Saturday, March 28, 2009

Today just was...

We all have days like this. Days where you feel like you just keep "missing" your spouse, like you just can't seem to connect. Days like this especially suck when you are already apart.

Sure we've talked twice today but it seems like either one or both of us has just been off. Back in the dating days this would have caused me endless worry and fretting. My mind would have wondered and been thinking of all the possibilities of what could have been the cause.

Maybe he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he's finally tired of me. ACK! Maybe this is it.

I don't think like that anymore. Yes, it is annoying. It's 11:17pm and I'm tired, it's far past my bedtime and I'm here thinking about how I wish our conversations had gone.

I'm wishing we would have "flowed" better today, I wish we were together rather then playing hit and miss when we are already apart. But I know its just today.

Tomorrow will be different. We've been here before. His hours and schedule get to him, us not being together and existing separately got the better of us today. Today we were two people leading different lives. It's ok. We'll do better tomorrow.

But I also know, we'll have days like this again. It's a by product of our environment and no matter how hard we try, these days will sneak in. I'm not sure if its a case of no ones fault or both our faults. But either way, I get it now, I can stand back and see it for what it is. And as much as it still annoys me, it doesn't break me.

It was just one of those days. Delightful in other ways, but lacking in this one. But like I said, we'll do better tomorrow.

22 comments:

  1. So glad I'm no longer doing the dating game... I used to let my mind go "there" too. Marriage surely has it's own set of challenges, but it's nice to be able to banish some of the insecurity/worry about "is this going to last". :)

    Hope you two get some better connections tomorrow. :)

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  2. Suck. I know exactly how you feel. When Greg was TAD we'd go through this too. The same conversations in person would be so different, too. I hate that. In a way, I'm relieved that when Greg goes, I can't call him--for exactly that reason.

    I know you'll both do better tomorrow.

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  3. Good. Bad. Marriage outlasts it all.

    This is just one off day out of a lifetime together. Ditto loqui and IG.

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  4. I promise tomorrow will be better my love, today was just an incredibly busy day. I love and miss you and the dash's more than you know.

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  5. What a sweet husband you have. That message was so cute!

    We've been "off" lately too. Work, taxes, the weather. Yuck. It's like it has all just added up to blah. We are anxious to get away.

    Hope tomorrow is better!

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  6. Been there... in fact, we are there now. It doesn't surprise me when it happens these days, but there are days that I still go "there" with it. Mostly because we have been off since he went back after R&R. I know it is probably both of us distancing ourselves so we can get back into our old routine, but I'm ready to have a good conversation again.

    He left you an incredibly sweet message! And it really is great to know that these off days aren't the end. They are just a little hiccup that is going to help the marriage grow into something bigger and better! Keep your chin up! Tomorrow (today) will be better!

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  7. It does pull you down when those days happen. Sometimes we try so hard to connect with those important and it seems that it just doesn't happen. But without those days, I don't know if we'd value those days when everything connections perfectly.

    Would it help if I told you last time I had a day like this with my husband I accidently gave him a black eye with my elbow? Connecting can be really rough.

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  8. I know that feeling, and like you, I know this too shall pass. I wish I'd read this post a few years ago, though, when I was still freaking out about it!

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  9. we do this. and it sucks.

    hoping tomorrow is sunshine and unicorns :)

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  10. Award/Tag for you on my blog! :)

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  11. I'm sorry I hope you get to talk tomorrow

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  12. We have days like that too.
    What a sweet message he left for you.

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  13. yuck, i remember dating and all those wicked feelings of uncertainty. i don't feel that way with matt though-- he's dependable and i'm sure about his commitment so even when we fight or something isn't right between us, i'm still confident that he loves me (or will tomorrow, at any rate)

    :]

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  14. Sorry you had a crappy day :(
    You can always call me late if you need to just vent or talk.
    I am a late owl, you know this.
    My childlessness allows me to swing from light fixtures and have wild parties!
    Wooohooo, ha ha.
    I laugh because I am usually parked on the couch watching reruns of SNL or Roseanne on a Saturday :)

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  15. I'm hoping you got a better connection the next day.

    Thanks for posting about this; we've experienced the same thing so many times, and its always reassuring to find that other people struggle with it too...and to have a reminder that tomorrow is nearly always different.

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  16. I think there are days like that even when you're both home in the same place. I'm sure they're much more difficult when you're far away......hopefully all is well in "Dashville" already ;)
    PS - your word verification was "preppi" - kind of funny after just reading your PJ post!!!

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  17. You so summed up exactly what I was feeling on Saturday. I was reading and just nodding away. You are right, that "flow" is usually there and every so often, isn't. Annoying at best. Thank you for saying it for all of us.

    PS Yep, Mr Anon is pretty good, you did well in the picking :)

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  18. Those days are poopy (as if you didn't have enough of those, right?). You voiced what I've thought a lot. I am finally realizing, that marriage and relationships go through ups and downs. Sometimes you just have to ride the wave. I'm glad you get it.

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  20. OH MY GOODNESS OK, I actually have tears from reading this! I have so many times felt this EXACT same way. It is like two different lives and somehow they have to merge back together. I honestly thought I was the ONLY person who felt this way and that I was Abnormal. I have always kept these feelings to myself. WOW! Not to sound negative or narcissistic but that was actually very "refreshing" to hear that I am not the only person that has these feelings. I much love that feeling of "connection" much better it makes me feel complete. We all have those ups and downs it is just part of life. Here is a positive perspective (being the pollyanna that I am) "Life wouldn't have it's WONDERFUL ups without it's Downs." Keep your chin up! Military life is difficult but love will always prevail any circumstance! HUGS!

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