We all have days like this. Days where you feel like you just keep "missing" your spouse, like you just can't seem to connect. Days like this especially suck when you are already apart.
Sure we've talked twice today but it seems like either one or both of us has just been off. Back in the dating days this would have caused me endless worry and fretting. My mind would have wondered and been thinking of all the possibilities of what could have been the cause.
Maybe he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he's finally tired of me. ACK! Maybe this is it.
I don't think like that anymore. Yes, it is annoying. It's 11:17pm and I'm tired, it's far past my bedtime and I'm here thinking about how I wish our conversations had gone.
I'm wishing we would have "flowed" better today, I wish we were together rather then playing hit and miss when we are already apart. But I know its just today.
Tomorrow will be different. We've been here before. His hours and schedule get to him, us not being together and existing separately got the better of us today. Today we were two people leading different lives. It's ok. We'll do better tomorrow.
But I also know, we'll have days like this again. It's a by product of our environment and no matter how hard we try, these days will sneak in. I'm not sure if its a case of no ones fault or both our faults. But either way, I get it now, I can stand back and see it for what it is. And as much as it still annoys me, it doesn't break me.
It was just one of those days. Delightful in other ways, but lacking in this one. But like I said, we'll do better tomorrow.
NYC Financial District
18 hours ago