Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I jinxed myself

There will be no dash-3. Last night I miscarried and flyboy and I are just trying to come to peace with it and what that means for us.

I am lucky to have been blessed with two very adorable, healthy, lively (at time too lively!) little boys. I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing husband who took off of work to just sit with me and stroke my hair as I cried. I am so very blessed to have such a loving family.

But it still hurts. I'm still angry and upset and heartbroken.

It hadn't been a planned pregnancy but we were still excited. We looked at our boys and we knew how lucky we were to get to bring another life into this world. I'm sure some think I went public too soon, however I felt safe, I had to pregnancies under my belt and had told about those early.

But it obviously wasn't meant to be. At least not right now.

Who knows when we'll try again. Maybe it will happen in the next few months, maybe with his schedule it will be a year or so off. What this has done is shown me that as overwhelmed as I may feel from time to time that a third child felt right.

The best medicine seems to be just taking all the free hugs and kisses offered up around here. To snuggle with my little ones and realize just what a miracle and a blessing having children is. To find comfort in the arms of my husband and the smile of my kids.

And while I have finally found something that entitles me to lay around in bed and do nothing while he takes care of the kids for me. (side note, cause there must be humor in here. did you know there are non cartoons on tv during the middle of the day?!) I hope this never happens again, once was enough.

44 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you are cherishing your boys, but I can't even imagine how heartbroken you must be. *hugs*

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  3. I'm so sorry! I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  4. oh friend i am so very sorry.

    i have been there. and i wish i had the words to make it better. it truly is not an easy place to be.

    surround your self with your boys and take care of you.

    xoxo

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  5. I'm so sorry- you're in my prayers.

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  6. ::hugs:: I am terribly sorry to read this. I was laughing about your initial post and the lack of time for dashes 1 and 2 to store up some common sense. I hope you and flyboy continue to enjoy their mischief and fun times while you readjust.

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  7. Well, damn. I'm sorry. I'm sending healing thoughts your way.

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  8. I'm so sorry! There are no words I can offer. All I can tell you is that you are in my prayers.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to image what you and your husband are going through right now. You are in my thoughts. Stay Strong.

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  10. Oh no...

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

    I'm praying for you!

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  11. I am so sorry to hear this. I could never pretend to understand, but I am praying for you. Enjoy Flyboy taking care of you and the kiddos and know that we are all supporting you and thinking of you!

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  12. It's not easy to find out something like that, but we'll all be praying for you... I know I will.

    I'm sorry for you guys. I really am.

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  13. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

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  14. So, so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, God has a plan.

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  15. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
    I'll keep you and Flyboy in my prayers.

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  16. I am so sorry. I am glad you have Dashes 1&2 to give you lots of mommy love right now. *hugs*

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Plenty of thoughts and prayers for you and your men (both big and little). Sending you many hugs too.

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  18. I'm so sorry for your loss! I won't pretend to know what that's like, but I hope you find comfort in your wonderful family!

    I don't think it's ever too soon to share a joy and an excitement - and there was nothing wrong with you doing so.

    You guys are in my prayers!

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  19. I'm so sorry for your loss. Many thoughts and prayers your way.

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  20. Thinking and praying for you in this trying time. I hope that you continue to find comfort and support in the arms of those you love and that you are able to truly enjoy this holiday weekend!!

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  21. Oh dear, I am so sorry. I haven't checked in on you in a couple of days, and now my heart is hurting for you. I have been down this road, and it is a true loss. One that you'll have to grieve....and one you deserve to grieve. If you want to chat more about it, send me an email. Hugs to you!

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  22. I'm sorry to hear this....I'll be keeping you in my prayers tonight...and for the next few weeks as you work through this pain.

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  23. You didn't jinx yourself.

    As much as we smiled with you, our hearts hurt for you; especially those who have been there.

    Hang in there, sister. We're carrying you in our thoughts and prayers.

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  24. I am so very sorry to hear this. From personal experience, I know it is heartbreaking. I am glad you had your family there to be with you even though I know this doesn't make things all better. I will be thinking about you.

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  25. I am so sorry to hear this. I really don't know what the right words to say are. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. And I am sending you big hugs.

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  26. I am very sorry for your loss.

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  27. I'm so sorry! Enjoy some snuggle time with the boys!

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  28. Oh, I'm soo sorry. Please call me if you need to talk.

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  29. I'm so sorry to hear this! I'll be thinking of you! Enjoy all those hugs and kisses!

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  30. im sooo sorry! i think its amazing that you now know that a 3rd child"feels right". my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband!

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  31. I am so so sorry to hear this. I am glad that Flyboy was able to be there to share in the grief. I can't even pretend to know how it feels, but I do know you are not alone in your grief. We are all here grieving with you. Take the time you need and don't rush the process. I'll be praying for you!

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  32. I'm sorry, Mrs.

    I wish I had something better to say than "I'm sorry." I'm praying for you.

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  33. Oh, I'm so sorry! I went thru the same thing between our 2 and even though it was early, it didn't hurt any less. And good on Flyboy for being there for you.

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  34. I am crying with you! As a mother I can really empathize with the pain you must be feeling right now. I hope that you will find peace during this time. The following Psalms & scripture have always been a comfort to me during difficult times. I hope they will be for you too!
    Ps. 27:14 " Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord."
    PS. 147:3-5 "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. He telleth the number of the stars and calleth them all by their names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: his Understanding is infinite."

    If he knows every star by name consider how much much more your pain & burden is of great importance and concern to him.

    Ps. 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble."

    I Corinthians 1:3 "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

    Words I am sure cannot express what your heart is going through right now but I pray you find Comfort and peace with in. I am sure that beautiful little one of yours is resting peacefully & perfectly right now in the arms of the Creator. Many prayers are going your way.

    Most Sincerely,
    Jessica

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  35. You are in my thoughts and prayers, all of you!

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  36. Oh...so sad. I'm sending cyber-hugs! I've been there twice, it's always hard and sad. I'm so very sorry...I'm thinking of you and praying for you. Hug those boys extra tight!

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  37. Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that! I miscarried the first time I got pregnant, and it's so sad when you get excited thinking about the little one on its way. Hug your boys and hang in there.

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  38. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Looks like you have a great family and a great group of friends that really care about you. Lots of hugs!

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  39. Oh, I'm so sorry. No words, just lots of prayers and hugs.

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  40. I'm sorry you guys are going through this but I'm sure having your family around is helping you; I'll be thinking of you.

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  41. I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts. (hugs)

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  42. I'm so sorry. Big hug and you're in my thoughts.

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