Sunday, August 3, 2008

where's the third?

Not here that much I can tell you.

It seems that everyone I know is expecting their third child. I just got an email this morning that my cousin is expecting her third in March. Really I couldn't be happier for them all. Really. Its just that my two run circles around me.

I feel like a bit of a crappola mom because while I would LOVE more, I'm just not sure how I would manage right now... money, sanity, space in the car, my developing svelte figure, ok so the last was a bit of a stretch, but the rest are legit concerns.

Ultimately right now just isn't the time for us. But I am tired of my friends who's husbands are always around and who live near family making it seem like adding to our family is just as simple as simple can be and why don't we just start popping more out.

Note to self I should probably stop bugging bitter betty about when she's going to be having kids. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that one!


  1. Oh I love how people think they have the right to know about the functioning of your reproductive organs. We've only been married 7 months and at every social gathering, if either of us is seen holding a friend's baby, we are constantly interrogated about our plans. And both of our mothers are dropping heavy hints that started off rather subtle and have turned into something slightly less than a forced mating ritual :)

    Hang in there. You guys know what is best for your family and raising two little boys is still quite an accomplishment. Having the Brady Bunch doesn't necessarily make anyone Mom of the Year!

  2. True Story: *R* and I get asked about having kids more often than people ask us about when we are going to get married.

    One step at a time people!

    I'm convinced everyone is always pushing other people to have kids, (or more kids in this case), so that they can play with theirs without having to have more of their own...

    That's my theory, and I'm stickin' to it.

  3. This is a long-standing frustration for me, having waited until I was, ahem, WELL into my thirties to have just the ONE that I have, with no intentions at all of having another.

    I'm constantly amazed at the arguments I get from people who don't even know me or my family - they take it so personally when I say we just want the one, thank you very much. You'd think I insulted their mother, or beat up their dog, or something.

    (I've gotta admit, though, sometimes I like it a little. I get a little charge out of driving people crazy with my refusal to conform to the 2.5 kids American Dream family.)

    I knind of love being my own person and making decisions without taking anyone else's opinion into account. (Except the hubs, of course. He DOES get a vote. It doesn't count as much as mine, though.)

  4. I have two kids and I get comments all the time about when we are having another. Umm, try never. And we even have one of each! It is really no one's business but people always think that it is, lol.

  5. My husband and I had been married a few years when people started bugging us about having kids. Shut them up real fast when we'd tell them we'd been trying and I was infertile and spent lots of time in doctor's offices and on fertility drugs. :)

    Thankfully we finally had the Little Mister. We hope we can give him a little brother or sister someday, but certainly don't take that for granted!

  6. And if you kept having kids people would be asking you if 'you knew what caused that'. You can't win either way. *sigh*

  7. All my friends have between 2-5 kids. I'm in the minority I only have one. I'm ok with that. I know where you're coming from.

  8. I think when the time is right for you to have more and you want more that will be the best time :)
    Most of these folks do have extra help or leave their kids with a sitter. I find what you do to be honorable and I think it's okay to be stressed out :)

  9. Almost everyone I meet has 1 or 2, and I'm the oddball with 3. Of course, I know a few with 6 or 7 (I'm catholic), but I receive a lot of looks when I have my 3 with me. I remember a lot of crazy looks and comments when I was pregnant with #3.

    What I'm saying is: It doesn't matter how many you have, do what is right for you because others will always try to force their opinions on you.

  10. I thought it was interesting that both you and Guard Wife were musing over this issue. It got me thinking and I hope you don't mind, but I put up a post with a link to yours.

    This is such a personal issue that no one has any right presume what anyone else should or shouldn't do.

  11. Marine Wife led me this direction...guess great minds think alike! :)

    My two girls are 9 and 5 and I, for the last couple years, told people when they asked that "I know my limits" and the baby factory was closed.

    The past month or so, though, I've really been wondering if that's the truth.

    It's hard to decide. Especially with the whole Nat'l Guard husband thing mixed much to think about.

    Thanks for posting this!

  12. I agree with mrs. who. People will poke their nose in your business no matter what.

    My favorites are:

    "Four is a nice round number."

    And, "Well don't you want two of each? Another boy would be so fun."

    Seriously people! As my life isn't busy enough.

    I love my kids dearly, but if you are contemplating more, please come to my house for an afternoon. You may soon change your mind. It's wild and crazy here and I liken it to 'small child warfare'. My children are less than *ahem* darling and dainty. Ok, they have their moments. ;)

  13. Yeah, this is a tough one for me. Part of me wants to have one more because I don't know that I'm ready to be totally done, but then the other part says no way, you crazy fool, you can't even find a babysitter for the two you got! So, yeah, I feel your pain. One of these days, I guess we'll figure it out. Maybe.

  14. Sorry people do that. I actually got the opposite after having my daughter - people just assumed I was done because I had my boy and girl. I actually had people tell me what else is there to try for (namely my MOTHER@@)? It's such a personal decision and when you in the middle of trying to make it having people critique you doesn't help. Thanks for coming by my blog and good luck with your decision. It's a hard one, I know!!


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