Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Feeling good

Today has been a good day. I'm feeling more like myself. And not just that it seems my time hugging the porcelain bowl seems to be, hopefully, winding down. I'm still nauseous but I don't seem to be spending such a high percentage of my day puking. Not to sound all Martha Stewart but that my friends, is a good thing.

Today was my 12 wk visit. Indeedy do there is a baby in there, who appears to have a nice little heartbeat. Too soon to figure out if I could be getting a break from all the blue and maybe have a little pink in my life but really, healthy is all I ask.

I doubt I'll be keeping you all informed of all my little pregnancy milestones, I doubt that high on anyones reading list and I have far to many poop stories and funny tales of dash-1 mooning the dr's. Of course those might not be high on your reading list either but oh well.

(Side note last week in the er I asked his brother to pull his pants down. I meant the legs of his sweatpants which for some reason dash-2 likes to pull up at his knees like he's trying out for some gang or something. When what do you know dash-1 comes from behind the curtain with his pants pulled down showing off his little white butt and he asked us all, because of course there is a doctor and two nurses/medics in the room, "like this mom?")

More than anything today I'm feeling some relief. I'm feeling like I can finally get excited about having another child. For the past six weeks I've felt like I've been holding my breathe, afraid that the moment I became attached something would go wrong.

I suppose some good from the lost pregnancy is that where as before I was overwhelmed and slightly terrified of how to adapt to three, with this blessing I'm seeing it just as that. A blessing. I'm not terrified, I'm not overwhelmed at the thought of three, I'm excited. That's all. I know there will be challenges but I'm just thankful for the opportunity to rise to them.

I'm sure I'll be slightly more paranoid this time around. Unfortunately loss teaches you that you can lose again. That your not untouchable, that your not immune. But it makes you that much more thankful for what you are given. I'm going to try to relax, ease up on my paranoia (although really my bizarre paranoia could be a whole post) and enjoy the ride I'm on, no matter how many bathroom breaks I have to take.

18 comments:

  1. Love those little boy butts! Hang in there sister! I am sending little girl vibes over to you. Think Pink!

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  2. im so happy that the puking is winding down! ugh. thats the worst part of pregnancy. three's not to hard to manage. it takes a bit of getting use to , but its all what you gt use to. i will keep my fingers crossed for a lil girl for you...im throughly enjoying mine! so i hope you get to experience it as well. i love my boys, dont get me wrong, but theres just something about this little girl.....hang in there :)
    ps-id like to hear about your pregnancy milestones, so THERE! ha! :)

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  3. You're the only one I know who can make me sad and laugh hysterically in one post! Kids do the cutest things!

    Glad to hear that you're feeling a l-i-t-t-l-e better. I don't mind hearing about your pregnancy milestones. I can live vicariously through you b/c there are no babies in my immediate future.

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  4. relief indeed. you didn't know how happy you could be to have the 1st trimester almost over, huh? I hear you. this baby is the baby you were meant to have - the life God designed for your family. I look at my Eva and know it turned out exactly as it was supposed to. and now you also have a little angel up there watching over this one, just to make extra sure it all turns out okay.

    hugs to you & that sweet little one growing!

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  5. i would like to hear about pregnancy milestones. :) except the puking, at least not in detail. i can't handle vomit, in case you forgot. so that's why i'm reminding you. :)

    and LOL "pull your pants down..." boys are so literal...

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  6. Hahahaha, now stories like that I can hear about all of the time. And personally, I think you should write about your pregnancy milestones. They are not boring because they excite you! And carry a child is a huge deal!

    One of my dear friends just had her 12 week check-up and a huge sigh of relief was let out by all invovled.

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  7. Congrats on making it to the 12 week milestone! I am so happy that your days hugging the toilet appear to be numbered!

    You are right though...once you have a negative pregnancy experience, like a loss, it definitely changes the way you think about the whole thing. It is hard to move forward without some modicum of paranoia.

    And P.S. I love hearing about the pregnancy milestones.

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  8. I'm so glad that your feeling better, and 12 weeks is a wonderful milestone...next is 24, at least in our NICU world it is.

    I know that I would be feeling like you, feeling like it all could be lost at anytime.

    Your kids really crack me up. I'm sure your new little one will be the same!

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  9. Somehow I missed the announcement of this fantastic news...

    I'm stoked for you and I'll keep pink thoughts going for you and well-wishes for you.

    Those little dashes are something else.

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  10. Hey! I've been way behind on blogs but I just caught on yours and congratulations on dash-3!!! I'm so excited for you, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you as well :-) And I wouldn't mind the pregnancy milestone posts, it'll help prepare me for a couple years down the line!

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  11. beautifully said friend - "unfortunately loss teaches you that you can lose again. That your not untouchable, that your not immune. But it makes you that much more thankful for what you are given."

    so very very true.

    happy 12 weeks :)

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  12. Congrats on the milestone!! And oh my gosh what a funny butt story :)

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  13. Whaaaa?? This is awsome!! Congratulations!

    Sheesh, I take one little blogging break and see what I miss?

    Glad you're feeling better. I'm sooo excited for you :)

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  14. I'm glad that everything is going ok with your pregnancy! Can't wait to hear when you find out if it's a boy or a girl! :)

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  15. Wow I am so glad you are not freaking at the idea of three. I think I might go a little nuts.Hang in there

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  16. Hope you get the little pink you want, Or you'll be forever out # like I am with 4 men in the house. Most of all I hope that things stay healthy.

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  17. Hope you are feeling better now.

    I can imagine the relief you felt when you saw the baby and the heartbeat. I was scared every step of the way with the Captain, that something was going to go wrong, that I was dreaming the whole thing...anything and everything crazy you could think of. So I know the feeling. But you're already a mom, so you know--the worrying won't stop there. I hope the rest of this pregnancy is uneventful and joyful.

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  18. Yay! I am a little late to the game. I saw your comment on Sarah's and figured I missed some post in my reader! Congrats! I can't imagine the stories awaiting us with Dash-3 in the picture. Hoping for a safe and healthy remainder of the pregnancy!

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