Thursday, June 17, 2010

To fly away or not?

I am used to my husband coming home from work and telling me that he's going somewhere, I'm used to him telling me that he's going to places that I myself would like to visit, I'm used to many things in regards to my husband and travel....

I was not prepared when he came home the other night and told me that his friend who recently got engaged would be having his bachelor party in Dublin.

Ireland.

Not Dublin, Ohio. Dublin, Ireland. The other side of the pond.

A bachelor party in Dublin?! What no flights to Las Vegas? Or is that too over done?

I'm sure Guinness really does taste better while drinking it in St. Jame's Gate and Dublin does seem like a kick ass place to go, but lets be honest, these boys are just gonna get wasted and why not get wasted where it'll be cheaper. In Boston. Where the groom is from.

And where we don't have to pay to fly flyboy across the ocean to get there.

I'm not going to lie, I'm bothered about a lot about this. The cost, in airfare, hotels, BEER, BOOZE, you know those kinda things. Even done on the cheap that's a lot of money to spend on a bachelor party, in the wedding or not. We've NEVER been on a trip like that.

How about if one flies to a fantastic vacation spot they take their wife with them! Or their kids and leave their wife in a quiet house. I'd be cool with that.

He said he asked if he could take me but no old ladies allowed. What I loved the most was that he said it to me in a way that I think I was supposed to be touched he asked about me and then say "oh well in that case go" and smile. Instead I laughed.

Cause the whole thing is kinda funny to me.

Is he really going to go? Surely my husband is waaaaaaaay more practical then that.

Now he says this is all going to go down next June, a year away, so I'm not getting my panties in too big of a bunch about it. I'd take 50-50 odds that it fizzles out and they end up doing something much more reasonable.

That being said I'm not going full out into putting my foot down mode. Also as anyone who is married knows you can't really ever put your foot down, it does have to be a mutual agreement. Should he actually get to buying a plane ticket it could get ugly around here.

But I'm reallllly curious.... what's your take on this?

Would you give your blessing? Does having kids or not having kids make a difference in what your answer would be?

And if you'd really like to go all in, what's your husbands opinion? Would he vote for flyboy to go?

I'm waiting with bated breath to hear y'alls answers.

****EDIT FROM FLYBOY***

Talk about panties in a crucnch, flyboy is all worked up. He wants me to clarify a couple things.

This friend was the best man at our wedding, 8 yrs ago. He also threw flyboy his bachelor party, that if I remember correctly was a stripper and some beer at the house they rented.

A far cry from Dublin their house was.

F.A.R.

Ummmm I think that's it. Oh and the friend is aware that this will affect how many people come.

By the way don't forget to enter the giveaway!

36 comments:

  1. Uhm, is that guy crazy? Bachelor party in Ireland...that's a lot to ask of anyone. That with the fact that family members are not welcome to attend make this a definate no.

    ..oh and we don't have kids. Really I don't think kids are so much of a factor as the fact that this guy is clearly crazy for asking people to fly so far and shell out so much money for a night out with him.

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  2. I would be seriously annoyed as well. And if he's not the one paying for the tickets, who is he to say "no old ladies allowed"??? It's not like you'd be going to the bachelor party with them... I always think it's so rude when people plan these big trips and just expect everyone to fork over for it. Uncool.

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  3. ummm... no, wait... maybe... if my husband had FOUR STARS on his shoulder to help pay for that trip... but if he can't take me on a vacation like that on the whim, I certainly will not be budgeting for HIM to go ALONE!

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  4. Definitely not. My husband wouldn't even think about going somewhere like that unless he could take me. I agree that its rude all over expecting them to pay and not allowing family to accompany.

    There are plenty of Irish in Boston, and pubs to boot. He should just stay there and party.

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  5. Oh wow! You have every right to feel the way you do. Maybe if it was a couple's bachelor/bachelorette party it might be a little more understandable, but just the guys going to Ireland, no way!

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  6. I'm not opposed to couples taking their own trips with friends on occasion.... but this is just crazy fantasy talk! Unless the gang rolls like that on a regular basis, jet set couples running all over the world together ( I mean that in a leisure kinda way not a job), why in the world would this guy even put that out there as a serious plan?

    Oh I know what's going on, it's all about perception. If he puts this out at the plan, the guys don't get clearance, then the real plan will come out and anything state side will seem reasonable in comparison. "Oh honey, now it's just Vegas, no big deal."

    I'm just really having a hard time figuring out what this guy was thinking when he put this plan together.

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  7. First I need to tell you what my husband just said: 1) He would tell the groom he was a tard because there is no way anyone could afford to pay for all of that just to go to a Bachelor Party. 2) The groom shouldn't even be in charge of his own Bachelor Party, that is the best man's responsibility. 3) If the groom said he was going to pay for everyone to get over to Dublin then hell's yes he is going, and no duh no women allowed it's a Bachelor Party.

    My female take on it: umm, is the guy nutso? I think I would be like you, not thrilled about even the idea of it but trying not to get worked up over something that may or may not occur a year from now. However, I would probably tell the hubs that I was going and would stay in a different hotel because I have always dreamed of visiting Ireland. Good luck with this one!

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  8. I go to a LOT of bachelorette parties - and asking anybody to go to Ireland is COMPLETELY ridiculous. The money, time and distance unreasonable to ask of anybody. I am single so I don't have the wife perspective but if someone suggested Ireland for their bachelorette party, I would laugh in their face. The wife/children factor is a no-brainer.

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  9. I think the real person I'd be peeved with would be the guy the party is for! Who throws a bachelor party in a country that MOST everyone would want to visit in a lifetime but say, dudes only? Does he even realize the load of crap he's getting his married dude friends into asking that of them? I'm assuming here that he did infact say no girls allowed...Or is that Fly Boy talking...

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  10. Damn, I thought the Vegas Bachelor Party was rough. I feel ya, I would be burned -- but I have a hard time saying no to my Hubbie when it comes to once in a lifetime. If it put a damper on the finances I would say no-- but otherwise, I guess I am in the minority-- I would let him go.

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  11. Both Einstein and I agree you are doing the right thing: we think it is a ridiculous idea, but as you said...it ain't gonna happen. So having a fight about it is pretty silly...just let it fizzle out on its own.

    But if it does continue- Einstein is way, way more against it than I am, which is funny. Also, Einstein doesn't think having kids affects the decision/practicality, and I do think it makes it a little worse.

    Also, we would both argue: an equal amount of effort for a bachelor party is a reasonable expectation, but that isn't even the same type of game, much less on the same level.

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  12. I would vote no.
    That's so much money to spend on a night none of them will remember.

    I don't even have kids!

    If he were going to Ireland I sure as heck better be sitting next to him on the plane... if he wanted to sit in some stupid bar the entire trip- fiiiiiiiine, but I'm going to explore!

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  13. Aww. How cute that Flyboy is taking an air trip to fantasy land. Because unless he is taking you on a trip to Dublin first he ain't goin'.

    Paul's best man at his wedding was just awesome. He thought Paul said our colors were brown and went out and bought an entire new brown suit. When he got to our wedding (a flying trip for him from Michigan to Alabama) and found out it was NOT brown he went out and bought yet another new suit, shoes and all. Then he paid for us to have our honeymoon night in the poshest hotel we've ever been too. And he was fantastic the whole time and nice and enthusastic...

    Because of time (Isaac was due then) Paul wasn't even able to go to his wedding. He got married a couple days after Isaac was born.

    These things happen, unfortunately, no matter how much you value the groom, that doesn't justify a trip like that. (Unless the groom is paying for it and why is he planning it anyway?)

    (Also, I told Paul about this and he says he thinks the Groom should save the exotic trip to some place everyone wants to go for the Honeymoon. In fact, the entire time I've typed this he's been going off about it. Lol.)

    PS. Longest comment ever?!?!

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  14. "If he were going to Ireland I sure as heck better be sitting next to him on the plane... if he wanted to sit in some stupid bar the entire trip- fiiiiiiiine, but I'm going to explore!"

    These are my exact thoughts!!!

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  15. ok, wow.

    first of all, if you want to go to ireland, who's going to stop you?

    2nd of all - unless you guys are part of the rich jet setting crowd, who in the world can afford something like this? i even think the vegas stuff is way expensive! (and money better spent on other, cooler things. luckily my husband agrees :-p)

    per above, my husband wouldn't want to go - he would think its way too much money to drop on something like that ESP since he'd be paying to travel and be in the wedding.

    but maybe we're just cheap-os and party poopers :-p

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  16. I have to admit, I'd be peeved at hubby for not telling the groom how dumb that idea was to begin with. This whole idea just seems completely ridiculous!

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  17. Hahahahahahahahahaha Seriously????? It will fizzle out. I'd be surprised if it didn't.

    Did I tell you that I am throwing a party for the "old ladies" in some plush resort location with hot cabana boys and umbrellas in every single drink. No kids or "old men" allowed.

    BTW, it will be for a month. Game?

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  18. Oh HEEEEEELL no!!! Why should he get a cool trip like that if y'all can't do something like that together? You've never been somewhere cool together, and now he thinks it would be appropriate to fly somewhere awesome with just guys and get piss drunk?? Nope. I would shit purple kittens if hubby tried to pull that.

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  19. No! Gah! No!

    While you're stuck at home with the three boys!?

    I don't need to say anything else, it's all been said.

    (Ha! Oh, Hellcat Betty, you and your purple kittens...)

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  20. What I love about this whole situation, is that my husband wouldn't even have to mention it to me because he'd already no the answer. BIG FAT NO! Unless I get to go with of course ; ) Even then Dublin for a party... really!??

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  21. lol I think I'm the only person who is all for this! I've had friends do bachelorette parties in Amsterdam, Vegas, Canada...all over. And Dublin is amazing!

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  22. J wouldn't be going. Nope. No way. Especially since Ireland is one of those places in the world I want to go SO BAD and he's already been there once without me (compliments of the military). My seething jealously would ruin our marriage. (I'd like to say I'm joking about that...but there's probably more truth in it than I'd like admit)

    Also, why is it that we always get to be the ones to sit home with the kids while they go on these fantastic "vacations"? Okay, I know they're not really vacations...but J has been to Hawaii, Alaska, Germany, Italy, Spain, New Orleans, St Louis, San Diego (shall I go on??) for work and then he emails me all these updates and pictures, "Hey, hun, we're enjoying hibachi on the beach tonight! Wish you were here!"....blah. Such hard work! lol

    So if there were ever an opportunity for him to go somewhere fabulous off the clock you'd better be sure he'd be taking me with him! I sit home by myself enough! If that makes me a bitter shrew of a wife so be it :)

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  23. I'd be shocked if Oliver actually talked about this seriously because he hates to spend money. That said, though, we are big time travellers, so I can see us deciding to go together, then me doing something fun with the kids while he did the stupid bach party. Then again, we don't drink so no one ever invites us to bachelor parties, so I guess this is a moot point! Really, though, people are so wacky about weddings these days. Whatever happened to the actual wedding being special no matter what you do (or don't)spend on it? Why go into serious debt just to look cool?

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  24. I would say a big fat no! Weddings and everything surrounding them are just getting ridiculous these days. Dublin...seriously?!?!?

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  25. hahahah FlyBoy is funny. CPT X would never in a million years attempt to even get his panties in a bunch over it, then again I'm pretty sure he'd say come along honey, IF IF IF we had the money and it wasn't going to blow a ton of leave time. But we're miliatry, officers or not, last time i checked there wasn't too much $$ to get across the pond. I agree that it will probably fizzle out, but just in case it doesnt, book your own lovely seat in 1st class and tell Flyboy you'll meet him for kegs and eggs the day afer the bachelor party in Temple Bar. I say if he's going, you should go too! I'm sure some grandparent/aunt/uncle/tooth fairy would be glad to babysit the kiddos

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  26. That's a little far-fetched I think. I don't think it's unreasonable at all for you to ask him not to go, especially if you've never been on a trip like that together.

    I have 2 ideas:

    1. Since he threw your hubby a bachelorette party, have your hubby throw him a surprise one somewhere close before anyone has to buy a ticket.

    2. Tell the friend if he pays for the ticket and hotel, your hubby can go.

    That's what I'd do. And I know being married we have to make "mutual decisions" but sometimes, you do have to put your foot down.

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  27. Um. Wow. I am not even sure where I want to start with commenting on this. I think I am going to just take the safe, least offensive route and say "haha no".

    How ridiculous.

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  28. Ok, so not only would DH NOT be attending the bachelor party, we probably wouldn't even be going to a wedding that was taking place in Dublin. That is just ridiculous!

    Honestly though, if your house is anything like my house, flyboy probably got all excited hearing about the plans and will realize the absurdity in a few weeks. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless the charade continues!

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  29. That sounds like a very elaborate (read: expensive) bachelor party!!

    If we were in this situation, I'd tell my husband that he could go...but only if he brought me ;)

    Typically, though, we do not usually travel to bachelor/bachelorette parties due to trying to save our leave time and money. We're lucky if we have the time/money to make it to the wedding!

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  30. Umm does he know that he has 3 boys to send to college?

    Ireland really? Really?

    Yeah Vegas no problem, but Ireland, and not take you.. I dont think so.

    And I agree with you it will probably fizzle out, as if the 2 of them will go alone, it does not make any sense.

    At all.

    Ok I am done

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  31. Um is the friend rolling in cash? I feel that bachelor party in Ireland is just a little too much.

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  32. WOW. that is where I am at... My marine's best friend, J, is also getting married (second marriage). My marine is supposed to be the best man. J "held off" his wedding during our last couple of deployments to ensure we could be there. We kept telling J don't wait on your wedding for us, you know the Corps things can change overnight. Well, J kept waiting, pushing the date back to make sure we are there. They planned it for next spring, guess what we got orders to Okinawa. Now J wants us to fly home for his wedding and the batchelor party is the best part. He still wants my Marine to plan it and have it before the wedding... two flights home from Okinawa... really. Oh yeah, my marine doesn't drink at all! I too am sitting waiting and gonna watch this dirty napkin unfold. This should be very interesting...

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  33. My husband would probably just tell me what the plan was and how ridiculously over the top it sounded. Then I'd help him figure out the most fantastic and fun STATESIDE bachelor party of all time...he wouldn't encourage people not to go to Dublin but he'd definitely plan a great party for the guy on another date,

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  34. That would be a big NO.
    Hubby would never go for it anyway and his friends don't have that kind of money, but he'd say there are better things to spend money on.

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  35. You are handling this way better than me!! I would tell my husband not no, but HELL NO!! Actually he would never consider it b/c we don't have the money to send him!! SO I guess there wouldn't be a fight after all!

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  36. Good grief! No you are not wrong in thinking it is ridiculous. Tell him to rent *The Hangover* and *Very Bad Things*. I hope it fizzles out by then too. :)

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