Monday, August 23, 2010

Whats your ideal age?

I was doing some heavy reading today *ahem* US Weekly, serious reading folks.  Serious. 

There were some pics in there of bump watches, which I could give two shits about, but then again, in all honesty I could give two shits about everything in that magazine and no, no I can't explain why I would have wasted the money buying it.  My defense is that its fluff.  Fluff is nice sometimes.

I noticed a couple things, a. they hunt down pregnancies, the rumor of pregnancies and any sign of pregnancies like a hooker looks for a good street corner and b. they put plaster peoples ages all about. But it also had me wondering about age and pregnancy..... and what is the norm these days.

I was 24 when I had dash-1.  A mere baby myself by some people's standards.  22mths later dash-2 came along and then last year I was 3wks shy of 28 when I had what will probably be our last, dash-3. {somewhere flyboy is reading this about to administer his own vasectomy} So for now, most likely, the door closes on pregnancies for me with 30 right around the corner.

I know there are people out there who can't fathom popping out 3 kids before 30.  We wanted to have our kids while we were young.  {Flyboy is 2 years older if you must know}  Now I know your saying "but 40 isn't old!" {I saw a lot of baby bump watching of 40 yr olds} and you're right.  40 isn't old.  In fact I hear its the new 20, but see, flyboy and I want to enjoy our life after kids. 

BECAUSE THERE IS APPARENTLY LIFE AFTER KIDS! {cue the singing angels}

That means enjoying watching them grow up, watching them become adults, watching them raise their kids, travel together, making up for all this hard work and time apart.  We figured that we could spend time together before we had kids or after we had kids.... we figured we'd appreciate it more afterwards.

I had 2 tough pregnancies and 1 easy one. I couldn't imagine doing that to my body past my 30's.  Much like I couldn't imagine doing these sleepless nights and butt early mornings in my 40's.  No thanks.  In my 40's I want to be freezing my ass off watching soccer on a friday night at my kids high school. 

Everyone has their own rhyme or reason.  I'm curious what's your thinking.

When's your ideal age to have kids?  Do you want them earlier or later? Younger or older? Close together or spaced out?

29 comments:

  1. I had my first at 18, my second at 19 and my third at 23. I have always said that if we have anymore (no thank you, but if) they better be done cookin' and out of the oven before I turn 30! I do not want any kids past 30 for the same reason as you KS and I are REALLY looking forward to our life after kids. I will be 37 and 38 when my boys graduate high school and 42 when Cayleigh-Grace graduates. KS and I have never had time to ourselves, we were married 6 months when Kiale was born, so life after kids is something we are looking forward to very very much. The spacing for all 3 of my kids is perfect for us, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

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  2. I wanted a whole gaggle of kiddos...like 5-6 in a 10 year span. However, my body had a different idea. After lots of tests, procedures, fertility meds and shots in the behind, I finally got pregnant via IVF. I was pregnant with 3 precious babes, but lost 2 of them. My one miracle babe is truly a miracle. He'll be our one and only. My dream of having a gaggle was just a dream...and I'm so blessed with my reality.

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  3. Hmmmm....I had Em at 25, Abs at 28/29, and Junior at 34. We didn't plan well. In two years we will have a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a first grader. CRAZY!

    That being said, I have two old enough to help out. Junior was born when Gunner was deployed, and the girls were a lifesaver. I could potty and Em would hold him. Where was that the first baby?

    The hard part is that now we have three such different ages, and they all want to go different directions, and usually there is just me at home, which means we do a little of something, but a whole lot of nothing. If I can time swimming lessons for all three at once, then sign me up. If I had to sit there for three hours, I might keel over.

    I wouldn't change it, and we had time before the kids to do some things, and the rest will come after. He says he'll dress me in funny clothes and parade me around. If that isn't true love...

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  4. I had my first when I was 23 and just had my second at 26. Most of my friends are in their 30's and had kids in their 30's. They really struggled to lose the baby weight, but my body bounced right back without diet or exercise. Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but I think my youth helped. I can't imagine having a baby at 40. No way. I want to be a great grandmother some day....

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  5. I started EARLY. I had Robbie at 17 and Michael at 20. Hubs and i are on the fence about trying for a girl, but i do know i don't want kids after 25. I know that's young but when I'm 40yrs old Robbie will be 23 and Michael will be 20. And hubs and i can enjoy an empty nest.

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  6. I had my first at 26. Don't know when I'll have my second yet. But two is it for me. IT. And I definately want to be done with that before 30. For one, Paul is 5 years old than I. And two, the one makes me feel old. I can't imagine having newborns when in your 40s. It's exhausting in my 'prime.'

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  7. I had Little M at 26 and am hoping to have our second {and probably last} when I am 28. I too want to be done with kids by the time I'm 30 as well. My husband will be able to retire by 50 the latest and we will be happy to have our kids out of college by then so we can travel the world! {or just sleep in and go to the bathroom with the door closed, haha}

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  8. :) In a few weeks I'm turning 26. I always wanted to be done birthin' babies by 25...and we're still just the two of us. Now I'm trying to move my dead line to 30...but we're getting close!

    For all the same reasons as you. My parents STARTED having kids at 30! They'll be 60 when they send my brother (the youngest) to college! Not for me, thank you.

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  9. I really didn't have an ideal age for kids but I knew I didn't want to have them as a single mom so I waited until I got married. Since I didn't get married until I was 32, I'll be 34 when our first kid in born in November.

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  10. I had my one and only at 38 (my husband was 51). I got married late in life, and luckily had no probs getting pregnant. But it is harder having a kid when you're older. I stopped at one. My husband realized how old he'd be before he could retire, and we decided not to have any more! This wasn't a choice I wanted, but it just took me a long time to meet my love.

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  11. I'm 28 and don't have kids yet. I know without a doubt that I want to have two kids, and ideally, would have had at least one by now. But life had other plans for me, and it's unlikely I'd have any before I'm 30.

    So I don't know what my ideal age will be, but I would like to be able to enjoy life (especially married life) before and after kids.

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  12. When you first said "bump watches" I was wondering what in the world that was. I was thinking some new way to tell time ;-)

    I had my first at 25 and will have baby #2 at 27. I wasn't married until *almost* 24. My original plan was to have 3 by 30. But after the first that changed to 1 ever and now we are expecting #2. So much for plans, huh?

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  13. Ideally, I would have had one in the next year or two. But, I married Scott before deciding exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and now I have 2 more years of school before I can start working a "big girl" job. I refuse to have kids before that time (unless it's a surprise pregnancy) so , now I'm just hoping to have at least the first one before I'm 30. I wanted to be a "young" mom because my parents were in their 40's when they had me. My whole family has been "old" since I was little so I haven't been able to get to know people as well before they died. So, I wanted it to be different with our kids.

    Lord willing, I'll start nursing school when I'm 25, be finished at 27, and have at least popped out one of two kids by 30. Here's hoping! Oh, and I'd prefer them to be closer (just because of my age thing). I have a brother that is 16 months older than me and a sister that is 13 years older than me... so I know both sides of the story and I don't think one is necessarily better than the other!

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  14. Daniel and I knew we wanted to have our kids when we were young and we wanted them close together. Eve was born when I was 22, 25 with Judah, and 27 with Eliza. The didn't coma as closely as we would have liked but God's timing is perfect :)

    Honestly our plan was based on the fact that yes, we did indeed want to have children but we want to enjoy life together also. So we had them young so we could get them out and still be able to live out some of our other dreams.

    If Eliza, who is the youngest, leaves at 18, we'll be 45. Not too shabby!

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  15. I was 22 when I had the Wee One and he is 26 months older than Baby Girl. We knew we wanted kids early in life because we had to many friends whose parents could pass for their grandparents when they were in High School. We definitely want to be siting on a beach BY OURSELVES when we are in our 60's, NOT freezing outside at a high school soccer game (unless our kids have kids by then).

    I would LOVE to have at least one more child, but that is still up for debate. However, we like having the kids close in age that way they can play together and enjoy each others company (sometimes).

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  16. I had my first at 19, then my second when I was 22 and the third will be here when I'm 24 and I am SO done. I'm exhausted emotionally and physically, 3 is PLENTY

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  17. Great post! I've been thinking about this A LOT lately. My bf and I (both 24) want at least 3 kids. We're not married yet but we've talked about getting pregnant because we don't want to be pushing 30 when the first kid pops out. I know having a child out of wedlock is looked down upon... But we've talked and we'd work it out if we accidentally get pregnant before we're married. I started taking prenatal vitamins just in case. Guess I'm a little excited! haha!

    Any thoughts or advice?? Thanks :)

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  18. Ha! The answer to that one keeps getting blow out of the water for me. I'm already past my "ideal" age, so at this point although it's not what I would have deemed perfect, I'm considering any age at which I get to become a mom as just about perfect.

    But to answer the question in hindsight, I would say 33ish. I think I would have made a better mom in my 30's than in my 20's and although I'm in better physical shape now (in my very late 30s) than I have ever been, it would have been my preference to not be tackling it all in my 40's as I'll be seeing my friends getting their life back after children.

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  19. Bear was born when I was 23 and Monkey came when I was 25. It's a little younger than I had planned. I had always thought the 26 & 28 ages were ideal. Hubby is 5 years older than I am though. I think it makes a difference how old your spouse is.

    My cut off is 30. Randomly, it was my mom's too. I have some friends that don't have kids yet and their cut offs are 35.

    My ages worked out perfectly though. I finished up my schooling before they came, but I'm young enough to really get down and play. It seems a lot of mil families have kids younger than my other friends. Just a different world all together.

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  20. I would love to be 30 when we are done. But realistically, well...time is a tickin'! I am 25 right now, and my goal is to at least be cookin' #1 by my 27th birthday. We want out children really close together, but I still don't think we would get all 3 in before my 30th! Unless I have triplets....ha! In a perfect world (ha!) we would have three 31. We will still be young enough to chase after them and young enough to enjoy being empty nesters, but not so young that I would worry that we were sacrificing our newlywed time just "us".

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  21. This is so timely for me! The husband has been heavily hinting that it would be totally fine by him if we got pregnant soon. I'm 25; he's 26. I'm thinking I'll just have to be semi-permanently pregnant over the next few years to be totally finished by 30!

    I do worry though...so many couples really struggle with pregnancy...plus the money, and I want to go back to school, and....etc. etc.

    So, do I wait? I think about this EXACT issue ALL the time!

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  22. It took me a long time to find "the one" and after I did the military sent my husband out of town for 16 of our first 21 months of marriage. So much for "us" time before the kids arrive. At this point, I just hope that when he does come home we can get pregnant. It would be a perfect 35th birthday present.

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  23. I'm 25 now - and not engaged yet....(soon one hopes!) - so I'm betting there are several more years down the road before there are any babies in my belly - but if I could name my ideal time to have one I would say about 26. Really any time between 24-26. That way you're still on the "young" side....and can enjoy stuff with your kids - and still enjoy "life after kids". :)

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  24. I think it depends on whats good for you. I didn't want to be 30 having kids but then again I didn't want to get married at 25 and start popping them out right away. I wanted to spend time with my husband. At this point, who knows for me..Sometimes I want a child, other times I just want a big flat screen telly. I don't know. I think it depends on whats good for the person and what works for their lifestyle :)

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  25. I just had my first at 26 (I would have liked to start earlier but that wasn't really possible being on sea duty). We would like to have four and I would like to be done by 35 ... so that there was no more than about 10 years between the oldest and youngest. However, we'll see what plans God has in store for us.

    My parents were 23 when I was born and they have been empty nesters for pretty much 5 years already. My sister and I were 17 months apart. I would like my kids to be close in age ... again we'll see what happens. LO is almost 8 months now.

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  26. 26 or 27, enough to have traveled with the husband, completed my Masters and worked some. My mom had me at 23 and she is an empty nester at 46 and can travel but I want to travel now. Im conflicted. Who knows, God laughs at our plans so we'll see when it will all happen.

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  27. I had my first at 32, 2nd at 35 and 3rd at 38. Not the original plan, I was hoping to be done with babies by age 32 but fertility issues had other plans. We had 5+ years of being a married couple before having kids. I think the ideal age for having kids would be 25-30, I think physically it would be a lot easier. Although it wasn't our original plan, I really enjoyed our "couple time" before we had kids.

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  28. Well, I actually didn't want kids at first. Then considering I didn't even meet DH until I was 27, and it took a bit of convincing on his part, and then deployments and TADs had to get out of the way before we even made the attempt. By then I was 29, and then two years of failure before we had the Captain. I told DH no more after 35 (more a state of extra testing, higher miscarriage rates and more birth defects risk than anything else), so we figured we'd start trying for a First Mate shortly after my 33rd birthday, planning for the 2 year failure rate. Hmm. Nope. After this, one of us is getting fixed. And I have no problem with it being me.

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  29. I got married at 20, and we just celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

    Since Matt is Navy and currently working on his 3 year sea-tour, we're planning on trying during our (his, sorry) upcoming shore-tour. We've got about 2 years before that happens, with likely only 1 deployment in there. Two years sounds like a long time, but LOGICALLY I feel that getting pregnant anywhere near a 7 month deployment would suck royally. I don't want to be pregnant OR give birth with Matt gone. And I want him to be around for the first two years of our kiddo's life (if it works out that way).

    So with all that in mind, I guess we'll try to get a baby growing around age 25 for me, 28 for Matt. :] Our limit is 2 right now; we'll see what happens.

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