Wednesday, March 24, 2010


If you were to follow me around today these were just some of the little gems you would have overheard....

me "bubba {my affectionate nickname for dash-1} go toss that in the trash for me please."

dash-1 "I have to do everything around here, why does everyone always ask me to do everything."

me "Really? Really bubba? What do you have to do around here?"

dash-1, his face and voice just dripping with utter indignation for asking, "you people make me wipe my own butt after I poop!"

Really, the nerve of us.

Another dash-1 story, after all he was in rare form today, he got in a bit of trouble while we were waiting in line at S*m's Club so he got upset with me for getting upset with him. Sometimes when he gets upset with me and pushes my buttons, I decide that its more fun to push his buttons back.

I know, mother of the year I am.

dash-1 "I am not speaking to you anymore."

me "You're speaking to me right now dash-1."

dash-1 "well this is it."

me "Ok dash-1, but you're still talking to me."

dash-1 "This is now it. And don't say my name anymore."

me "Ok dash-1, I'll just call you Rufus. Hey Rufus look over there. Oh wait, Rufus what do you want for dinner tonight. Rufus, that's a nice name."

dash-1, stewing "don't. call. me. Rufus."

me "What was that Rufus?"

Again mother of the year, right here.

And finally, yet another dash-1 gem, because it really was a banner day for him.

As we are leaving said warehouse store he's trailing behind me when he pops out with this,

dash -1 "How bout if I behave you buy me a toy?"

me "How bout I let you live rent free in my house for the next 13 years?"

Silence. Beautiful silence.

And that my friends, is a slam dunk mommy style.

Mama done shut you down Rufus.


  1. that's so great!

  2. OK, if I ever have kids, I wanna be you ... seriously.
    Love the stories :-)

  3. Im taking parenting notes over here. Really, I am. If only I could use this stuff in the classroom!

  4. that is a hoot!!! I love all the sarcasm. Did you enjoy your 87 cent soda?

  5. Adorable! I read them to DH and he is laughing so hard.

  6. Awesome! Nice work! I love those moments when you just zing them!

  7. Hilarious!! I aspire to be that kind of mommy... I'm fairly certain it's in my DNA, but just in case I'll keep reading your blog for ideas ;)

  8. Aahhhahahahaa... Brilliant! You totally ARE the mommy of the year in my books! :)

  9. So sounds like me with my 4 1/2 year old! OH MY!! I do believe that she and dash 1 would get along so well together!

  10. That is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. What? He has to wipe his own butt? How cruel you are!

  12. Hahaha I love Dash-1 stories! They seriously make my day so much better! And I hope to be as witty as you once the kids start coming... love your slam dunk! :)

  13. I'm taking notes for when we have kids. That was Great! I'd vote for you for mom of the year.

  14. You are my role model. I'm so sick of hearing joyless parents complain about how tough it is (not that I don't doubt it). It's so refreshing that you're able to just turn annoying kid behaviors into fun for yourself. High five.

  15. LOL I guarantee thats exactly how I'm going to be.

  16. You are SOOOO the mommy of the year...because mommy of the year can take it in stride...she can dish it out as well!

    you're my new hero!

  17. hahahahah tooo hilarious!! I lOVE it!

  18. I was laughing really hard at this! Good stuff.

  19. HAHA the wiping his own butt is SO freaking funny!

    Is it bad that that whole "messing" with kids at young ages is hilarious because they don't really get it at times....

  20. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!! I love the wiping his own butt comment!

  21. Nice. That's awesome! I love the "wipe my own butt" comment. hahaha!

  22. lol, that was amazing. I read it to my hubby, he cracked UP about "wiping his".. well, you know. :)


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