Saturday, May 31, 2008

Am I just REALLY old fashioned?

I ran out to the mall last night to get a head start on picking out just the right Father's Day cards. I'm a card nut, I will spend easily an hour in Hallmark looking for three cards, so I thought it best to leave the boys at home, asleep in their beds with flyboy keeping watch. Now as a bit of a disclaimer, I haven't been in a mall after 4pm in a LONG time but I noticed something odd. Odd to me anyways. There were a ton of small kids, kids the same age as mine, out running about willy nilly fancy free while their parents just ignored them and "hung out" with their friends. Nothing against young moms, I was 24 when Dash-1 was born so I don't think I'm too much of an old fart yet but most of them were tube top wearing, big old shower curtain hanger earring type of gals.

In the span of walking halfway down the mall I had one kid run into me as she ran around in circles (her mom was about ten feet away and not paying a lick of attention), I had one kid step on my foot (dunno where his parents were) and while I was walking into Hallmark four kids came blowing past both moms just taking their time. And that's just what happened to me, I noticed a lot of other people glaring at these cherubs, so it wasn't just me.

Here's what gets me. I never saw one parent take responsibility for their kids, acknowledge that their kids were out of hand, try to pull them in, tell them to settle down. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. My kids act up in public, I'm not saying they are angels, hardly, but I am right on their asses let me tell you. When one of the boys bumps into someone I make him stop and apologize. I am well aware that for the most part small children are often off in their own world. But that's not an excuse for lazy parenting. If you don't want to make sure your child behaves in public don't let them leave the house. Don't drag your kid around like its an accessory, its a child who needs attention and a bedtime. And a little discipline.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Freedom fighter

My littlest one is going thru that phase that I hear last until they leave the house. He is trying so desperately to find some independence and its killing me. He hits the 18 month mark next week and its in full bloom. I blame my husband more so then me. Not only is that where both boys get their perfection and anal retentive drive from, I think its also where they get their need for constant movement. Though to my husband's defense he also gave them some killer blue eyes and lovely blond hair so I guess I shouldn't argue about the other stuff so much.

While flyboy was off on leave earlier this month he decided to "help" out dash--2 in his quest. If we went out to the store and dash-2 pitched a fit over having to sit in the cart his attitude was "I'll just take him out and let him walk around.". I get this logic, really I do. I'm not a total meanie who wants my kids to suffer and I certainly don't long to walk around target with a screaming kid in the cart. But.... once you take a kid out of the cart or stroller, at least my boys, they will never go back. They have tasted all that is sacred, they have tasted freedom and they are not giving it back without a fight. Lots of screaming and lots of treats.

The problem I kept trying to get my dear husband to understand is that he is rarely out at the store with me. In fact he is rarely in the same time zone as me. So him allowing dash-2 to walk in the store with him does not help me out it hinders me. I need to have dash-2 in the cart. Dash-1 is 3 years old and then some, so he is allowed to walk beside me, a. he can follow directions much better b. he listens much better and c. he doesn't spend half the time on the floor of walmart. Really I don't have enough Lysol at home to disinfect them after they touch the floor of walmart. I don't know why this is so hard for my husband to understand. Perhaps because he has never, ever, taken both boys out in public. Ever. I find that more amusing then anything else, that and for me its job security!

But I'm noticing that dash-2's fight is starting to branch out a little. He cant stand sitting in his high chair, he doesn't want to stay in the bath tub, lord help me when its time for the car seat. I'm trying to remember back as to when dash-1 conceded a bit that some of this was just a necessary evil and cut me some slack. I'm a tad worried that dash-2 might not have it in his personality to do so. That's another trait he gets from flyboy.

I'm making some concessions where I can. Yesterday when we ran into the PX I let him walk. There I was amidst all the parents with an energetic 3 yr old holding one hand and a pokey 18 mth old on the other. Quite a sight. On our walks rather then forcing him in the wagon I let him wander off. So long as he doesn't get carried away by a groundhog I consider it a success, I'm not really burning calories at the speed of an 18 mth old but to let him explore is worth it.

We are going to Target today and I'm going to need him to sit in the cart. I'm going to fight the good fight and darn it, I'm bigger and smarter, I will come out the winner.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

You are not a cow

We went down to see the cows yesterday, there are two brand new baby calves and the boys could sit there all day and watch them. So we are down by the barn, Dash-2 is standing on the fence with my assistance and I hear something.

Its like a little stream of water. But the stream is across the field and much louder. I look over at Dash-1. He's dropped his draws and is peeing thru the fence into the cow pasture. I freaked. Now its not a huge deal, we live on a big farm, back from the road, I don't mind if he occasionally pees on a tree while we are away from the house. Three year olds can only hold it so much. But the rule is you have to ASK before you pee outside of the bathroom.

me. "What in the world do you think you are doing? You cant just drop your tighty elmos outside?!" (You have to imagine this in a shrilly voice for the full effect.)

him. "I'm peeing like a cow. I could poop like one too."

me. "If you poop like a cow you will be sleeping with the cows. You my dear, are NOT a cow."

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

How to...

So as my memorial day post might have alluded too I'm a little pissy when people either don't realize or fail to remember what the day is really about. I was thinking that if I don't want my children to be those people then its up to flyboy and I to impart in them an understanding for just what the day means and who it should be about.

My husband remembers as a kid going back to visit his grandparents in Pennsylvania every memorial day that they were stationed on the east coast. They would go to the VFW ceremonies and visit family graves of veterans. So I started thinking about explaining it to my kids, granted with the elder only being three he's still kinda young to understand, but even now I didn't want him just blowing thru the day completely oblivious. I hit a bit of a snag though.

I went to flyboy and thought for sure he would tell me that I was thinking to hard and was shocked to see how serious he got the second the words came out of my mouth. I asked him how in the world we explain Memorial day and thanking people who have made a sacrifice, especially during this war, without opening the floodgates of worry. Flyboy is at a total loss as well. I had a near miss a few months back with a similar train of thought, flyboy was off somewhere. Dash-1 asked what if flyboy didn't come home, I paused and silently started freaking out, and then he said "what if he just keeps flying and flying and ends up at the moon." (He's a tad space obsessed) That one was simple, I took the direct approach, no way did daddy's plane have near enough gas, extra gas bladders or not, to make it to space. Flyboy is working out his own questions. We took the boys to the Air and Space Museum and in the World War 2 exhibit he saw the planes with bombs and guns on them. He wanted to know what the bomb was for and if daddy's plane did anything with bombs and why.

If my husband wasn't in the military I would have no problem explaining the day to them. I would have done it yesterday without reservation, I would remind them that responsible, courageous people answer a call to serve their country and some people don't come home, that their service is very special.

How do you do it? Especially right now in a war climate, when daddy will probably deploy again in the next year. How do you remember and yet reassure?

I'm probably thinking too hard aren't I?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

It's not really about the start of summer

It shouldn't be about the start of summer, it shouldn't be about the kick off of beach season or the opening of the pools. It is but it shouldn't be. Memorial day should be just that and day to remember those who have answered the call of their nation to serve and who paid with the ultimate sacrifice.

It's not about a great mattress sale, a day off from work, a big blow out start of summer barbecue. Its about remembering. Who should we remember? How about the gold star wife I saw at the PX who was only slightly older then I, with her two small kids in tow. How about the mother, who despite her son being grown, can still remember rocking him as a baby, but knows she will never get another hug. How about we remember the children who grow up learning about their mothers or fathers from stories and photographs. How about that.

This nation is great because of the people who stand ready and willing to answer the call to duty. They are willing to serve despite knowing that they will spend a great deal of time apart from their families. They are willing to serve despite knowing that they could make a better living in the civilian world. They are willing to serve despite knowing that they may be called upon to give their lives.

How about we remember those who fulfilled that unimaginable call to duty?

For all who have lost someone, a friend or a love, a spouse or a sibling, a son or a daughter, in no way is my sympathy or thanks enough. I hope in time you find peace and know that the sacrifice that they made, and that you make everyday, will never be forgotten.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Yummy yummy indeed

I doubt that there are very many people who read this blog that are in the market for some egg less recipes but I found a great one and wanted to share it. I never realized just how important an egg was to a recipe till i had to cook without them. The tricky part about egg less cooking is that its a crap shoot whether its going to rise, be nice and fluffy and not a giant sticky mess. Well these blueberry muffins are wonderful! They rose nicely, were fluffy and peeled from the muffin wrappers. Total success in my book. Everyone loved them, except dash-1 of course, he still is refusing to try them, but I like to think eventually he'll come around. And when he does he can actually eat them.

Egg less Blueberry Muffins
2 cups all-purpose flour ( I've been trying to use more whole wheat flour so I use 1 cup whole wheat flour and 1 cup regular)
1 cup sugar, plus 2 tsp. more
4 tsp. baking powder
1 cup milk
3 Tbs. melted butter
1 cup fresh blueberries

Heat oven to 350. Line 12 muffin cups with paper liners. Combine flour, sugar and baking powder in a medium-size bowl. Stir in milk by hand and melted butter. Fold in blueberries. Fill each cup 2/3 full. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.

I also made some yummy ground turkey, mushrooms, and spinach enchiladas last night with whole wheat tortillas. I wasn't sure how they would turn out but they were FANTASTIC! Much less greasy then when I've made them with ground beef and the tortillas were a little crispier which I liked. Again flyboy and Dash-2 loved them but alas, no go with dash-1. He did however eat a whole wheat tortilla with melted cheese in it and hold on to your hats, apple slices dipped in ketchup. Oh well at least he got his fiber.

Thanks for all your great suggestions! Its nice to see that so many of us are fighting the good food fight. One similar dish at a time!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Same old, same old

I am the mother of a picky eater. It is pushing me to the edge and those of you who are also mothers of picky eaters will understand that this is only a little bit of an exaggeration. Dash-1 is a picky, picky, picky eater. In part he is a child of utter routine and habit but he also has a lot of problems with severe reflux that took until he was almost two to get under control and then add to the list his allergy to peanuts and egg. His gastro says that all kids go thru a favorite food stage and to some extent are picky eaters but that Dash-1 probably learned to favor foods that were easier on his stomach. Then we found out that eggs and peanuts could kill him and widdled down the food list even more (we cant even get stuff that was made in factories that also process that stuff).

So I am hoping that someone out there can throw me a life line. I need some kid friendly ideas for healthy snacks, lunch and the occasional dinner. Dash-1 might like the same old thing but I'm very much over it and would like to see something besides a grilled cheese sandwich in his repertoire.

Help. Please.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

the gory details

Here it is a rather long winded run down of the other night. I tried to stream line it but I just cant. I am incapable of getting to the point quickly.

First I should say as a matter of survival for my sanity when flyboy is away and so that we can have some much needed alone time when he is here, we are kinda rigid parents about bedtime.

Bedtime in our house is sacred.

Seriously, something big has to be going on to keep my kids up and folks sometimes even daddy coming home after a few months away isn't big enough. At least for our kids, they thrive on schedule and routine. And sleep. So they go to bed early. Look when mama is here alone for days, weeks, months on end, 7:15 cant come soon enough some days.

That being said, my frienemey or as she shall go by "the wife" wanted us to come over to a get together at 5:30. Originally I thought it to be just a get together for the guys, but she figured it would just be great to get the kids together. During dinner time. Yeah, right. You'll understand why she's so clueless in a second.

So I begrudgingly drag myself and the kids, although I smartly feed them in the car on the drive over.

I thought I was going to have a panic attack on the way over. This woman gets under my skin.

I had all sorts of things going thru my head, she makes no secret in her emails that since her husband has gotten out he's just making "tons and tons" of money, but I was also worried that she would be like 120 pounds or something and then gloat about that all night too. I told flyboy that I would hide in the car and he could go in first, should she be a skinny model to call me and I would just drive on.

We got in the house and I didn't recognize her. I was so shocked I was hoping that my face wasn't registering it. Again, Lord excuse me for saying this but she did bring it on in her attitude towards me.... my goodness she has gained at least fifty- sixty pounds.

I on the other hand am about twenty pounds lighter then I was before I had children, thank you Lord for throwing me that bone.

We did the pleasantries but I didn't really have much to say to her. We live in two different worlds.

I am my kids mom. I am a stay at home mom and I am very proud of that.

My boys were in awe of a giant fish tank that my husbands coworker had in his living room. I made a comment about how sorry I was that they were getting finger prints on it. They were very nice about it, I made a little joke about how its so hard to clean up after them because they are just little mess tornadoes who follow behind you.

"The wife" looks at me and says, "Oh I know, the house is a mess the day after the maid comes.". Oh you have a maid, good for you, I'm sure she was thrilled to have a reason to work that one into the conversation.

Later we were talking about how one couple would be PCS'ing soon and would they live in housing or buy. So of course "the wife" hijacked the conversation to tell us all that her taxes right now were $3200 a year but since they would be moving to a very exclusive neighborhood in Austin in July (because the three bedroom house isnt big enough for their three person family) to a MUCH larger home where their taxes will be a whopping 12k a year.

Meanwhile you have to remember that they are the only civilians in the room, everyone else, is getting really underpaid.

Lets see what other comments..... oh she has a nanny. Of course she does.

She has a nanny and a maid because she owns a stationary store and its very stressful. I hear stationary is right up there next to neurosurgery in complexity. I told her that my only hope of getting a nanny was if my 24 year old brother became unemployed. Fingers crossed folks....

Her and I did go head to head on something though.

She can make comments up the wazoo about me and my husband, I don't like it but I'm a wimp but my kids. I will come after you.

I was talking to another wife about how I just signed dash-1 up for nursery school in the fall and I couldn't believe it was that time already. "The wife" balked at me so loud, "You mean he's not in school yet?".

He turned three in feb, the cut off is in December up here so no, no hes not in school. I calmly explained that to her, that he was starting in a nursery program as soon as he could. She said very snotty oh well her kid (who is two months younger) was in a two year old program, but that must be, and I kid you not she used the term again, because it was a "very exclusive private school".

I explained that dash-1 would be in a private school program as well (hey technically its a private school, its in a church basement but why nit pick?) and then preK there and then off to kindergarten.

She scoffed when I said he would be going to public schools. I finally had enough and I said very sweetly, "Its funny that you think its so strange that he's not in a two year old program, I mean I did give birth to him, why not actually spend the time raising him.".

That shut her up for five whole minutes.

The kids started to get really antsy about 7:15, no wonder, it was their bedtime. I tried to start making an exit and she freaked about my kids bedtime.

How could I put them down so early, bedtime routines don't work, her kid doesn't go to bed till 9:30, her husband takes care of him in the evening anyways so she doesn't care when he goes to bed, he just quietly watches tv with them so she doesn't really care, isn't 7:15 early for a three year old... blah blah.... I put my kids to bed early for the reason I said before.

I love my kids dearly but I love them more when I have some quiet time at night!

She tried to say that they don't put him to bed early because they eat late, I said that I make sure dinner is ready between 5:30 and 6. Oh well her husband doesn't get home till six. I told her that on nights like that, and there are a lot of them, dinner is ready and we are sitting in our seats waiting for him (I left out that if looks could kill he'd be limping into work the next day) her reply, "Well I own my own business I don't have to cook."

I couldn't pass that one up, my reply, "I do too, its a family enterprise.".

She seems to forget the life we lead.

My husband isn't home every night to help out.

I don't live down the street from my family, there isn't tons of support up here for me.

I am doing it on my own with two little ones. Get off my back.

Then she made the comment that her husband flew out here a few days before her and she had her son and the two dogs on her own and she was just exhausted and so stressed. Well I mean she did have the nanny and the maid, but other then that on her own.

Every wife in that room looked like they were about to lunge at her. I thought her husband was going to crawl under a rock.

There is a lot I'm leaving out, this is already long enough. Oh wait just a few more things I noticed that evening. Her child is out of control.

At one point he climbed onto the couch and started jumping up and down throwing the pillows all over. I am so proud that my son looked at me with a look on his face as if to say, oh no mom do you see what that kid is doing?! And "the wife" didn't stop him.

And while all kids go at different speeds, my little one has been potty trained for six months, hers is two months younger I'll give him that, but hes also still in diapers. Score one for the poor stay at home mom.

You know what I really think.... she needs to pay that nanny more.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

insert evil laugh here

So I saw "the wife", my frienemey (flyboy has asked me if that's my new word of choice these days and yes, yes it is) yesterday. Wow. Interesting to say the least. As another friend of mine said who was at the same BBQ, boy does her personality show thru!

Just a little preview and I will probably be going to hell for getting some pleasure in this, but she had gained a ton of weight. Now I'm the last to care what someones weight is but she had made pointed comments about mine five years ago and I'm still harboring resentment.

I shall give all the gory details later, and there are some good ones. Just wanted to report that my sanity is intact and I even politely put her in her place a time or two.

Monday, May 19, 2008

from one set of combat boots to another

I recently got some fantastic news. A dear friend of mine is coming back to our area! Her husband is retiring from the Army and accepted a position at the Academy. I am thrilled to have her back within my reaches! She is the kind of friend who despite being terribly busy with her own life is there waiting in the wings should you need her. We worked together in my pre-children life, they PCS'ed shortly after Dash-1 made his appearance. While I was here alone while flyboy was deployed and pregnant it was her and another Army friend who took me back and forth while I was in the hospital off and on and sat with me for days at a time.

My friend has a little bit of a head start on me, her husband is finishing his Army career, while mine still has a solid amount left in the Marines, her son is starting his Army career at West Point this summer, while my son will be starting nursery school in the fall, but still we seem to have a common ground. I hope that as my children get older that I can be the kind of mom that she is. She nurtures their whole being, taking them here and there to various activities and I swear never a hair out of place on her head. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her without make up on.

There is a point to my ramble. After all isn't there always! Her husband's retirement ceremony will be in the end of June. I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do. I'd like to get her a little something to mark her move from military wife to military mom. Any ideas?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A dream solution... if only I had a pair

I wrote about the frienemy last month who was coming to town and I hadn't a clue what to do about it. Well... I still don't. She'll be in town on Monday I should come up with something I'm sure, I'm kinda going with the whole ignoring thing for now. Very mature I know. But I did see something in a magazine and I have a whole little scenario in my head.

Imagine the kids are in bed, we are having a nice adult dinner, the four of us (in my scenario flyboy is suffering with me). I've made a nice roasted chicken or something, I dunno, doesn't matter. Oops I realized I left the wine in the kitchen.

I go into get it.

Bring it out.

Place it on the table.

Right in front of her.

Hows that for passive aggressive?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Yeah so our adventures at the dentist didn't go particularly well the other day. Dash-1 screamed while I put his shoes on, screamed while I loaded him up in the car, screamed while I drove there, screamed when we got there, I'm sure I'm making a perfectly clear picture of how the trip went. The dentist told us that she's going to have to sedate him in order to get any work done since she's very fond of the ten fingers that she has. I most certainly understand where she is coming from. We weren't able to get anything done that day because she wants to double check with his doctor about the medicines she's going to use and his allergies and other issues. So.... we will have to go back another day. I don't know if my poor heart can take it. I'm hoping they can sedate me as well. The dentist was very nice and understanding of why he is so hyper sensitive about doctors, he's had his fair share of crappy experiences and yucky procedures.

In another ramble, I went to the nearby (I use that term loosely) Army base to run a bunch of errands today. Kid free errands, it was wonderful, even though one of them was dealing with the morons at tricare. I had a doctors apt, waited forever for some prescriptions, had a very informative (again using the term loosely) conversation with tricare, dropped off dry cleaning, did some grocery shopping, and got some gas. Since I was child free I ran into the 7 day store to get a fountain soda. Once you have kids you realize how much a luxury simply running into a store for a quick something really is. So after paying 3.82 for gas which is a bargain around here I went in to get a 79 cent soda. They checked my ID for the measly soda not for the almost fifty bucks in gas I had just bought.

This peeves me greatly folks. The base we go to is a base that gets a lot of non military visitors, such as parents, and that has a lot of civilian employees. It irritates me to no end when you pull up and you see the gas pumps filled, to the point that there is a five car line, filled with cars that seem to be lacking something kinda important.... a DOD decal. Now don't get me wrong I'm not an idiot, I know that some retirees don't have the decal on the car and certainly rate to use the exchange and what not, but trust me, most of these folks are not the intended target for discount. Like when I pulled up to the pump once and overheard the woman talking to her husband, "You must have ID when out of uniform. What kind of ID are they talking about?" Again if you have to question it it probably doesn't apply to you. Most of us who have been around the military block a time or two are very familiar what all important ID they are talking about. It just irritates me. Good for you, your kid is a cadet, that does not rate you to the same perks that my husband gets for letting people shoot at him.

I know this is one of those things that I should let go of. I'm sure to most it wouldn't seem like a big deal. I just have a problem with these types of things. I'm kinda a black and white type of gal. Its a simple rules things, you either rate to use the gas or you don't. And if you don't, you should honor the rules. That's all I'm asking for, just for people to follow the rules.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

the dentist **shudder**

I hate the dentist. I feel kinda bad, my dentist is a very lovely man. But I hate the profession. I hate going to the dentist, I put it off and well, that strategy hasn't worked out to well. I get mild panic attacks when I have to go in to get work done. Bless his heart my poor dentist is really good with me but still. My husband doesn't understand why I still go to a dentist in Maryland, I'm not joking when I say that I don't have it in me to break in another one.

So if your wondering what is bringing on this ramble, what could be worse to a dental-phobe then going to the dentist? Taking your three year old to get a cavity filled. Yes my three year old has a cavity. I know I know crappy mom but we're told its very common especially with his reflux problems.

I'm afraid I might pass out when the drill comes on. I was so hoping flyboy would take him but when I asked his face lost all color and he kept saying, "but your the mom, he'll want his mom". I'm gonna slap my big girl mommy pants on and face the music.

Oh lord I hope my baby does well. And I hope I don't vomit.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

humor and motherhood

If you do not find the humor in it... it will kill you.  Or you will go stark raving mad.

 Either Or.

really if you cant laugh at your life then what can you laugh at!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

So about the underpants... and other toliet stories

Like I mentioned before Elmo underpants do indeed flush down the toilet.  The Roaming Southerner was very right in her comment when she said it probably wasn't funny at the time. Very right indeed.  A few days ago Dash-1 was going to the bathroom by himself which he does all the time.  He comes streaking buck naked into the playroom and tells me that he dribbled a little (hey its a lot to control at three!) and so he flushed his underwear down the toilet.  I couldn't believe that he had really flushed it, I was more ticked that I was going to have to stick my hand in a pee filled toilet to fish out Elmo underpants.  I went in prepared for battle but to my surprise... there was nothing in the toilet.  Indeedy do Elmo had been flushed. 

I wish I could say that was the worst of the toilet stories for that day. Oh no. There is one that I haven't told anyone yet, out of a mixture of shame and yuckiness, but in its own way its kinda funny.  

I was cleaning the our bedroom while the kids were trailing behind me.  They vanished into the playroom for a bit and I went about my business.  I heard a faint splash, when I got to the hallway they were standing there fighting over Dash-2's milk cup.  I took it from Dash-1 handed it back to his brother and told him that that was not his cup and if he wanted one he could ask for one the correct way.  Right as the little one is about to take a sip dash-1 says as he starts to walk away, "I was just trying to stop him from drinking it since it fell in the toilet." I have never ripped something from one of my kids so quickly yet to date. 

I still don't get why he didn't just tell me that from the start but I've learned this much so far, small children rarely make sense when you want them too.  That and I've learned that kids have a bizarre fascination with toilets. 

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Leave flyboy style

Flyboy is on leave again. And this time two whole weeks of it. I should say that this doesn't happen often, the only reason he has this much time off is because he could only sell so much back by mid May before starting a new contract. Perhaps if he was better about taking it (or if the squadron was better about letting him take it) throughout the year (years) he wouldn't have to take it when not much of anything was going on. Regardless its nice for him to get a break from work. Although I did catch him on the phone with the FDO talking about a trip that was overlapping with his leave, I saw the twinkle in his eye as he briefly thought about taking it. Then he saw me standing there and caught the look in my eye.

The boys are excited to have daddy home for two whole weeks. Dash-1 keeps asking if flyboy is really going to be home the whole time or if maybe he'll go into work just to sit in the airplanes. I am looking forward to having some company around here that doesn't poop in his pants or flush his elmo underpants down the toilet (and in case your wondering yes they do flush down standard toilets). But yet at the same time.... 2 weeks. 2 weeks at home. Forgive me for saying this but yikes. I can not for the life of me think about when this happened last, even for our honeymoon we only took four days to go away. Post deployments he takes the ten days they give him, same for when we had the boys.

We have such a routine down, I'm just so used to doing my thing as the alpha parent. We shall make room for daddy the next two weeks. And we couldn't just sit around the house, although there are so many things that need done around here, so what else is a family to do? Road trip of course! Gas maybe near four bucks but that isn't going to stop us. We are going to see my parents for a few days, enjoy some free babysitting, take the boys on a fun outing or two and then its off to see flyboys parents way out in Pennsyltuckey (trust me its a very fitting nickname) and enjoy some time out there. I'm not even bothered that I'm spending mothers day with my in laws and their five large dogs. Nope not a bit. I'm just looking forward to some family fun.

And who knows maybe will I'm gone I'll compose a post to discuss feminism some more. We all seemed to enjoy that one.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Yes, I am indeed, just a mom.

I got a call the other day from someone totally out of the blue. It was one of those awkward calls that you cant wait to be over because, frankly, you have nothing to say to the person. She asked what I was up too and I honestly cant remember what my response was, I'm blinded by what she said next. Her voice had a weird tone and she said, "Oh so your at home? You don't work even part time?"

Now, as my lovely friend bitter betty can attest, occasionally I tend to read to much into things or become a tad obsessive. But really I think there was something in the tone there. Why is it, for some, staying at home to raise your children is not considered work? Cause let me tell you I worked before children and really not a lot compares to the hours I put in around here. I went to college, I'm halfway to a master's, I had a great job that I loved (I wouldn't put it in the mega bucks category but still it was a great job). But ultimately I brought these children into the world I am going to raise them.

Motherhood can be a lot like high school. Everyone whispering about everyone else and their choices. I'm the first to admit I don't always understand my friends who are working mom and their decision to put their kids in daycare. This post isn't to start a working mom vs. stay at home mom debate. This is my little corner of the web and I'm just using it to figure out why people seem to look down at stay at home moms.

I work hard from the moment my little ones wake up to the moment they go down. Dash-1 has grown out of naps, occasionally he'll read my mind or something and take one but for the most part there is no quiet time around here anymore. Just so some of you aren't thinking "ah ha well she has time to write this! So she must sit around and do nothing!" Yeah I started this on Tuesday morning.

I blame feminism. Yeah that's right. I said it. I'm a woman and I blame feminism for the problems out there. Oh lord I can feel the nasty comments coming. I just don't get feminism. Its a very simplified outlook of feminism but to me the crux of it is that woman can be anything, do anything, and are equal to men. Hey I said it was a simplified take on it. So my confusion is that it seems to me that feministas look down on woman for choosing to be a stay at home mom. But I thought as a woman, as a strong woman, I could be anything? So why look down on me for waiting to stay at home and make an impact on the world by raising my children?

I don't think I'm selling myself short being "just" a mom. I don't think that I'm not living up to my potential. Would I maybe be a slightly saner person if I worked out in the big people world with other adults? Perhaps. But life is filled with choices. I gave that life up when I had kids and when we decided to make a go as a one income family. I'm not saying that as my kids grow up and get in school that I wont go back to the working world, but my priority will always be my kids. I wish that people could understand that stay at home mama's work really hard at their "job". Now there are occasionally piles of laundry or dirty dishes in the sink, but my responsibility is to keep things on track and running as smoothly as they can with little ones rustling about. Not to mention trying to turn out happy, healthy, responsible kids.

So next time you ask someone if they stay at home with their kids don't ever say the phrase "Oh so you don't work?".

And please, working moms, don't think I am criticizing your decisions. As mom's we all have to make the best decision that we see fit for our families.