Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dear so and so

Dear flyboy,

Please. Please I beg of you from the bottom of my heart. Stop chasing after the groundhog with a shotgun.

I know you're a rifle expert, I am not doubting your gun abilities but really, my money is on the groundhog. He's low to the ground, he's got a quick escape hole, and I'm pretty sure he's just doing this to tease you.

Please, please give it up. Your turning into that crazy character from caddyshack and I love you too much to watch that happen.

your loving wife

Dear Elementary school,

Thank you so much for the reminder call about Kindergarten registration, I really do appreciate the work that must have gone into calling all the parents.

But let me just say..... Me? Forget to sign my kiddo up for full day school?

You must be out of your mind.

Thanks again!
a very giddy mom

Dear preschool,

You always have my kid standing at the end of the line near a teacher when ever you do a class "presentation of sorts". Really, this has happened the last three times.

And don't try to sell me that its random. I've been in class rooms. NOTHING IS RANDOM.

Here's what I'm wondering.... why don't you put the girl who was lifting her dress over her head, ripping up her name card into a million pieces, and then rolling on the ground next to you?

Just wondering.
a parent who is wondering what the hell I'm paying for

Dear obnoxious tee ball mom,

No, no I do not think that the kids need new jerseys.

Yes I realize that not all the jerseys match and they have seen better days. I get it you want them to match and have a shirt to keep.

Here's my thought: WHO CARES!

They've already had their team picture in said jerseys, we've already had the parade, the seasons already started, I've already paid 150 bucks for registration, I've already bought 30 dollar cleats, I DONT WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER 10 DOLLARS!

I know it's only 10 or 15 dollars. I get that but I must draw a line somewhere. And telling me that parents who don't agree and don't want to spend the money "should be ashamed about not caring for their kids". Really? You need to open your damn eyes.

Not buying a tee ball tee shirt does not equal not carrying about your kid. That's reserved for people who allow their kids to act like hooligans in public and wonder off because they assume another parent is watching them.... oh wait that would be you....

yours truly,
the teeball parent who keeps giving you the stink eye

oh and dear boys,

Stop your fighting and acting like idiots in public. I should warn you, should this continue and you can't keep your mouths quiet and your hands to yourselves, you might push me over the edge to a point where duct tape might be involved.

I'm just sayin.

love you bunches.... mommy



  1. Obnoxious Tee Ball Mom needs to get a grip. I'm willing to bet that most of the other parents are with you on the jersey score.

  2. Dear Elementary School - heck yes!!! I am registering mine tomorrow, full day woohoo! No chance of forgetting here, either, LOL!

  3. Had mine registered last month... the day registration opened... at 8am exactly! ;)

  4. Why do the groundhogs drive men crazy? Our friends have one who is making the Mr. nuts. She doesn't allow real guns in the house, so he has a pellet gun that he sits in his recliner, opens the window and shoots the dear critter. All it does is sting and makes the groundhog eat more flowers.

    Then, we used to live in a big city. There was an older man who bought his property in the 1940's before the town was built up. He figured he was grandfathered in to doing what he wanted....so every once in a while, on a major road, you would hear a shotgun blast....that was the older guy, blasting away at the groundhogs and the "cwazy wabbits"

  5. Loved these! Apparently that t-ball mom has tons of cash to burn!

  6. Hehe! Too funny! The funniest one was the groundhog! That sounds like my husband, except we're anti-guns. So, replace the guns with any kind of trap and smoke and who knows what else! LOL!

  7. Love this post!

    Come on over you won something... Not the "big" prize however you did win a little somethingsomething...

  8. LOL that was great.. Made me happy!


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