Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My husband... is strange

My husband cracks me up.

Dash-1's teachers are always talking to me about his "intensity" I just stare at them and say, quite honestly, "he gets it from his father". Now he gets his Irish temper from me but we aren't talking about me now are we?

Anyways the other day I saw a perfect illustration of my dear flyboys quirkiness. He very lovingly said he would clean the bathroom since even the routine (and necessary) act of putting on my shorts requires serious effort.

Well, when I clean the bathroom I like to think I do a decent job, I spray down everything, wipe up the counters, the tub, the shower, all the pee around the toilet, shoot sometimes I wonder why bother cleaning the toilet since all the pee is around it but I still do.

His idea of cleaning? He got the steamer thingy and steamed the ENTIRE bathroom. He got the tub and shower cleaner then it was when we moved in, seriously, it was breathtaking.

BREATHTAKING. It sparkled.

He even disassembled the toilet and the seat to clean it, I didn't even know you could do that, or that one would.

The whole bathroom was like a glittering bathroom commercial. Surely I thought that was that. But he still had more to do. He wanted to wax the tub and don't get me wrong that does help to keep it wicked shiny and dirt just glides right off. Yet its not ideal when you have a wobbly, off balanced, wicked pregnant wife and two dumb daredevil little boys who like to stand in the bath tub during bath time.

He conceded my point but was very disappointed. However I did walk in moments later to find him buffing polish off the counter tops and sinks.

Now I'll give you this bathroom cleaning isn't so much strange, he's a Marine, a thorough guy. He misses the old field day (deep cleaning, think of the kind with a toothbrush, to you none military types). But you have to understand it in the grand picture. Later that day we were cleaning out my new car, I was tidying up and I turn around to find him wipping down his shop vac with armoral protectorant wipes.

Yes folks, he was armoralling his shop vac. Now that is odd. But it is nice and shiny now.

I betcha my friend is reading this and getting all warm and fuzzy. She gives her husband a hard time because she cleans like flyboy and he cleans like me. Sometimes I think she gets jealous when I make fun tell her about his cleaning fits.

Oh and one more thing I said I was going to call him out on because it just doesn't seem right. He has taken to hiding his new nerf gun. He hangs it on the back of our bedroom door and then arranges our bath towels over it, checking it to make sure it's loaded. Why you ask is a grown man hiding his nerf gun?

Although what is a grown man who is well trained in the use of actual firearms doing with a nerf gun might be a better question.

He's hiding it from his children. So that he will have quick access to his weapon should he need to instill law and order. In case the little people we spawned attack.

Sigh. And this is what I live with.

In all fairness, I'd totally be all over flyboy writing a funny post about me like this but every time I ask him to post something he just gives me a look. I think he'd rather take the toliet apart and plan for all out nerf war.

But, no problemo my friends, because I love him. And even more so because he loves me.

And its blog fodder.

31 comments:

  1. For my 50th birthday, my boss gave me two nerf guns....one for me, one for my husband.

    When my kids came to visit from Texas, we all had such a blast chasing each other around the house with them.

    I have hidden them in the basement because my husband would stalk me and then shoot me constantly...while sitting on the toilet, while trying to dress, etc.

    I will have my revenge, though....when he least expects it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was so funny! Now that he['s proven how well he cleans the bathroom, he should do it all the time! Or at least until Dash -3 is potty trained!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WAXING THE TUB! -thanks, I needed a laugh today! I can't wait to make my husband read this post when (if ever) he gets home from work today, lol! I'm so glad you got to him before he waxed the tub, though...we want the little one to come out without any field day intervention!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love how he was cleaning his shop vac! Priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Man this brought back many memories of my childhood. My dad is retired AF and is a cleanaholic. I also dated a Marine back in the day and I can remember him cleaning his bathroom for field day inspections and he always told me the secret to a shiny tub was to use pledge haha. I can vividly remember him wiping down his tub with dusting spray...I will admit it was pretty shiny but that's just odd!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The nerf gun cracks me up! That's awesome that he cleaned though!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ahhahaha. He's ready to defend you from dash 1 at a moments notice. He did give you the stink eye...

    And, yeah, that military training is showing a wee bit with that bathroom. I cannot imagine taking the toilet apart to clean it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!! Hubs cleans the bathroom the same way....though he still uses q tips to get every crack! we haven't gotten to the nerf gun stage yet....but i'm sure it isn't far away!

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is awesome. Sounds like my man, alright. He doesn't clean often, but when he does - look out! (I think he things it's easier to follow me around and point out what I missed...that didn't last long!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. There is defiantly something about a military Man and the way that they think..., I love it when my guy cleans the bathroom it sparkles!, and the nurf gun thing, I bet you can guess who bought them in my house.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm jealous. So, so jealous. When my hubby offers to clean the bathroom, he just runs a Clorox wipe around, throws it away, and calls it done. So sad.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nice! I need to know more about this steamer thing you are talking about. It sounds like I need this in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is Flyboy willing to clean our bathroom, too? ;) We'll pay him well! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. HAAAA! I love nerf guns!!!!! I also am totally cracking up at "detailing" of the shop vac. hee hee!

    ReplyDelete
  15. That's HILARIOUS!! And can he teach classes for other husbands? I would gladly pay for McStudly to attend a course or two... or three... is there a group discount?!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You crack me up! I wish mine would steam clean the bathroom. When pigs fly maybe. The nerf gun hiding is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  17. OH MY WORD!!!! He actually took the toilet apart to clean?????

    *Sigggghhhh*

    Man oh man..what a guy!! You are a lucky lady ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm jealous! If I could just get my husband to even SEE the whiskers all around the sink....

    The nerf thing is so cute! What a fun dad :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. So many questions, which one first????

    hmmm..

    #1) Does he do windows?
    #2) Is he available come the end of September?
    #3) Where is your weapon during the all out Nerf war? Or is your weapon milk?
    #4) What kind of steamer thing do you have and does it actually work??

    ReplyDelete
  20. please send him to my house. my tub is so gross and we cant get it clean. even mike has said our tub is hard to clean and usually he gives me a hard time about not cleaning it.

    As for the nerf gun maybe i shoudl get some

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow, I wish I could get my bf to clean half of what your hubby does! Hahaha, ah-mazing!

    Sounds like there's never a dull moment in your house if a hidden nerf gun has become necessary ; )

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm loving your comments!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cuuuuuuuuuute post!

    When my hubby cleans, he REALLY cleans. My only problem is getting him to clean.

    And yes, he too has Nerf guns hidden away...not for kids, but for me.

    ReplyDelete
  23. That is too funny! My husband is kind of messy but usually on the weekend we spend half a day and just clean. And boy, he gets into field daying mode and just goes to town! I love those days... and kinda wish they happened the other six days of the week too!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Um can he come to my house next?

    And I didn't see any kiddo costumes out yet, just pets? They still had back to school stuff for the kiddos. Maybe in the next week or two, though!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am envious, I have to say. E cooked dinner last night...it took me longer to clean up his mess (and throw out the rug he melted) than it would have taken me to prep, cook and clean up dinner...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ah, the good ole field days... Hubs swore up and down that we would have those upon leaving the MC... Yeah, not so much. Maybe we should take a page from your Hubby's book and get back into it, lol. Good for him, at least he saved you the trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  27. That is awesome!

    My first thought was "Ahh, Field Day" I occasionally do the same thing. You know, go all kinds of crazy cleaning every darn little nook and cranny of something. Please notice I did say occasionally. 8 years in the Marine Corps does not trump the everyday havoc of living with 4 homeschooled kids, 2 dogs and a hubby that works from home.

    Anyway - I was all onboard to defend FlyBoy... but Armor All on the shop-vac? LOLOLOLOL! That is just plain weird!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Can I please borrow your husband for a weekend? I am about to clean bathrooms and could totally use the help. There is also the matter of painting a certain guest bedroom that apparently won't paint itself...

    I have to admit that I can't believe he took the toilet seat apart to clean it! AMAZING!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Haha. Flyboy cracks me up and reminds me very much of my own hubby. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ha, that is hilarious. Omigoodness. I totally understand about blog fodder. LOL. I've used my brothers, sometimes . . . they're just so amusing, and I don't have a husband yet anyways.

    Love the toilet cleaning. I'm thinking my cleaning style is between yours and his...I'm pretty thorough when I do it. Ha.

    ReplyDelete

I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.