Saturday, May 30, 2009

Solo weekends and other thoughts

I have said it before and I'll say it again (and knowing me again and again)... I hate solo weekends.

They depress me. Even when they are for the most part delightful like today there is just something about them that feels off. As if something is missing.

Oh wait..... something is missing.

Like I already said today was, for the most part, a perfectly delightful day. The weather was a very comfortable 72 degrees with a wonderful breeze.

Side note, in case you think I'm a weather dork I never was until I moved up here to the land of window air units, now I watch the temps like a frigging hawk and suddenly cool comfortable days mean so much more to me.

The kids didn't wake at the crack of dawn, I wouldn't say we slept in by any means but I wasn't up before the rooster thankfully. They played nicely and with the exception of a horrible horrific poop which took half a pack of wipes to clean up and a tantrum at S@m's club, it wasn't a really stressful day.

And besides which, poop and at least one child having a tantrum in a day are more the norm around here then the exception. And in what household are they not I ask you?

But still, all day the day just seems off.

I don't know if its the hormones messing with me or if, as I do on some trips, I just seem to miss my dear flyboy more then usual. I wish there was someone to talk to at night, I wish I could bounce ideas and child rearing stuff off of him. I wish every time the phone rang my son didn't ask if it was daddy, only to have to explain to him for the 189th time that we can't call daddy right now.

I wish I had my best friend here to just be with. He doesn't paint my nails or do my hair but he's still a wicked good best friend. And not bad on the eyes either.

And I really wish he hadn't asked for how long daddy would be home before he flew away again. But I suppose that is, in fact, the reality of our lives. It's at the point where neither flyboy or I, or for that matter apparently the kids, knows if its normal for him to be home or if our normal is for him to be away.

And I do realize it could be worse, he could be gone for a year, but again remember this for us is constant. Oh and I'll throw in the disclaimer too that yes, yes we did choose this life. Don't you just want to cram a plunger down someones throat when that little gem comes out of their mouth?

This trip has sucked. As always, things have been missed (career day at dash -1's school and really how cool would it have been to have his dad there in his flight suit talking about his job? He would have totally be the coolest dad there), problems have come up, problems have been solved, kids have driven me crazy, I have driven them crazy. All in all, suck as it may, we have survived.

Who knows when he'll be home, hope to goodness before that field trip thingy, so perhaps I'll just say that we will survive. You know I hate to tempt the fates too much.

We'll even survive this weekend. Off as it maybe.

19 comments:

  1. Ugh, I'm sorry for the solo weekend. Hope you feel better :(

    By the way, the fact that you said "wicked good" in a sentence tells me that you're ready for Maine!

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  2. When is dash-3 due? I wanna make him a hat.

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  3. Sorry about that....I remember a year or so ago when hubby was in the field and my daughter had a Father /Daughter dinner at her preschool. They wouldn't let me come in his place because it a father daughter thing and they wanted to share with the girls how important that relationship was. They asked if we had an uncle, granddad that could bring her to the special evening. We just PCSed about 4 months prior and we never have family around, especially when you move every 2-3 years. I said that I work very hard to make sure that my kids don't miss out on things when Dad is gone, and I am both parents when he is is not home and I wanted to bring her. She still said no. Needless to say I shared with her how crappy this was, and no we did not go there the following year.

    Hugs to you...

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  4. Ugh, window air units. Yeah, we had those in CT.

    WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE AIR CONDITIONER!?!?

    I SAID "WE HAD THOSE IN CT!"



    I also hate solo weekends. Other families with mommies AND daddies sure do like to rub their happy nuclear families in our faces, don't they. Darn them. ;)

    I hope you have a good one!

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  5. Cram a plunger? Why, yes, don't mind if I do.

    I agree, weekends are the hardest. Weekdays I can fill up with the obligatory stuff, but weekend fun isn't quite as fun without your best friend.

    Hugs to you, and wishes for a speedy, safe return of Flyboy.

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  6. For the last year, weekends have been 10 times harder on me than any other day. Holiday weekends, probably 100 times harder. I know you've given army souses props for the long deployments in the past, but I honestly thing you have it just as hard if not harder. I think the never knowing when they are going or how long they'll be back before they are out again for who knows how long, would be so incredibly stressful.

    And yes, when I get that little gem of "you chose this life" I want to spit in their face.

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  7. Aw, I'm sorry! I hope everything gets worked out. It'll get better!

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  8. :(

    Sorry you're having a rough time of it.

    J did the whole gone 2 weeks, home for 3, gone a month, home for 4 weeks, gone 6 weeks, blah, blah thing for the first 4 years we were married. It royally sucked. I might even get flamed for saying this, but I personally think that's harder than having them just GONE for 6 months or a year. (We've done that too) At least then you can find your routine and stick to it...

    Anyway, hope today is better for you!

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  9. Oh my god, I so love/agree with your comment about shoving a plunger down someone's throat when they mention that we chose this... yes, we did, but does that not entitle us to whine a bit? Other people get to bitch about their jobs, which they chose, so until they stop bitching, I won't stop bitching! :P

    I hope the weekend is looking up by now!

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  10. Weekends are always the worst, and I'll hand the you the plunger and hold them down while you do the cramming.

    What are friends for? :)

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  11. oh my gosh soooo true!!

    i look forward to the weekend all work week and when they get here i have to wonder... why was i looking forward to this? i miss my hubby more during that time.

    thank god for friends!

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  12. I think that no matter how many times they are gone, weekends alone never get better and some trips really are worse than others. Oh, and I am sure having pregnancy hormones aren't very helpful either.

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  13. Yeeea... I hate it when people say I chose this life. Grr. I hope you feel better soon.

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  14. I know I couldn't do it... I don't like my husband being too long at the store... then again... he might not be such a pain sometimes if I saw him less... Hmmm

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  15. Girl, I know the feeling! Just know you are not alone in that. It is very hard!! I know you already know this but just make sure to cherish those sweet moments you all do have together. Take pictures & make everything extra special. Sometimes those special memories help us through the hard times. Oh yeah, BTW the sound of those window air units make me sleep like a baby LOL! Must be the "white noise"!!

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  16. I've done multiple year + long deployments and then we did a 6 year stretch where my hubby was coming and going A LOT, and I would rather have a straight year long deployment. The coming and going is way too disruptive. Hang in there!

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  17. Window units? I wouldn't know about those :)

    Sorry you're having a not-so-great solo weekend. I hope Flyboy gets home soon to brighten up your mood.

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  18. :( I'm sorry my love.
    I can't imagine how this must suck to not have your love around for such long periods of time, esp. with little guys running around.

    You can always call me if you just need to talk. I know it's not the same but I wanted to throw that out there. Keep your chin up.

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