Saturday, December 12, 2009

And its back

I posted about dash-2's stuttering before Thanksgiving. Shortly after I posted it he stopped doing it. Just as suddenly as it started it was gone.

SWEEEEEET, I thought, see ignoring it would fix the problem.

And then just the other day it started back again. How strange to start and stop like that. And then I thought a little more, cause I like to do that, think that is.

It stopped the night that flyboy came home..... and started back up the day he left again.

Now this could be a coincidence. {And I could wake up tomorrow a size four} Could being the magic word.

Now as I put two and two together in my head the first thing that ran thru my mind was, HOLY SHIT! We really did break him! {You'll remember that was my fear} Sweet jesus we broke him and he didn't come with a warranty.

At least I know that this is less a language thing since it comes and goes, not that it makes me feel any better about it. Flyboy says I shouldn't worry about it, but the mama in me feels bad. Something bothers my kiddo and I can't do much about it.

I've tried to talk to him some about daddy being away, how he has to come and go, but all I did was get that look. {the oh-look-her-mouth-is-moving look} Heart to heart talks with a three year old don't really go to far.

In fact over lunch all three of us talked about daddy being away and the suggestion by dash-1 was made that I could dress up like daddy and therefore they wouldn't miss him. I politely declined. I made the joke that I wouldn't be much like daddy and what kinda things does daddy do that mommy does.

I got the ones I was expecting, flies in airplanes, is a Marine, wears lots of green, wrestles with them, and then dash-1 proudly added "he pees standing up". Yes yes he does.

See this is where a heart to heart with my kids ends up. In the bathroom.

I think I'm just gonna let dash-2 stutter.

oh and before I forget, I'm looking for any suggestions or tips of someone who is also going thru something like this. Anyone else's kids have issues when a parent is away?

11 comments:

  1. Awww hang in there. I promise you didnt break him. My oldest went through a stuttering phase and once in awhile he still has it come back for no reason we can put our finger on. Wait a little while longer and see if you notice a pattern.
    As for when daddy is gone, do you guys have some cool routines to do just for when he is gone that Dash 2 can really look forward to? One of my friends does Sleep over night, where she and the kids grab pizza, build a fort and watch movies one night when Daddy is away. She also does breakfast at dinnertime complete with sticky syurpy pancakes. Just small special traditions that the kids look forward to only when Daddy is away. Any special routine or tradition Daddy can do to keep his presense there when he's gone? Record him reading a story and playing it for them at bedtime? Or having him write a letter to them for each day he is gone for you to dole out each day? Just thoughts that come to mind.

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  2. I love your childrens train of thought. From what I have heard you can always talk to your family readiness about getting in touch with a speech therapist that might help Dash-2 work through the stuttering while Flyboy is away. Just a thought. I don't know how often Flyboy's missions are, or how much he is able to phone/skype you guys. But like Rhaven said, maybe if Dash-2 could talk to him while he is away that may help. Good luck!!

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  3. That is something about the coincidence of the stuttering! One of my boys(6) tends to get really sad every now and then during a deployment and will have a teary outburst about nothing, which causes me to get frustrated, but then I realize it may have to do with Daddy, and when prodded it comes down to just that. It may be nothing at all, though. I know several moms who worried about intermittent stuttering but it disappeared just as quickly. Don't worry, you didn't break him, lol... maybe he's stuttering because he can't find a good way to tell you what a GREAT MOM you are??!! Hang in there girl!

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  4. Poor little guy. I wish I knew the magic answer.

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  5. I'm not a parent (good thing - don't want to commit kids to a life of therapy just yet), but I am a stutterer. I started stuttering when I was 6 when my dad went away on business. Been stuck with the disability for the past 24 years... It comes and goes, usually when I'm under stress. I'm at peace with it now, but it can be a self-esteem killer.

    Think about speech therapy - Dash-2 may thank you for it years from now.

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  6. So I talked to a speech therapist friend and she said it is common for stuttering to come and go based on situation/time of day/etc. She said that around 4 is when they would start working with kids to give them the skills to handle the stuttering. She said it is very easy to help them that early on, and it really isn't anything to worry about unless you leave it alone until he is a teenager.

    Here is some basic info she sent: http://www.speakeasy.org.au/stuttering.html

    By the way, I loved loved loved the Christmas pictures with dash-2 hamming it up. Seriously, they were just perfect!

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  7. My first assumption would have been the same as yours. Maybe you can test that theory a few more times? You won't stop being worried, but I think kids are resilient. They learn how to cope, and at 3 he's probably just figuring things out himself. I stand by my feeling that kids only need stable parents, and can handle the constant change our life brings. I have no experience in this area at all. I was military brat and came out the other side just fine, if that helps. Keep doing what you're doing, because your heart is in the right place. You're a good mom, and that's what really matters.

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  8. Oh and Casey's advice looks right on the money. I thought about what a speech therapist friend of mine has said before in similar situations and it sounds the same. My neighbor is actually having really good results from the military speech therapists too.

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  9. Pretty sure stuttering is relatively normal. I stuttered as child. I got over it.
    Brain couldn't keep up with my mouth. Psychologically, it is said that stress elevates any ailment-mental or physical.

    I'm sure it will pass :)

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  10. So we don't have kids, but my "baby" (our puppy) has major issues when daddy's gone. She pees on everything (be thankful that doesn't happen to you)! I started letting her bring her favorite stuffed animal to bed when he's gone and it's helped a little. I think it's mostly about comfort - just try to make sure the kids are as comfortable as possible and leave the rest up to the natural process that we all go through when missing our spouse/father/mother. It just plain sucks.

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  11. Sorry I'm just now getting caught up on reading...

    I'm very interested to hear whether you see it go away again when Flyboy comes back home...

    Bad news... it is looking like you will be away the whole time I will be in Philly. :( ::sheds a tear:: I am seriously bummed about that... :(

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