Friday, July 18, 2008

My issues

I am having some issues.

Mainly with two little ones. Adorable as they maybe, a certain little 3 1/2 year old and a 19 month old seem to be having some issues of their own in the listening department. It's bad enough that I have talked about getting their hearing checked. My father tried to delicately break it to me that they can indeed hear, they just cant listen.

I really am at my wits end lately. I am stressed out by the all over behavior. The boys and I have been down at my folks for about a week and both boys are so clingy its making me nuts. My mother keeps wanting me to go out and get some time alone but I hate to "dump" my kids on her. My goodness if they are stressing me out what would they do to a woman in her fifties?! The natives could grow restless and hog tie her.

So here I am with a built in babysitter for a few days and I cant even take advantage of that really well. Bitter betty and I were thinking about taking a day trip over to Quantico to hit the Exchange, pick up some cute Marine Corps shirts for the boys, uniform stuff for flyboy, and walk around Quantico town (they have some fantastic little stores over there) but I can't bring myself to ask my parents to keep the boys for that long. The boys would miss me and I would be imposing upon my parents.

I repeat. I have issues.

I need to learn to take a break or I'm going to drive myself crazier then I already am. I am feeding into it. They act out, I respond stressed, I grow more stressed. Quite the recipe.

I love my little darlings more then life. They are smart, and thats not just the mom in me talking. Dash-1 is already writing his name and knows his letters backwards and forwards, can name the planets, can tell you what friction is. Dash-2 is already starting to get his colors down and a couple of letters. But they are a serious handful. Boys boys to say the least. Go go go nonstop, rough and tumble, I've said this before, I blame my husband and his manly genes for that. Certainly didn't come from me.

My mother keeps trying to tell me that my kids are great kids who are just both in "that" stage. Apparently its the not listening stage, lucky me. My father assures me that when they are in high school I'll be begging for these days to come back. He's probably right. But I just feel like I should be able to control them better. And I should right? Does everyone occasionally look at their kids and wonder what's happen to the adorable perfect baby they brought home from the hospital? Or is this just one more check in the crappy mom category.

I need to go get some Motrin. The smallest dash head butted me this morning and my head is throbbing. I know. Head butted me. Sigh. Aren't you guys glad your not in a playgroup with us? (actually an interesting little tidbit, they are both really good with other kids, who would have thunk it).

14 comments:

  1. Leave them with your mom. You know rule number one of anything is if someone offers to help, take it. Has being a military wife not taught you anything? Well, not of anything, but go on and have a fantabuloso time. Chances are they'll be better for your parents than they are for you. Fabul-O is. 96.23% of the time. (If you've ever wondered where my blog name came from, this is kind of it - I give good advice, but have a hard time following it) Oh, if you and BB drive about another 9 hours south, we'll have lunch. My treat. :)

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  2. I don't have any advice on the parenting thing, but have one suggestion. What if you do a sort of "dry run" with your mom? Go somewhere close by for an hour or two and bring your phone. Let her know that if there's trouble, to call you and you'll come back. You can even define your idea of trouble if you're concerned that your mom will take a lot of crap from them. If that goes OK, then I'd say do the Quantico trip. You sound like you need a little time to yourself.

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  3. I agree with the others, take a dry run if you want and I'm sure the boys will behave much better for your parents than they do for you.
    The break will be good for all of you. You need to recharge. I know, admitting to your own mother that you need a break can be tough. It is for me, because of course she never needed a break from us... but back then they had those "mother's little helpers" pills, but I digress...
    Whenever I think one of my children have hearing problems, I do the "cookie hearing test", you know, whisper "do you want a cookie?' when you are steps behind them. They'll hear that. It's worked every time.
    As for the perfect little babies that you brought home... that is in the design, so you're too attached to them by the time they get to this stage to give up :)
    I've been head-butted before by E3. Ouch!

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  4. As clingy as they seem to you, they could probably use some time away from you just as much as you need some time away from them. And you wouldn't be "dumping" them on your mom. It sounds like she's asking you to let her have some time with them while you get some time to yourself.

    A dry run isn't a bad idea. But then go to Quantico. And don't feel guilty. Everyone will not only be fine, but better for it.

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  5. Some time away from them would probably do wonders for you all. Your mom sounds like she's willing to put up with their shenanigans :)

    Keenan has issues with the listening too. He gets so wrapped up in what he's doing that he gets a little crazy, depending on how wound up he is. But sometimes, he just gets stubborn - I have no idea where he got that particular character trait (ha ha) and if he doesn't want to do something, then he just ignores me.

    Go - you have a built-in babysitter for a few hours. Go go go go. You'll come back with a fresh outlook and less stress. :) Go :)
    Callee

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  6. I second the idea you should leave them with your mom. She offered so you shouldn't feel bad.

    You need some adult time for yourself. I think your kids sound adorable......an adorable, intelligent handful, but seriously take a break for yourself. You deserve it!

    Especially after that headbutt!

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  7. Definitely go!

    Your boys will more than likey be angels for their grandparents. And probably have a blast!

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  8. I'm sure your mom is offering because she wants to spend time with them. (I so wish my MIL lived near us; my problem with babysitters is that I'm never sure if they are offering to take my kids because they feel pity for me or if they actually want to have them around.)And I can guarantee they will be little angels with your parents; my boys ALWAYS do this to me! I get all these fabulous reports of how Wyatt will sit and play with toys for HOURS while he's anywhere else. Me? I get the boy how can't manage to play more than three steps away from me and after ten minutes is, once again, begging me to "play with me, Mama!"

    So don't feel guilty! If she never offers again, you'll know it went bad, but I'll bet it will all go great. And you will feel a lot more ready to deal with them when you return. So, go, go, GO!! (Can you tell I've totally been in your shoes?!)

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  9. Oh, I hope you can get a break!!

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  10. Girl - you know I can relate! I think my "boy" boy and your should get together. Lets throw them in a deep pit and they can wrestle and head-butt each other till the cows come home. Me and you? We can go grab a beer ( or whatever) and breath a deep sigh of relief!

    Leave them with your Mom. Here is my take - She is not stupid. She sees how they are. This isn't her first time around the block, you know? She has raised a child. Leave them with her and go have a good time. Do not for one minute feel guilty! Those are her grandbabies and even if they drive her nuts for that day, she can deal! She wants to do this, take advantage. You are lucky :) My in-laws live only 2 hours away and they have only seen Emma ( who is now 7 1/2 months old) ONCE. Yep, ONCE! Be happy and go have some fun - sans boys :)

    Alicia

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  11. sweetie ~ let yourself have a break. they will survive and probably enjoy, too, maybe not at first but it will be okay. and it will probably do you some good.

    hey, i totally smiled when i thought at first that i read you and your friend were going to go pick up some cute marines! hahaha. i did a double take and went right back over what i just read. makes a big difference when i leave out a critical word. hehe.

    take care girl, kathleenybeany :)

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  12. I used to hate leaving my kids with my mom because I felt like I was imposing on her and my dad. After a particularly long day with them, I said "Screw this! I am going out!" And I am very glad I did. You should go and enjoy time with yourself.

    I even learned how to see movies alone and now I love it! Time alone with just ME! :)

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  13. top this with one melted mint in the washer for complete meltdown status :)
    I'm always here to listen my love :)

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  14. Too bad you weren't closer to me, we could throw them all in a room together and watch them all not listen together. :)

    Take a break if you can. My kids often behave much better for others. They get bored with me as they see me every day. Even if we are doing school-type activities, arts and crafts or outings, they still get "bored" and cranky as a result. It's in their composition. Kids are just that way. Don't think it has anything to do with you as a parent.

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