Saturday, November 21, 2009

A life lesson at the playground

My heart got hurt a little today. Hurt in that mama bear wounded cub sorta way. A way that sadly I am well aware I will experience many times over during this whole journey of motherhood thing.

I'm aware that what happened wasn't some big giant deal, hardly life or death but still...

it sucked.

It happened at the playground, and might I add this is just one more check in the "yucky things about playground" list I'm keeping in my head. Little dash-2 has started some kind of stuttering of sorts. I've noticed it over the last week and I will admit, I noticed it and was hoping it would miraculously go away like dash-3's baby acne.

{By the by whoever nominates me for mom of the year make sure you include that on my application "Ignored child's stuttering hoping he would fix it himself."}

I'm hoping its just a toddler type of thing, I've done some googling and it seems that this can be normal for kids, simply put their minds don't go as fast as their mouths. And clearly if he's going to take after his older brother this will probably be resolved.

But another reason I kinda put my head in the sand was that I knew, inevitably, what happened at the park would happen eventually and to quote myself from the top.... that sucks.

Today my adorable little dash-2 got made fun of.

He was standing on the play set at the park and he was trying to say "who goes there" all he could get out was "who-who-who-who". And then some older kid, probably 7 or 8 years old starts laughing at him and mimicking him saying "who-who-who, ha did you hear that kid?".

I think my heart stopped beating for a minute.

And then I did what any good mom would do seeing her kid ridiculed by another kid for the first time, I left the park.

I know I probably should have handled that differently, but honestly short of bursting into tears while rocking dash-2 back and forth blubbering that I would shield him for life {which since he was totally unaware that this was going on probably would have freaked him out} or going over and slugging the kid {which again not really an option since that sort of thing is frowned upon in our civilized society} I thought that was my best bet.

My kids tease each other, the jabs about who's a baby or the occasional butt head comment get passed back and forth but this was different.

There are times I wish I could protect my kids from everything, not have to explain the nasty stuff in life. Why some people don't like people of a different color, why a kid in a wheelchair is being stared at, why how someone talks is worth laughing at, and please, don't even get me started on the whole war/bomb discussion, I'm clueless on that one.

But I can't.

I can't protect them and shield them from the nastiness and even if I could I wouldn't be doing my job. My job is to teach them how to deal with it, to show them how to brace themselves for the inevitable blows and to pick themselves up and move on.

Even if that means that as a mama I have to feel the hurt, their hurt, along the way.

And most importantly I have to teach them and model for them not to be one of those nasty people who picks and preys on those who are different or weaker.

I want to raise great kids. Nice well behaved kids who don't run in the commissary and who never growl at people {dash -2 is going thru a bit of a growling stage a side effect of being a dinosaur for Halloween, we're working on it} but I'm amending that and adding to it that I want to raise great kids, who treat others with respect, who don't bully or laugh at other kids.

And who growl but not maliciously.

And God help them if they do, they will feel the wrath of this mama bear.

Dont forget to sign up for the ornament exchange!

19 comments:

  1. Give dash2 a hug for me. Don't tell him why. And take one for yourself.

    He'll probably grow out of it. And if not, there is always speech therapy. And it does suck that we can't protect them from everything we want to.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh poor thing :( Kids can be so mean. My son is just 5 and is behind in his speech and I know this has and will happen to him :(

    My dad stuttered a little as a kid and he was able to outgrow it and is now a teacher :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Judah stutters too. It started about 2 months ago... I haven't dealt with it yet. I figured that I would wait until Daniel got back home and then we can discuss if we want to do anything about it or just give it some time.

    I would have said something to the kid... nobody picks on my children without some sort of retribution! I'm mean like that! :)

    -Andrea

    ReplyDelete
  4. Give yourself a great big hug! I would have gone over and told that older boy to grow up, and that making fun of a 2 year old isn't funny. But I'm also the Mom that yelled at some older kids for throwing rocks at each other in the toddler park near my son and a few other kids...

    I'm sure he'll grow out of it, and you are raising some pretty great kids.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your right, the only thing you can do is raise children that aren't like that mean kid!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. First can I say that my daughter started stuttering all of a sudden when she was three. She would get stuck on a word and get so mad if we said it for her. And it DID fix itself. It only lasted about 5 or 6 months.

    And I hear ya about the getting teased thing. Lately my son who is in kindergarten has been coming home telling me so and so was mean to him or so and so called him a name. I feel so bad about it but really what can I do. I always tell my kids when they get teased that the other kid is just jealous... lol.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, reading this is making my heart hurt- for you and for him.

    I had something similar happen here today. My boys were playing in our backyard when some older neighborhood kids wandered over. My 2 were so excited running up to them asking if they wanted to play (they've sort of hung out within larger groups before to play), but the older 2 asked where another of the neighbor kids was and when my 2 didn't know they were all like "yeah, we don't want to hang out then. We just wanted to know where Brandon was." And they walked off. Dillon and Nathan just sort of stood there not knowing what to make of it and I was sure I might just cry for them.

    Luckily they got over it much faster than I did.

    Maybe it's not too late to put them in a bubble away from the outside world?? This whole motherhood thing is just too hard sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ugh, I wince every time I see Wyatt play with another kid. Not because he has an issue or behaves weirdly, but because he's his own person and, like anyone, doesn't do everything exactly like the other kids. So, sometimes it doesn't jive.

    I'm with you on teaching them to not be like the mean kids. I think that is really the best thing I can give them. It's so true that almost always, you can follow the rude kid to an equally rude parent.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is hard, as a parent, to hear your child getting made fun of.

    Charlie has a lot of speech issues and just doesn't really talk very much around kids, especially when they are older. When at the library a few weeks ago, a kid asked me if he was a "retard" because he was talking to him and Charlie wouldn't answer back. It broke my heart and I DID cry.

    Hugs all around from me too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fantastic post. Thanks for sharing. It must have hurt to hear, and I don't blame you for leaving.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awww.. Poor dear.
    I commend your reaction..I would have done the same thing. My mom would have slugged the kid and the kids mother and I would have been mortified.
    You're a great momma :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awww. I don't even know what I will do when Cookie gets made fun of. Probably cry more than she does. The thought of someone hurting your baby is just heartbreaking.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awww I just got all upset for you!! Kids are mean :(

    ReplyDelete
  14. that totally just sucked. I know the feeling...my son has a speech impediment and sounds like Boston Upper Society on steroids. The kids teased him mercilessly. He went to speech therapy during preschool...and the kids teased him mercilessly. I couldn't do anything for him, because I didn't catch it. But when I DID hear someone teasing him, I simply said to the teasers, "that's mean, and I don't tolerate it. Apologize now." Didn't care if the moms were around. And then, I told my son that they're just being mean because they weren't taught right from wrong...again, didn't care if the moms were around.

    Yeah...judgemental me. But it set the point bluntly to the parents that they need to teach their kids to be sensitive to others. Especially kids who ought to KNOW better, like the big kids you were describing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Umm... negative. You did a great job, BUT you forgot to verbally slug that kid, first. Or at least mock him equally for being pig-brained.

    Wait... did I type that? No... not lil' ole me!

    *blank stare*

    Seriously... what is wrong with kids these days?!

    ReplyDelete
  16. PS: my understanding ov working with a child that stutters is that you act like nothign is happening. Normal facial expression, and everything - and you wait patiently for them to figure it out for themselves. It eventually works out.

    That's what we have to do with my hubby's much younger brother. He's 6(?) now, and doing SOOO well! His lasted about a year, or so, when he was... 3? 4?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I liked what Linda said to do -- though I think I would've done what you did, and just left. I know I'm going to react badly to my kids being teased because I still have bad memories of being teased myself.. yuck. You're right though, gotta take the good w/ the bad as a mama...

    Family story about stuttering. My brother was 5ish, my sister was 3ish -- she started stuttering. My parents started enforcing taking turns when talking, because they felt that she was kind of creating a "placeholder" for herself to talk, since my brother was older and interrupted her so much. Hope that made sense? Anyway, just something I thought I would mention. I think it sounds like something that he will grow out of.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Kids are mean and they don't even understand how bad it is. What's worse is when they become teenagers and they do with with malicious intent and full understanding of how much words can hurt.

    ReplyDelete

I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.