Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Things I'm dying to share... another mish mosh post

Again I should be packing and I will go make some progress so that flyboy thinks I've been working hard. But I spent hours with two impatient kids at the hospital/clinic today so I deserve some me time dammit.

(By the way, dash-1 still kinda sick.)

So on to my list....
- I don't get the whole fake flowers outside thing. Really I don't get fake flowers inside but today I saw someone planting fake flowers in her yard. Yes, that's right, she was taking fake flowers out of the Mich@el's bag and putting them in holes she had dug in her yard.

And folks... she had a lot of them.

Maybe I'm just missing something. I mean I have a horrible brown thumb. Time and time again I thank goodness my children didn't come in pots with dirt cause they would have been toast a long time ago. But to actually dig a hole in your yard and put fake flowers in it?

Don't get it. At all.

- Flyboy the other day said I was getting "pregnant chick wide ass". He said it very matter of factly like it was some syndrome us knocked up folks get.

I forgot to put this in my other post and then when I remembered he told me not to post it. Apparently he is worried about what you all will think of him. And I can see why, this my friends, does not help his popularity now does it?

He claims he was kidding but it was hard to hear none the less. I blame pregnancy pants, compared wearing my usual low rise jeans I'm wearing pants that come up to my boobs. I get it, its not always a flattering look but really... now I have a wide ass?

Oh I'm a hot mess over here. And poor flyboy has to keep hearing me ask if I look fat in this... or that....

But frankly, that's his price to pay.

- I am a total tech idiot. I know most of you out there problem think I'm a computer wizard. I give off that impression (please note the sarcasm). I've been trying to figure out for as long as I've had this blog how to put the line thru my typing.

How in the world do some of you do that? I'm sure its right in front of my face. But if someone can clue me in I'd appreciate that.

- Sometimes I'm in awe of people who can go ape shit.

A woman today in the family practice clinic went nuts over how long the wait was and how they treat people down there. And I have to say, while I might not have had the balls to go berserk like her, she was spot on right.

Now I don't agree with the people who go crazy for no reason, I saw a lady lose it in Panera's once because she claimed some guy cut in front of her in line. I mean she was screaming and shouting at this poor guy and the kicker... she wasn't even in the line. And its pretty darn obvious since they have the cattle ropes up.

But the lady in the clinic was standing up for herself. Granted like I said she was a tad on the ape shit side of losing it but seeing as though I waited an hour for my appointment and then another 45 min at the pharmacy, I could really, really, feel her pain.

Me? I just sit there and take it. The doctor walks in and cracks a joke about running late and I just kinda smile instead of flipping out. The truth.... sometimes I just wish I had the balls to flip out. On someone.

This has taken me way longer to write since my peace and quiet of nap time (the only perk to the kids being sick) ended way to soon, so I should just cut the list here and go accomplish something. Like packing for vacation, lest we all want to run around the Magic Kingdom in our skivvies.

However that would clear out the park for us.


  1. I loved this post and agree with everything you said.

    to get the line use the strikethrough tag < strike > and < /strike > without the spaces in there.

  2. My old boss (I was a personal assistant for 2 years in college) would "plant" fake flowers in her flower beds around her trees. I got paid to pull up and plant flowers to match the seasons. Yes. To match the seasons: poinsettias for Christmas, purple and pink for spring, orange and brown for fall...

    Now I live next to a woman who has solar lights lining her driveway and one stalk of orange fake flowers between the lights. The lawn care guys looove them (please note my sarcasm). I've seen a lawn dude actually trying to fix one after he whacked it with the weed eater. I don't get it.

  3. Even easier than using < strike> you can just use < s> and < /s>.

    I loved the whole post too. Especially the part about the fake flowers outside. I had never known this was an epidemic until I walked by a house that had fake flowers planted by their mailbox. Nothing more out of place than bright red and orange flowers sticking out of a 2' snowbank...

  4. I saw someone planting fake flowers last week and I thought HUH!?!??! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one wondering what's up with that.

  5. Hahahaha this post is hilarious! I never knew about the fake flower epidemic... but I already don't understand it!

    And you read my mind! Last night I was trying to figure out the strike through command. I'm glad I'm not the only tech dummy in the blog land! :)

  6. Awesome post! I was cracking up the entire time. The fake flowers in the yard is ridiculous. I have some neighbors who actually buy the real thing and just set pot & all in the yard. Never plant it. Can't figure that one out either. * Shame on your DH for the behind comment! I'm sure it does not look huge. And, you are right - these up to our boobs pants aren't exactly the most flattering, but still. Men wouldn't do anything but kiss our feet if they really knew what experiencing pregnancy is all about. * Ditto the PPs on the strike thing. Maybe someday Blogger will add a cute button, but for now you have to add the HTML code. * I also wish I had a pair to speak my mind from time to time. My last neuro appt I waited over an hour and not so much as even a "sorry for the wait" from the dr. Good grief. My time is valuable too.

    Anyhow, hope the kids (esp. little Dash-1) are a-ok soon and that you all have a fun time on your vacation!

  7. SO it is the pants!! Pregnancy pants totally make your ass look big!!

    Also, my friend's neighbor used to plant fake flowers. Abominable!

  8. damn i guess I should throw all my fake flowers away.
    I hope dash1 feels better poor thing.
    Oh and as for the lady going crazy i would never do it there. Well maybe i would but if i lived there NO WAY that would so get around.

    btw i got so into this post i burned the girls pizza oh well

  9. Awesome. Planted fake flower haters speak out! How about a big fake donkey that gets dressed for the different seasons? See one of those in your hood?

    Hope you all enjoy vacation.

  10. In defense of fake lawn flowers:
    I plant fake flowers. Yes, I do. Not IN the lawn, but in containers outside. I like this for several reasons.
    1. They never look terrible or dead.
    2. They never need to be weed eaten.
    3. Watching someone try to pick your flowers through the window is hysterical.
    Okay, so it might be mostly about number 3. I am terrible with plants. I can kill anything just by owning it. You have to have the right kind of flowers... mine are mainly just green stuff with a few flowers. I even internet looked them up and I have flowers that typically bloom all spring and most of summer. So... I understand fake flowers in the lawn. I do it.

    I've gone ape shit a couple of times, but if I talked about it this comment would be way long.

  11. Haha, this is a great post, I fully enjoyed ever sentence, lol! Your hubs is very VERY lucky you didn't go nutso on him after that comment. And the fake flowers? Really!? Weird. And I love when someone flips out with a purpose. Good for that woman. She did it, and you don't have to. :)

  12. Holy moly, what the eff is up with the fake flowers?!?!?! So many people on post plant fake flowers in their yards. Looks so tacky.

  13. Andddd now I know how to do strike thru's!!


    Hahah!! :D

  14. oh my god -- I saw a girl go apeshit on someone in Gap a month or two ago. Apparently the girl had bumped someone and didn't say "excuse me" -- wooowwwweee.

    Hahah, I don't get the fake flowers thing either..

  15. Fake flowers...hmmm...never heard of that! That is too funny:p

  16. Have I told you lately that I love the crap out of you?? Wide butt and all?? LOL JKJK Maternity clothes are not the best but preggo people are so stinking cute.

    Ok I am all for the fake flowers but what happens when it rains??? Or on a windy day??? All that hard work...and with the effort she was making, why not just plant real ones and let nature do it's thing?

  17. Seriously! You crack me up. Your posts always do it.
    Yeah if you lived around here you'd probably see me going crazy in any random line, waiting room, or office. I can't stand rude people, or people who waste my time. I always tell our doctors or the lady at the desk how much longer it's going to be because I got other things to do even if I don't..

  18. Umm, I will come pack for you if you take me to Disney! I hope she at least took the price tag off the flowers before planting..that would be totally obvious ;)

  19. Great post! I enjoy your thoughts!

  20. OMG, you so crack me up . . . when are you moving to my state, LOL! That could be dangerous! Thanks for the line through the word stuff; I am so cluesless on that too. Oh and prego pants to the chest . . . why? I never understood that one! Are you blogging on your trip; you will be missed but take a notebook so you don't forget to blog about all the 'fun' stuff. Safe travels!

  21. That's one way to not have to wait in line!

    I don't get the fake flowers either. I can't keep anything alive either...well the kids are doing a pretty darn good job of growing like weeds.

    I can't do the strikethrough either. I tried following directions on the internet, and it didn't work. Teach me if you learn!

  22. fake flowers in your house? Tacky.

    Fake flowers OUTSIDE your house? Redneck. Seriously? I've never even heard of this. She REALLY put fake flowers in her yard!

    You always crack me up lady.

    And I too, have been trying to figure out how to do the strikthrough through my words. Thanks to your wonderful readers, I've figured it out!

  23. Now I can understand putting fake flowers in a pot, but planting them in the ground??? That's a little much.

    Not sure how you type your posts, but if you do them in word and transfer over, you can just highlight the word, go to font, and click strikethrough.

  24. That butt remark would send me over the edge even when not preggers. I know he is a good husband but shesh! You tell him your bloggy friends said buy you some flowers right away

  25. Oh no he didn't (say this with lots of snaps and head popping)! Even if your butt was as big as a house, he better tell you it looks so tiny he can't even see it!

  26. Just letting you know I was here visitin' you blog. :)

    I am a fellow Mil wife/mom and I totally cracked up about the family practice "issue" and the wait at the pharmacy. I have had many times of waiting at the base pharmacy with the sick kiddos. It has gotten better....thank goodness.

  27. I am a new follower too. your posts crack me up.

    I'll have to come back to read more during nap time tomorrow. ;)

  28. Wow--- that really doesn't help his popularity at all!!
    Planting fake flowers? So.. they assume they will withstand the weather to look absolutely radiant and beautiful the way REAL plants do?... right.

  29. I so had no idea either how to do the strick thin.. I am so using it on every post now!!

    And I have to say fake flowers in a garden? Humm I mean I kill EVERY living plant I have ever had but yet I still do not think I could ever plant fake flowers? So strange. I mean is she going to go out and wipe them down? Hose them off? Please tell me she had on cut little gloves and gardening


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