Thursday, March 4, 2010

speak up or weenie on?

Hello my name is the mrs. and I don't have a backbone.

{hello the mrs.}

I need some help for this problem, this problem being speaking up for myself. I know some of you maybe shocked by this. You're probably thinking but she seems so opinionated, how could she possibly ever be a weenie.

Easy.

I'm a weenie.

Here's the recent event that I'd like to put forth to you.

The other day flyboy was off of work so I went to get a haircut. I went ALONE. Not one child with me. {I took dash-3 with me to get my eyebrows done the week prior}. That's a helluva feat for a breastfeeding momma.

Anyways, the woman who cuts my hair has the set up at her house to do hair, she charges a great rate, and the first time she cut my hair I loved the cut. This time however, I went to get it done, her daughter was alllll over me. In fact for most of the cut she was sitting on my lap trying to brush my hair.

{total sidenote here, its like when you go to someone's house and their dog spends all night trying to hump your leg why do they try to make you less uncomfortable by saying "Oh he must really like you, he never does this to other people, but you, you must be special." As rather then feeling horribly awkward you'll feel really honored.}

Anyways, the mom asked a couple times if it bothered me and I don't know why I didn't just speak up and say, "well this is my alone time, would you mind not having her on me?".

Oh yeah, cause I'm a weenie.

At one point while she was cutting my hair her daughter was combing over the parts her mom was trying to cut, I did say something about being nervous that I'd have a huge uneven part, of course while nervously laughing {I'm wayyyyyy guilty of being a nervous laugher}.

When I did my hair today, it does seem as if some of the front is uneven but who am I to know these things.

Oh and then there was the part when she was chewing goldfish with her mouth open in my face. Close enough to smell them. Yummy.

But why didn't I say anything? I realize to her defense, she can't read my mind and if I don't say anything, well then, it might not change. Although to my defense, I am paying her {and tipping} for this service.

Sometimes I'm jealous of those people that can speak his mind about anything and everything, to anyone. You know the type, they blaze thru life taking no prisoners. It's impressive, in a scary sorta way. {I may or may not have a few of those in my family on either side}

So I'm curious.... are you a weenie like me? Do you speak up or do you just hold it in {holding it in with the exception of blogging about it of course} and then kick yourself later for not saying anything.

32 comments:

  1. I def. speak up!! Sometimes it is a curse and sometimes a blessing. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a weenie. But I've more or less mastered the art of "the death glare." It works wonders.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OH GROSS!!! I would do exactly the same thing you did. When J cuts my hair (little gal you and I go to in Md) I can't even muster up the stugots to tell her to quit cutting it so short!!!

    That sucks. I guess I operate under the notion that I wouldn't let my child or dog be all over a guest regardless because the age old: treat others the way you want to be treated..I don't like it when it's done to me so even if the person verbally confesses they don't mind..they probably DO or WILL.

    That just sucks my love. Esp. the goldfish bit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For the most part I'm a weenie when I feel like I "like" the person. If it's random and I feel no attachment or like then I will 50/50 say something. I get real real proud of myself when I do stand up for myself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I speak up. Maybe not in an authoritative manner, but when it comes to alone time/hair cuts I speak up. The goldfish part totally grossed me out...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am a weenie. But I do things trying to make them look like I am being nice even though inside I am cursing at them. I would have just put the kid down and said "ok honey run along now" or "you know I really love goldfish, but not after they are already in your mouth!"
    My SIL is 8 years old, and a pain in the ass. She is the youngest of 4, and there is 20 years between her and her siblings... so she is spoiled and has no boundaries and thinks she is the center of all our worlds. Well, she ain't the center of mine. I have to pull little sayings like that all the time when at my in-laws.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Total weenie/pushover here! But, my face does tend to give away almost everything I'm feeling/thinking. So, I'd probably have the stink eye going! Oh, and I'm definitely a nervous laugher, too!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm a weenie too. I've hated my hair more than once as I was still sitting in the salon (like HATED it, to the point that I cried over it for days afterwards) and yet I still tip every time and have never complained. The one and only time I ever did was when a lady dyed my eyebrows BLACK right before my baby shower. It was horrible. But all she did was argue with me, saying that eyebrows should be darker than your hair. Well. I asked you to lighten them, not turn me into Burt from Sesame Street. And what did I do in the end? I went to an different salon the next day to have them fixed and payed for it a second time, rather than hold my ground with the original stylist.

    So yeah...I'm not much help.

    ReplyDelete
  9. i'm a weenie. i never say no. unless its my kids. my hubby hates when i agree to do something and i really dont want to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am a definite weenie. You aren't alone.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You and me both. Is there a group for that?

    ReplyDelete
  12. semi-weenie. the only time i ever said anything to the person, right then and there, was when a man closed my own car door on me when i was strapping in my child in his car seat. the jerk closed MY door on my leg "bc i didn't have enough sense to do it myself"....EXCUSE ME??!!! I was ensuring the safety of my child! that was it; i was pi**ed. but, sadly, i have been upset many other times and never said anything aloud. i wish i could. i think we all should make a resolution to start.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Im a total weenie. THis has been my 'lifestyle change' to work on as the New Year rolls around the past two years, to speak up for myself. If I feel Im getting charged the wrong price, unless its a drastic price, I wont say anything, if someone is rude to me or hurts my feelings, my mouth is zipped, but I still fume about it. I have gotten better, but like you, I envy the people that have a backbone.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmmm, I sense a trend, are bloggers mostly weenies at heart? Because I certainly am one too. Sometimes I can be fairly assertive with kids, though, particularly if their parents are clueless (as this girl's was, I mean really? I don't care if it's at your home, climbing all over someone, much less a paying client? Not ok in my house), but I don't know quite what I would have done in your situation. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It depends on the situation but I think in that one I wouldn't have been able to not say something. I always freak out about my hair so I would have panicked and said something.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm a weenie most of the time. But every once in awhile, I will speak up and complain.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am a massive weenie! Unfortunately I care too much what people think and hate making others feel uncomfortable... I'm a work in progress! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I used to be a huge weenie, but I've become much more assertive since becoming a mom. It's ok to speak up, just try to be tactful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. oh. my. gosh. Crazy!

    occasionally I'm a weenie. But usually I speak my mind. It's kind fun actually.. but I'm not going to lie. It does piss a lot of people off.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Pretty much a chicken--it's hard creating uncomfortable situations! I"m sorry your alone time totally got hijacked =(.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ugh,that is super annoying. I think it's completely unprofessional of her to let her child distract her customers like that.

    Like you, I probably would not have said anything, but if this was a continous problem, I would stop going to her.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm a weenie. Personally, I think in situations like this people should know better and you shouldn't have to speak up. Like your hairdresser should know better than to have her daughter crawling all over a client.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Total push over here! Go ahead, poke my eyes out - really, it's okay.

    I will stand up for my kids, hubby and parents though. It's a Momma Bear reaction. Maybe it's because there is nothing intimidating about that 3 year old bully...

    I have started to make random comments to my sons when we're in public and people are just rude. Like when people cut in line I just tell him "We always wait patiently for our turns. Even when other people don't follow the rules." I guess I'm a bit passive aggressive.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I would have probably just acted really annoyed until she did something about it. If she never did anything about it, she wouldn't have gotten that big of a tip.
    I can be a weenie about some things, but when I'm spending money for it, no weenie here.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm a weenie, but i'm learning to speak up. The more I know someone the harder it is though.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am more likely to speak up for myself, but I have a few weinie-ish tendencies sometimes.

    The part about the goldfish turned my stomach a little too, haha. I probably would have been very obviously annoyed, especially if the daughter was messing up my haircut.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This so surprises me about you! With all of the sassy conversations we have had, I can't believe you don't speak up. Uh oh, now I'm wondering about your blog design...

    ReplyDelete
  28. I pick and choose my battles:) I'm a really easy going person, most of the time, but that would have gotten on my nerves had I been paying and tiping! I would have said something, but, thankfully I have the skillful art of the silver tongue...Got that little gem from my da:p So even though I'm speaking up, I do it in a way that is, MOST OF THE TIME, not offensive:)Would I lable myself a winnie??? Yeah:) Because I still care whether or not I offend by speaking up!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Tried, and true weenie here! =)

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm definitely a weenie. But here's where I defend you... the woman is a professional and should act like one. If she runs her business from her house she needs to look at her daughter and tell her that it's not the time to play. And why didn't she say anything to her while she while the daughter was brushing parts of your hair she was cutting?

    When we changed our minds about the apartment to the house this weekend, I didn't even want to go into the apartment office to ask for our money back and forget about it. The woman was so nice. They were even going to paint the apartment for us so I didn't have to worry about fumes when we moved in. I couldn't face her!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I speak up. Usually. Probably to the point where when Greg sees "that look" on my face, he backs away because he knows I'm about to rip into somebody.

    About the kid, though, I probably wouldn't have said anything at the time. From then on, though, I would either say something to her mother about wanting to have some "grown up" time, or not allow the kid in my lap again. Maybe you could find out when the kid is going to be napping/at school/not around, and plan your appointments for that time instead.

    ReplyDelete

I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.