Friday, April 18, 2008

Can you feel it coming on?

Whats that you ask? Its a rant. And its a doozy of one.

So I clicked onto my little mommy site this morning while it was nice and quite in the house (which was really oh dark thirty cause the kids have been up at 6:00 lately). On my mommyboard there is a section for news stories and what not. Someone had posted the story of the Fort Hood sophmore who was suspended for two days after answering his fathers phone call during school. Mind you his father is in Iraq. Now you could debate whether or not he should have done that, from the various articles I've read on it, he didn't make a habit of doing such and his parents had worked out an arrangement with the school officials before his father had deployed. So someone posted a comment Since when does being part of a military family qualify one as special needs? I find it very hard to believe that the only time his father could call was during school hours.

Anyone elses eye starting to twitch. Seriously I thought my head might explode. Maybe I'm taking this too personally. I wish I could give you all the great back story about the chick that wrote this but I dont want to get into personal attacks. Lets just say she's probably siding with Berkley in the whole Berkley vs. USMC. Doh that one just snuck in.

But back to my point, I read another article about this kid and the mom said that the dad is usually able to call home about once a week and most calls are dropped because of such a crappy connection. Having been the one at home waiting for a phone call I think wow, one phone call a week, not bad. But I also know that that one phone call isn't enough. I'm sure many of you are like me and during deployments or long TDY where communication is infrequent to say the least your cell phone goes everywhere with you. Really, cut the kid some slack. He said himself that he was going thru a rough time and needed to talk to his dad. God bless his father for being able to get a hold of him when he got the message from his wife that his son needed him. And to think that our deployed military can just pick up a phone and call home whenever and chit chat like you can in your car running errands is just ridiculous.

I don't think that being a military family qualifies us as special needs. Hardly. In fact I think my kids might grow up more well adjusted then quite a few civilian kids I know around here. But I do think that being a military family brings with it, just like many other things in life, a unique set of challenges. We are presented with the deployment and the separation, we try to find ways and solutions to make it easier on everyone, especially the kids left behind. I know for me it is a personal struggle within myself in which I wonder if we are asking too much of our children. Are we putting them thru to much, asking them to risk to much? For what, so flyboy can defend the freedom of people who don't even appreciated it and acknowledge all that our families go thru? I think, I hope that my children, will take from this life lessons in responsibility, a love for this country, a deep respect for those that serve in uniform, and sense that their father did not miss bits and pieces of them growing up for any other reason then it was a sense of duty that he had.


  1. Hi. I got here by way of Alicia at Right Wing Mom.

    First, I just wanted to say we are not a military family (my husband's a minister), but I wanted to let you know as a civilian family how much I agree with your post and your outrage. I just wanted to drop by and give you a word of encouragement. I cannot even imagine the pain of the separation for long periods of time and the danger that must be faced on a day to day basis. I do know that I am humbled and extremely grateful for that kind of commitment to serve and protect a country (full of strangers) who sometimes act as if they don't care.

    We care, and I say answer the darn phone!

    Please know how grateful OUR family is for not only your husband's sacrifice, but yours as well.

    God bless you all!
    ~Bronie from Team Victory

  2. Wow- that makes me mad too. I really don't understand why they couldn't just let the whole incident go and let the boy talk to his father!

    And no, military families aren't 'special need,' but they do have unique circumstances.


  3. Hello. Thanks for the advice on calling cards, I'll definitely look that up. Needless to say I'm looking forward to being back in the US so I will have a normal phone number that is cheap to call.

    I read that article yesterday when I was surfing the web bored out of my mind. I agree with everything that you said--you put it all so perfectly!

  4. I have avoided talking about that article specifically because I know I could NOT handle it gracefully...I would be taking some heads off...

    Most schools are BEGGING for parents to be involved in their children's really tweeks me that the school did that to a parent who WANTS to be involved in his son's life!!

  5. I have lots of "not so nice" things I could say about this. Kudos to the dad for being such a wonderful & compassionate father. What a shame of a story. This is the 1st I have heard of the story so I will have to look it up for myself and read into the details! Thanks for sharing it! HUGS!

  6. I wrote about three versions of this comment and had to erase it every time because I got witchy (I know, me, witchy? heh). I think you said it all very well. It is sad that some people feel the need to criticize someone for trying to be the best parent they can in a very difficult situation. I wouldn't say that military children should be looked at as special needs kids, but perhaps a little compassion would be nice. I am not trying to attack anybody, but this isn't like any other war--there's no rationing, no draft, nothing. The general public can go about their daily lives as unaffected by this as they want to be. That's fine; that's their right. But at least have some respect for those who ARE affected. Especially the children.

  7. People are so stupid sometimes...

  8. I saw this on Good Morning America yesterday and it got me really upset, too. I can't believe that in an area like Fort Hood that they were so uncompassionate, is that a word?? It is really disheartening. I agree with what Laura said about school wanting their parents involved and when one who wants to be, is doing so to the best of his ability, and the child is punished because of the method that was used. I think that it is really sad he was punished in such a way for that. Just really sad!

  9. Great post - and so tactfully handled (I would not have been so nice - guess its the redhead i me!)

    The complete ignorance of people simply amazes me sometimes. The two kind of people I can not stand... Liberals and Stupid people, oh wait... is that one in the same?

    Ok - I feel a rant myself coming on... so I will just back away nice and quietly..... before I get myself in trouble!

    Again, great post!


  10. For my part, I can't begin to address this with the kind of grace you were able to handle it with. Great post and thank you for saying all the things I couldn't.

  11. Grrr. That woman.

    I don't want my kids labeled in a way that will be harmful to them, and I blogged a while ago about my thoughts on "special needs".

    But just after I wrote up my thoughts I spent a couple of days helping at the middle school on post. That experience made me wonder if I was a little hasty in my thoughts.

    Those kids do have some special needs. And it seems like they need a little more support than they are getting. From someone. Maybe from the base, or the school, or maybe just the regular old super moms.

    They need stability. They need their dads.

  12. I'm not against them calling, but you also have to remember that if it is a high school in Killeen, that probaly 85% if not more of the kids are military. If they allowed that to happen all the time, the kids would be constantly taking phone calls from the parents and disrupting classes. I guess I see the point of letting them answer the phone, but I also see the point of not letting them too.

    The first two deployments to Iraq my husband was not in a situation where he could call with any frequency, but he still made it a point to write letters and I made sure that they wrote him too, even letters that they dictated to me, so that they could keep in touch with him.

    It's a fine line, but there has to be a point where you don't allow 20 people in a class to receive random phone calls throughout the day. Just my .02.

  13. When the Sergeant was in Basic Training, and also when he was in Iraq last time, I actually answered the phone in church a few times. I'd answer, and then wait until I was out of the sanctuary to actually talk into the phone. That communication is so necessary, and it's so infrequent that you take every second you can get, no matter when or where.

  14. I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to identify which kids had a parent in harm's way and allow them to answer calls from that parent and only that parent. It's pretty easy to check this. No, we are not "special needs" but we do have special circumstances that most of the country prefers not to know about.

  15. i'm with you leanne.

    when i was deployed in the Air Force, we were only allowed certain times when we could call and that was it. there was no debate ... and i was glad that i could when i could. and i know the TDY schedule on families and soldiers now is sooooo much harder and longer than when i was in. i feel for you and other families who are dealing with this now.

    God bless you, kathleen


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