that there must be a mental block genetically passed down to some people. My step brother in law and his wife are two of those very same people. It's like, reality isn't the same for them. Normal feelings for us, like, say, discomfort, and hunches, are someone on a different frequency that they don't pick up.

    Maybe it's a form of autism. That every rude and belligerent and ignorant person has.

    Maybe it's brain damage. Are that many mothers dropping kids on their heads? I guess anything is possible.

  28. and by someone, i did mean somehow on a different frequency.


  29. I would have totally bailed you out of jail if you stabbed her with the play-do shank. Who wears a neon green tube dress? Ugh.

    We have people in Germany that wear their cold weather gear with civilian clothes. It's just dumb. I put it on the same level as wearing your letter jacket after high school. Buy a new damn jacket.

  30. It's one thing to vent in private, it is quite another to do so in public, on base, with strangers.

  31. ok fitst of all I LOVE reading your always makes my day!

    and holy cow that lady needs a wake up call. how does her husband deal with that looney toon?!? and i would have cried seeing her in a neon green tube dress. anyways...hope you have a good day!!

  32. Good gracious! She definitely sounds unstable. Not a bright idea to shoot off like that when some of those overhearing are in charge of the needles. Wonder if her arm ended up black & blue. LOL Hope your glucose results come back a-ok. I know I was bored sitting around waiting on mine and can only begin to imagine the challenges of keeping the boys quiet & calm as well.

  33. totally agree with you....but I had to laugh at this:

    You said: What idiot talks like that on a base? Even if it's not YOUR base, any base? You never, ever, know who is going to walk in or over hear you.

    My question to you is this: what idiot calls his commander a pompous a$$ on a command climate survey and thinks he can get away with it? What idiot has the unmitigated gall to call out the First Sergeant who has THREE bronze stars from Iraq and say that he suffers from PTSD and is off his meds? WHO? Ah, yes, the ungrateful soldiers in my husband's command, that's who. One went so far as to say my hubby isn't officer material. REALLY? Because the Army thought so, so shut your piehole.

    Don't you wish you could have said that to Ms. Neon Green Cammie Rain coat wearin' loudmouth?

    **word verification: curbit - as in, what you say to Ms. Neon green tube top about her tongue!

  34. HAHAH, I made it to the end. You always have a way with words and stories -- I can't help but read to the very end!

    What a crazy freaking lady.

  35. Oh wow! I probably would have faked labor to get away from her.


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