I'm going to share enough real post of parenting with you all, other wise known round these parts as an honest mommy moment.
I could just leave it there. That says more then you think it does.
When your pregnant you rub your belly and dream of what they will be like. When they are mere babes you pat their little backs, smoothing our the wrinkles in their onesies, bouncing them up and down on your shoulder whispering in their ears all the things they will do.
I'm guilty of this. Flyboy is guilty of this. Who isn't?
And if you say well I've never done it, I must toss down the bull shit flag, I think its human nature.
But. There is always a but in life. We have to accept them for who they are if they are just a little bit different then we thought they would be. Or should be.
I love my little dash-1. He's been through some rough times lately. And I will admit, its hard sometimes to remember to just accept him for who he is.
He's my first baby, the one that made me a mommy, the one that taught me how to love with the very whole of my being. Him and I have learned a lot together.
When he was learning to hold his head up and eat baby food I was learning to be a mom.
When he was learning to walk, I was still learning to be a mom.
With everyone of his first, be it the start of elementary school, learning to drive, his first date, I'll still be learning to be a mom.
And the most important part of parenting is learning how to love them for who they are.
Dash-1 is the one who test me. Dash-2 can be a little weird too, I mean he does like to wear his underwear backwards. But I will admit in the past several months there have been times when I looked at my firstborn and wondered if I could change him.
Why can't we mold our kids to be what we had thought they would be? What we think will make life easier for them?
I mean we are given these little beings and told that they are ours to mold and shape. Why can't we?
No really, just because. I don't have all the answers here. But I'll give you my theory.
My theory is that its our job to teach them, to mold and shape to be good decent people and thats where the molding and shaping ends. Obviously some parents tried their damnedest and failed or just phoned in and well, they keep the news people in business, but for the rest of us that's it.
We get to give them our DNA. They have my eyes, flyboy's head shape, my smile, his nose, his build, my humor, his smarts, we give them that kinda stuff. We teach them to say please and thank you, to hold open doors, to treat all as equals, to be kind and humble, to take loss with dignity and to win with grace. But in a way it ends there.
It's hard to realize that at some point you have to let them be. Quirks and all, they are at the end of the day, not an extension of myself or flyboy, but their own person. To be loved, respected, appreciated.
Wanna know who taught me this? My mom.
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