Tuesday, October 20, 2009

absence makes the heart grow fonder at least

My mom has a saying about being a mom and getting sick... its short but VERY true... "get sick on the weekend".

I have added another part to this saying, "get sick on the weekend *when your husband is home*".

I am quite thankful that whatever bug I had over the weekend picked a perfect time to rear its ugly head. Flyboy happened to be home for two days in between trips. It kinda sucked that on his two days with us it was yucky, rainy weather, I was sick as a dog, and on top of that the Giants lost.

Flyboy has had better weekends.

But really, THANK GOD he was home. Had he not been home it would have been like the countless times before, you trudge thru it because you have to but as I'm sure many of you know, it ain't pleasant. Being a mom and being sick don't mix. I have yet to meet the four year old (or almost 3 yr old or newborn for that matter) that still doesn't expect their every need to be met. And in a timely manner.

He was here to pick up the slack.

This time.

November of last year, thanksgiving more precisely I had a miscarriage, he was here for that , I was both physically and mentally a bit shaky so he took himself off a trip. And in a little twist of fate we got pregnant during that time. Because I got pregnant so quickly afterwards it wasn't the usual pee on a stick and celebrate.

My period had yet to return and I didn't feel right, I was worried that the miscarriage might not have taken care of itself. I took a pregnancy test hoping to see not pregnant and then I would know that all was clear. Not so. The test came back pregnant. Normally this would have been thrilling, especially after just losing one, however I was still thinking that there might be complications.

It took a bit to get into the doctors, flyboy was away during the wait.

I got in and got blood work, it appeared by the levels I was actually pregnant. Again... flyboy was gone.

The internist wanted me checked out by ob immediately to see for sure what was going on. They did an internal ultrasound and I was told that they didn't see what they should see, the doctor didn't seem optimistic and told me to go for another ultra sound in two weeks.

That two weeks was agonizing... and you guessed it, no flyboy home to lean on.

The following ultrasound showed a healthy little tadpole but again, I went to that ultrasound alone.

And I vomited for 20 weeks for the most part alone, including a fun trip to the ER. Although when he was here he did hold my hair. Or at least hold the kids back. Apparently mom hacking up her guts is very entertaining.

It all worked out, we have a beautiful baby boy upstairs sleeping.

Since having kids I think less of how much I miss out on and more of what my kids miss out on. With the exception lately of thinking back about all this stuff. Dash-1 for instance spent his first birthday with dear old dad. He'll be five this year. And it looks like flyboy will be away for that one as well.

He tries his damnedest to be here for as much as he can, I know that he hates being away for so much, I know it's his job, I know he does it for us, but it doesn't always make it easier to swallow.
This post isn't particularly witty and might not even make a whole lot of sense, I hate the post where I just kinda ramble and then end them without some great wrapup, but alas, this is one of those.

Sometimes I just need to put my thoughts out there and well, those don't always lay the way I like.

8 comments:

  1. Seriously I give a big high five to you! I am so not tough enough to be a military wife. Honestly you are awesomely strong. And...kids do seem drawn to puking. glad to know it isn't just mine.

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  2. This post made a whole lot of sense, to anyone who has been there, or even in the neighbourhood.

    {{hugs}}

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  3. Don't worry, you make perfect sense. :)

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  4. It makes a whole lot of sense....

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  5. I agree, this post made a hell of a lot of sense.

    Thanks for the chat the other day. I needed it. If you want me to repay the favor, you know my number :) Anytime. You know that.

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  6. My best friend had a similar situation. Within weeks after a miscarriage she became pregnant again. She has a healthy baby boy to show for it, but the beginning was agonizing for her and they missed out on a good deal of pregnancy joy early on due to worry and emotions from the prior pregnancy. And on the sickness front, I had the full-on flu that took 4-5 weeks to fully recover from last year, husband gone, and I still have no idea how I even got dinner on the table. I think I have blocked the memory out it was so bad!!

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  7. Read, and understood. *hugs* :)

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I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.