Monday, December 28, 2009

floods, ants, mice and whats next

We are headed home tomorrow.

For just over a week have taken the family show on the road and hopefully (weather permitting) tomorrow night my arse will be comfortable snuggled on my sleep number.

Which if you care is 35. Delightful.

Anyways as excited as I am to return home, I mean you read the second sentence right? Eight days on the road with family, home is looking mighty fine. However, I'm worried.

Am I worried about being in the car for 8 hours with two loudmouths and a baby who does not so much *heart* his car seat? Am I worried about the occasionally uptight Marine who will be driving? Am I worried about fitting everything in the car? Am I worried about gas prices and finding rest stops?


No I am worried about what I will find when I return home.

Indulge me as I recap the past few things waiting when we have returned home from various trips.

Last year my dear husband came home from a trip the night before I was going to come back home to find that a pipe behind the dishwasher has frozen and burst. Mess mess mess. But thankfully he found that one.

Coming home from a trip home in July was a two fold mess, one was the transmission on my car crapping out at the post office. Really it made it thru all the traffic and mountains to start its demise in the post office parking lot, the timing was great, I can at least look back and appreciate that.

And when I made it home and went to unpack guess what was waiting for me? A crap ton of ants in my underwear drawer They found dash-2's stash of potty treats, which have now been moved to a giant sealed glass jar in the playroom. Ants were everywhere. In my dresser, around my dresser, EVERYWHERE.

Then when I came home from a visit in September, I arrived home from my first solo roadtrip with three kiddos to find it raining. Inside my house. My center hallway to be exact.

It turns out a mouse had eaten thru a rubber water pipe.

{apparently they are designed for cold weather places since they expand to prevent bursting, yet not so useful in a 150+ year old farm house that has the occasional mouse or two}.

The damage was at least contained to the center hallways and so we didn't suffer much damage to our furniture or electronics but mess.

Oh the mess. The entire ceiling was ripped out, dried out, re-done, drywalled, plastered, it was an month long saga to get that sucker fixed up.

Our most recent experience happened after Thanksgiving I went to unpack my clothes and what did I find.... A MOUSE HAD BEEN IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!

Really. Are. You. Serious. Cause the ants weren't enough?

Turns out flyboy had hidden some giant lollipops in there.

{You have to understand, we have small boys, moms underwear drawer is a great hiding place. Though we have now come to the explicit understanding that food is no longer welcome there.}

However, I will say at least flyboy was there for that one. I can deal with rain in my house, I would not be able to deal with sticking my hand in my drawers and finding a mouse. {Thankfully the mouse apparently just ate and ran}

So as we get everything together to go home tomorrow you can see why I am a bit nervous.

We've gotten smarter, we turned off the water when we left, we unplugged every appliance imaginable, but both of us are afraid of what we could find. I'm hoping that we don't turn into our driveway with just a pile of ash and my underpants sitting there.

I mean my underroos have survived flood and pestilences why shouldn't I assume they could survive a fire?

And that's about all that's left to happen to the flyboy house.


  1. I've got my fingers crossed for you that everything is fine when you return home!

  2. I hope you return to a home that is so normal and nothing wrong. So normal that you walk around looking for something to be wrong and don't find it.

    Maybe ziploc bags of candy in mom's underwear drawer?

  3. I am soooooo sad that we will completely and totally miss one another on my trip to the north. :( We are leaving tomorrow (Wed) on our trek back south. Please tell me you are coming my way to visit your family?? Hopefully?

    Consider my fingers crossed that all is well with pipes, appliances and lingerie when you arrive home. :)

  4. Ewww... hopefully the flood, ants and mice are the group of "three" and you are done! I hope you can return home and nothing is wrong.

  5. Definitely hoping this trip is the one exception to the catastrophe prone returns home from the past!

  6. Wishing you a safe trip and a problem free house that you've returned home to.

  7. LOL! Oh I laugh with you and not at. Whiel we dont have little surprises when we return I can sympathize with you and your anxiety. It seems every time we leave for a trip we end up in ER for our middle son for one reason or another. It's become a morbid joke for the Mr. and I to start wondering what it will be "this time"?

    May you return home with no ants, mice, or anything else disastrous!

  8. Hope that you find your house as you left it!!! Glad you all had safe travels!

  9. Keeping my fingers crossed for a smooth return home.

  10. Keeping my fingers crossed for a smooth return home.

  11. Glad you didn't stash any Christmas cookies in there!

  12. ha ha ha - flood and pestulence. That's hilarious! Yeah so dead on...


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