Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Honest mommy moment

There is something different around here lately. There is a change in the air and I'm not talking about a poopy diaper needing to be changed. Although there are plenty of those.

I hate to think that it's taken me almost five years of motherhood to catch on but lately I'm feeling like a different sort of mom. Shoot I still think there are plenty of times that I'm "that mom" and my kids are "those kids" but the thing is....

I don't care.

Yeah that's it, I'm putting it out there, I don't so much care anymore what on lookers think.

Here's my honest mommy moment. I can't control my kids. Or rather I can't always control my kids.

I know there are people thinking, "your the mom of course you can control them" and to you I say HA! And I have a lovely bridge I'd like to sell you.

Kids will be kids, they will throw tantrums in stores or in the parking lot of school during pickup time (not that that happened to me today or anything), they will embarrass you, mortify you, confuse you, hurt your feelings, and all that can be not just in one day but in 5 minutes.

And bottom line, you can't always control that.

Kids are adapt at figuring out situations in which they have you pigeon holed.

But I have figured something out and maybe I'm slow in coming to this but, hey better late then never, I've figured out that while I can't always control them, I can control my reaction.

Hard to believe but I used to be a yeller. I still do occasionally yell when life and limb are in danger, which with three boys can happen on a regular basis. I would let them get so far under my skin that I just felt crazy and sometimes I snapped. And I hated it.

And somehow, something has changed. I'm more at peace lately.

Of course that could be my underachiever streak coming out. (See I haven't totally changed I'm still totally unable to let things go)

My new mantra is I can't always control them, but I can always control me.

And that's my honest mommy moment of the day.

18 comments:

  1. I whole-heartedly approve, and like hearing that you're feeling some calm in your mommy life. :)

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  2. I love it ;)

    Good for you darling :)
    You are amazing, but you know this right?? :)

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  3. So true, so true. I can think of a few bloggers that need to read this and wake up to reality!

    And may those same people have a child like Abs, Junior and the Dashes combined. :)

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  4. Before I was a mother, I used to wonder - why can't that parent control their kid? Or - I will NEVER let my kid act like that in public.

    HA! If only it was that easy. I realized very quick that kids are kids and they dont always behave...that's life!

    :-)

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  5. Good for you! I'm still working on that one, which is so sad, b/c I've been doing longer than you, with fewer kids spaced further apart. *sigh* Some of us are just slow learners!

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  6. So great to hear from another Momma! Two thumbs up!

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  7. That's why you fall in love with them when they are babies, so you don't go crazy when they are toddlers or teenagers. I don't care what anyone says....unless they are Stepford Children....you will not always win those battles...just pick the ones you care about most.

    Being the mother of the year, I have walked over my child as he lay on the sidewalk thrashing and, guess what? No one was harmed....

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  8. According to a show on 20/20 Paul and I watched that is exactly what you're supposed to do... ignore baby behavor so that they don't think it gives them attention.

    You can't control everything. But it's human nature to try. I'm glad you're going to relax about trying.

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  9. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    I just would like to add that you also can't control other people's reactions when your child pitches a fit. I've ran into a few situations in which I wanted to verbally assault someone that tried to ridicule my parenting skills because my child was crying. Most of the time, I pass the test of controlling my response. :-)

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  10. I think it's the third baby that does it, the whole not caring so much what everyone else thinks deal...And the whole "I laugh at you hysterically Mother Of One Child when you preach to me about how I should be doing things to control it all better". Ha. Hahahaha! Wait until YOU have three children in 5 years and you'll be lettin' them eat the dorito that just fell on the floor too.

    Oh wait, did I get sidetracked there for a second? Sorry.

    Good for you for having a more relaxed attitude! I really think it's better for the kids too. Keeps every one more clam....Sometimes at least ;)

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  11. I don't think I'm patient enough. I raise my voice way too often and try to reason with my 2 year old. Sign, silly Jennifer. She's 2. You can rarely reason with your husband.

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  12. outstanding point. thanks for sharing.

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  13. there is no perfect mommy mold.

    if there was I would have tried to purchase it.

    kudos to you for sharing this! we all have these thoughts going through our minds at one time or another.

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  14. Here's my Honest Mommy Moment. We had a Fall Festival at our church last night. I was quite content to let my 5 year old run off with his sister. To my chagrin, she wanted to hang out with her 8 and 9 year old friends, so I let her, abandoning my son to hang with his 4 and 5 year old buddies.

    I PAWNED HIM OFF ON OTHER LITTLE KIDS...and let him run wild...and I had NO earthly idea where he was most of the time. And I really didn't care, because I figured, "hey, we're at a church festival, where EVERYONE knows my son (because he likes to get up on stage and holler into the microphones which are usually HOT (on) between services). AND, we have C.O.P.S. (Christian Officers Promoting Service) on the property...so we have a TON of police officers there. So my son is pretty safe."

    I did have a few moms come up to me and say, "oh, you son's such a hamball cutie - he was throwing hay at everyone on the Hay Ride."

    Hay ride? I didn't know there was a Hay ride...nor did I know he went on it...and nor did I know he was throwing hay at everyone. But he's so charismatic and doggone cute that when HE throws hay, everyone finds it HILARIOUS.

    And you know what? I didn't bother to corral my kids till after 8:00 p.m. When it was time to go. And *I* had fun.

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  15. i agree. i learned that several years ago. i have twin boys who are 10 and a daughter who is 9. Yep close together and I get you can't always control them. my mantra... be cool as a cucumber and everything will be A Okay!

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