Saturday, December 5, 2009

Should I save for college or therapy

This is an honest mommy post and perhaps some will think less of me for it but oh well here goes....yesterday, I was certain, was one of those days that my children will be recalling in therapy years from now.

It was one of those days where nothing seemed right, we did a fun craft to make our advent calendar (yeah I'm five days late what's it to you?) however it took us one fight between dash -1 and -2, three time outs, and one "I hate you mom your the worst" to get it done. Delightful.

I tried to get them to paint some ornaments, no go, I tried to color with them, no go, so I let them be.

Then they would turn on each other.

Back to time out. And more tears. And of course a few more, "I hate you mom".

Oh and dash-1's new one "I want to find a new family". Which lucky for him that would be illegal cause yesterday I would have helped out his cause.

Ah and there was the report from dash-1's preschool teacher about an "incident" {heads up to all you new parents out there the when your kids preschool teacher says she wants to talk to you about an incident, run, its never good.}

And bedtime, which usually goes rather smooth, was a fiasco, with lots of tears and screaming from dash-2.

All in all everyone was just generally being a butthead. The little one excluded. He's at that wonderful do no wrong stage, he just smiles and coos. And doesn't call me a butthead, that goes a long way to help him be so damn adorable.

Days like that suck. Not only are they just utterly painful, they make me doubt my fitness as a parent. There is nothing worse, in the quiet of the night, when all the kids are finally asleep, then looking back and feeling like you failed, time and time again over the course of the day.

I realize that all of us experience this in some way or another, and I'd like to think if anyone is reading this and thinking this has never or will never happen to them that they are lying to themselves. {Or that karma will quickly and painfully bite them in the ass. }

Parenting is the most emotional investing and taxing thing that a person can take on. Hands down. Here you are with the responsibility of shaping and forming an individual to be a decent human being, it can get draining and overwhelming and it makes those kinda days all the more painful.

In an ideal world kids would always be well behaved, they would always say thank you, they would always look at you with love and respect..... in the real world. HA! Not always.

The truth is that sometimes that as you go down the road of trying to shape and mold and lead them to be good decent people you hit speed bumps. And more then likely that speed bump is them being a butthead to you. It doesn't make it acceptable, I can't tolerate their behavior but I do have to try to remind myself that its not always an indictment on my parenting.

{Especially when I talk with my friend who's oldest is two weeks older then dash-1, we'll call her dashette-1. Well her mom is just about at the same point I am... giving away dashette-1. There seems to be something about this stage that dash and dashette 1 are at. They are testing the waters and its driving us crazy. But it does help some that someone else is suffering too.}

The day wasn't all bad, it never is. There were still hugs and kisses, some laughter and fun, but sadly there was more ickiness then fun. But then again I suppose not everyday can be, as dash-2 puts it, dweewightful.

At least today is a new day and dammit, its going to be friggin dweewightful.

10 comments:

  1. I was going to call you back last night but I didnt want to distrub you if you had piece and quiet. I'm at my wits end to and i dont know where to go from here. I feel like i have failed at the one thing i dreamed about my whole life.

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  2. Sounds like you need a drunken bunco party like I attended last night...DD of course...

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  3. You're laying the foundation of creating a respectful adult. I know it's hard. I know when I get there it will be hard. But you're doing great. Chin up and remember one glass of wine won't affect the breastmilk.

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  4. Wishing you a day filled with dweewight :-) Hugs

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  5. It is days like that you need some "Mommy Juice." I really hope today is dweewightful for you guys and that the boys cool it for a bit.

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  6. I've spent the last two years of Judah's life feeling like I've failed. But... I haven't; it's just been really tough going.

    Helping to mold him into a respectful, kind, chivalrous, determined, moral man is worth all the slinging through the mud.

    Unfortunately, it IS muddy. And generally not fun.

    In the trenches with ya,
    Andrea

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  7. oh my goodness. I know kids, even the good ones, say stuff like that but I imagine it breaks your heart every time!

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  8. When Abs was in pre-K, I stopped answering the phone when the school would call. I didn't want to know. Once Abs pooped in her pants and wiped it all over the principal's office when they left her alone. Maybe I need to save for my own therapy?

    I'm so with you on everything though....

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  9. Some days the best we can say about them is that they end, and we get to start again in the morning. On days like that, when I put the Captain to sleep, I tell her that I'll try harder the next day.

    The thing you have to remember is that if you were a bad mother, you'd have these kinds of days all the time and either they wouldn't bother you or would be generally shocked that kids don't come with manners already installed. You're not a bad mother, and I'd be saving for college if I were you ;)

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  10. It's even worse when they get older and tell you that they hate you and you respond with, "Well, I'm not too fond of you right now either!" or "I love you but I don't like you very much right now."

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