Sunday, April 19, 2009

People say the damndest things... to kids

I meant to post about this when it happened a couple weeks ago but who knows, no doubt one of the dashes did something that made me forget about it. Until we went back to that store this weekend and as we were loading up the car I smacked my forehead and told flyboy I had totally forgotten my blog worthy story about S@m's club.

Or at least I think it's blog worthy but then again I control this little space now don't I?

I do so love S@m's club. It's like a toy store for adults. I mean you never know what in the world they are going to have in there. Usually I'm going for our household staples, bottled water, fruit (my boys, especially the grown one can pack that stuff away), you know boring stuff like that, but I still wonder around.

Oh and the GIANT 87 cent fountain coke that comes in a wonderfully delightful Styrofoam cup so that it doesn't sweat, insulates like a dream, and keeps the soda oh so fizzy. Seriously that's why I'm really there.

Anyways we were getting our cart checked out as we were leaving the store, because you know in warehouse stores people stealing 20 pound vats of mayo is a real problem so they need to check everyone, dash-1 was sitting in the back of the cart playing with an airplane glider toy of his.

Dash-1 shows it off to the guy checking our cart and starts talking about airplanes. The guy says this, "I don't do airplanes. I don't trust them. They fall out of the sky."

They fall out of the sky.

I swear dash-1 looked like someone had just kicked him in the balls. His eyes were HUGE. And for once he was speechless.

Just staring at this ginormous guy (really he was like 300 pounds) with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open digesting what he had just said.

The checker guy is kinda wondering why this kid is staring him this way I'm sure so I just politely took my receipt and explained that my husband flies for a living. A lot.

To which he replied again, "I don't get why kids don't like me." I guess dash-1's starring wide eyed with a gaping mouth was getting to him. Which he was still doing.

But really, your wondering why my kids haven't taken to you? You just told a kid playing with an airplane that they fall out of the sky. Yowza. Talk about a conversation killer.

And the worst part.... I must admit. I found this whole exchange kinda funny. Ya know in a "people say the strangest thing to total strangers"-"awkward silence and strange facial reaction" kinda way. Really. Trust me, it was kinda funny.

And then when dash-1 came to his senses later in the car and shoot back with maybe that man's plane falls out of the sky "cause he's a REALLY REALLY big". Even funnier.

26 comments:

  1. what a jerk that guy is! then to explain to him that your hub flies for a living and he still doesnt get it?!?!?! UGH. Thats the BEST freakin comeback ever!! hahahahahahhaha im seriously laughing so hard right now the tears are poring out. great story!

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  2. wow! yeah, there's just some stuff better left... unsaid!

    haha! that was too funny what dash-1 said, they do say the damndest things don't they...

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  3. Thank, Mr.Stranger for striking fear into the heart of my child. How about you stay up with him next time he has nightmares that keep him up all night???

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  4. UGH! I can't believe that man said that!! Especially to a young child! BUT I LOVE Dash-1's response! Absolutely amazing!

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  5. I just don't think I will ever understand people! I love Dash-1's response, though! Too funny!

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  6. Wow! What a complete tool! I loved your kids response though and his words in the parking lot haha!

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  7. OMG you told me that story but i cant believe you didnt tell me what he said in the car. Oh i would have loved to see that guys face if dash1 said it to his face

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  8. Wow, what a terrible comment...regardless what your hubby does. There's no reason why you need to tell a little boy that, seriously. Love his comment back...too bad you weren't in the store anymore.

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  9. just found your blog through yellow ribbons, but that story is absolutely absurd!

    I love how your kid came back with a retort 5 minutes later! That is how I operate now, as a grown-up...thinking of my come-backs way too late.

    anyways..looking forward to following along and hope this story didn't damage your kid too much

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  10. MAN! What a mean thing to say to a kid! Gosh I might have punched him for ya:p I hope your little boy isn't too upset about that knowing that his daddy fly's planes...But gosh, that sure was funny what he said in the car, HA!

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  11. OH MY GOD AHAHAHAAHA. I like the sass dash-1 has! :D

    Seriously though, you'd think people would consider what is about to fly out of their mouths... actually in this day and age, I think I've realized that might be too much to ask! :P

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  12. I love Dash-1. I love Dash-2 and soon to be Dash-3 too, but Dash-1 just kills me.

    Also, I feel like I just wrote one stanza of a Dr.Suess book.

    And yes. TDY's suck, but I do get to watch as much chick-flick television as I want ;-) I love the bright side.

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  13. What an @sshole. Seriously. I wouldn't have been so restrained with him.

    But Dash's reaction is absolutely priceless! I wish he had recovered in the store :)

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  14. Dash-1 rocks the casbah. Ginormous obtuse thoughtless guys can't touch him.

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  15. LOLOLOL. Seriously, that is one awesome story. Poor Dash-1, he probably was like, Wait, what?

    so awwww :[[, and LOLOLOL :]]]

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  16. Bahaha dash-1 is a comedian just like his momma!!

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  17. I knew that before the story was over dash-1 would have proven his resilence, and with humor to boot! :)

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  18. dash-1 nailed it. I think I would have wanted to say all kinds of other things to dash-1 in the car and would have had to bite my tongue so I didn't. Tools....

    Yes, the GIANT 87 cent fountain coke in the really good styrofoam cup (it even works in Florida!), I never miss getting one. LOL

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  19. The first thought that came to my mind was "Jackass Royale"

    I love the wit of a kid...your dash-1 is the best! Can he be Olivia's prom date?

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  20. NO WAY! People should not pass off there paranoia to children. I'm glad you taught dash-1 well though. Good problem solving skills there :)

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  21. omg how awesome is dash one!! nice comeback buddy :)

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  22. Oh... My... GOSH!! I would've WET myself! That's hysterical!!

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  23. LOL. I love Dash-1's response. :)

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  24. Dash-1 makes me laugh so hard because that's exactly what I was thinking my responce would be to the jerkoff as I read the story.

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  25. Wait wait! I have to stop laughing before I can type....!

    That is great! And the thing is Dash-1 probably didn't think about Flyboy. He was just trying to figure out why this guy's planes fall out of the sky. And his final answer is hilarious!

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I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.