Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Get your forks ready!

It's parental crow eating time!

Speaking of crow, I'm just realizing I haven't seen or heard our rooster in a couple of days. I should look into that.... perhaps there is a trail of feathers around the farm I've been missing.

Sorry, the bird reference made me think of that. That's how my mind works.  Drives flyboy crazy, I can't imagine why.

Anyways, the post at hand.  New Girl On Post got me thinking, she did a post a day or two ago about kids and electronics. She said that she's observed kids on electronics almost everywhere and what were peoples opinions. 

A lot of commentors admitted to being without kids seemed to be the most against it.  Those of us with kids admit that we wished we didn't, but from time to time we do use it somewhat as a babysitter, grocery store, waiting room, situations like that.

We all seemed to be in agreement about absolute no zones, ie church.

This made me think about parental crow.  What is that you ask? All the things that we parents have said our kids would NEVER EVER do, eat, wear, and the list goes on and on.

On of my biggest parental crow offenses is the dvd in the car.  I swore my kids would never watch movies in the car, after all I had to read a book or look out the window.  {Typically look out the window because reading made me puke.}

Then I had kids.  Plural.  Cause with just one they don't have anyone to fight with.  I had kids, I did a lot of long drives, I spent a lot of time by myself with my kids and all I wanted was some quiet.  

Enter car dvd player.

<cue angels singing

Silence.  For periods of time. Delightful.  Seriously, if I could find the person who said, "Hey Bob, let's mount the dvd player IN the car.  And headphones, let's add wireless headphones!"  I would nominate them for a Nobel peace prize. {I know I've done a post in the past about how this really is deserving of one, its just how strongly I feel about it}

I get that kids need to learn to function without distractions of tv or DS or those kind of things, got it.  My kids do plenty of playing outside, digging in dirt, reading books, counting, drawing, playdough, you know the good old fashion stuff, but there comes a time, that quiet is needed.

Total, all encompassing quiet.

I have been told by one or two people without kids that they find the phrase, "once you have kids you'll understand" very offensive.  Well.... I don't know how else to put it.  We all had ideas of what we would do and some things that's held true, dammit if none of them are coming to mind short of no drinking or hookers.

I said my kids would never pee outside, well now we live on a farm and have three little boys. Make plans, God laughs. There is so much outside peeing you'd think I lived in a zoo.

I said they'd eat veggies, well they aren't so much veggie eaters but we have to buy our fruit at S*m's club to keep enough for everyone.

I said they'd never have electronic games but our friends gave Dash-1 an almost brand new DS that their daughter really didn't use anymore and its perfect for dr's appts.

I said I'd never yell at my kids.  I had to collect myself after typing that one, once we've left the cute toddler stage that one didn't last long.

Parental crow.  That's it folks.  I've eaten a lot of it and I'm only 5 1/2 years into this game.

What's your crow? Come on..... we all have some.....

21 comments:

  1. Hahaha. And you were worried about anonymity making you generic, or something. You're as real as it gets. :)

    I used to be "What the crap? DVD players in cars?" Until a friend of mine and I were at a coffee shop late one evening. Her little one was getting...sleepy/cranky. So she pulled her car up next to us, rolled down the windows, put him in his car seat and plugged in the DVD player. Next thing you know, he's out like a light and we're free to enjoy another 45 minutes of adult conversation.

    All things in moderation.

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  2. THAT KID IS NOT, I REPEAT- NOT sleeping in our bed!! Nursing+Csection+gallbladder surgery+deployment= That 'kid' does in fact sleep in our bed.

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  3. OK, before I get to my "crow" I should tell you that I had never thought about car rides before I was a Mom. I never realized how LOUD 3 boys can get, even just 2 were bad. We bought our Suburban back in '01. Of course, we couldn't afford the optional DVD player, so we made do with what we had. Space! We made frequent trips from VA to New England and we had it down to a science. Fold the middle seat down, all car seats go in the third row. Haul the 19" bedroom TV out to the truck, plug it into the inverter along with a DVD player or playstation and voila!

    It got really bad when the kids decided they couldn't agree and we made a trip with TWO TV's back there, of course nobody could hear anything so the TV's kept getting turned up. That made for a horrendous headache by the time we hit the Jersey Pike.

    OK, and now for my "crow". T-shirts with graphics. I held out as long as I could. No pictures of any sort on the shirts. They could have stripes, plaid, solid... but no graphics. No Elmo, Barney or Hot Wheels. I had my first in '96 and I didn't buy my first graphic t-shirt until 2004. 8 years! That's pretty good right? Now it's all my 13 y/o will wear, it's "his thing". Ugh.

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  4. LOL...Einstein grew up on a farm. In a family with three boys. And as he says, he didn't pee inside until he left home. :-)

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  5. I do it all. When I had my first baby, there were a lot of things I swore I wouldn't do. We have a DVD player for the car. My kids all have a leapster. Sometimes there are things that I need to get done and the tv goes on. It's not like you can let your kids run around wild where I live--although Junior pointed out a group of kids 2-4 that were running all over the streets and playground with no mommy or daddy. My favorite saying is "Different parents, different rules!"

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  6. I have learned through the years to "Never say never"
    We've all been there, and you just don't know what you'll do until you walk in those shoes.
    We live and learn.. and eat plenty of crow.
    You pick your battles, sometimes peace and quiet is worth the sacrifice you make.

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  7. I think I wrote a blog about this awhile ago! :) I don't have kids, but have come to realize from talking to other parents that I should "never say never" because it's probably 80x more difficult than it looks.

    I laughed at the DVD-in-the-car thing, because Rob and I frequently will discuss how lucky kids are nowadays to have those! I remember our trips from Maine to New Jersey in a tiny Saturn (with 3 girls and my dad) to be absolutely agonizing. Rob had to ride with his mom, his dad, his little sister who demanded to hear the Lion King soundtrack over and over and over ad nauseum (and who got her way!), his older brother, and their obese, blind basset hound. We have total car trip angst even today (we both get cranky in the car after a long period)! We always talk about how we'll definitely have them for our kids in our car, more for them than for us, though from what you say I think we'll enjoy it too :)

    I always wonder about those "leashes" for kids. Looking at them as a parentless person they seem pretty...strange, I guess, but after spending so much time in airports and seeing countless families with 4 small children I can see how a parent would use one, at least in moderation.

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  8. ha ha my son totally pees outside sometimes, and i just have to laugh, now he is only 4, I will not want to see him doing that at 12 but for now it's okay. Our's was they WILL BE on this schedule blah blah blah, we do have a schedule but it's nothing at all like I thought it would be, you just have to go with the flow :)

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  9. LOL I can so relate! And, yes, it's true - until you have kids, you never know what you will do. We've held off on the DVD player in the car (Dylan is only 1 though and will only watch about 2 minutes of tv). But...I said just months ago that eating would only be at the table. Ha! My living room floor is covered in Cheerios. ;)

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  10. Okay here is mine, my parents would trash toys stuffies whatever was on the floor if I wouldn't clean my room in a desired amount of time, and I swore I would never take away my kids toys from them... well what do you know if they cant clean their room within a certain amount of time ALL of their toys get neatly put away in all their totes and are not allowed to come out of the closets for quite a while. Basically I take all their toys away, they get them back eventually so technically I am not throwing them away like my Mom did but still. Its along the same lines.

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  11. My phone doesn't do really cool things, but it is an MP3 player. Best invention ever. I loaded it up with her songs and she holds it through the grocery store or wherever else I need her to behave and she just grooves along. Ahhh, sanity.

    I didn't think I'd let her watch TV, and she does. Not a lot but enough to keep everyone's sanity. And I'm with you on the DVD player. We have a portable one that's coming with us on the plane. She won't wear headphones yet but I dare anybody to make a comment about it. Cause it's either you hear the Backyardigans or Elmo, or screaming baby on an airplane. Your choice, people.

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  12. The child leash. Not going to happen. (Lord willing.) I have chased after my son in the zoo, pulled him to me, gotten in his face and through gritted teeth told him that if he ever runs again he will never go to the zoo again, and then strap him in his stroller and allowed him to wail. Not the best feel good parenting moment. (I've learned that a little pinch to get attention in public workds great. Again, not a proud parenting moment but sometimes necessary.)
    I'm all for the DVD player. )And we only have 1 kid.) He's usually fine with entertaining himself, or we'll play all hunt for cows or something on roadtrips, but he usually gets at least one movie on every road trip. But, we do not do movies on just a drive to town, which I know some parents do... even with only 1 kid.

    And we have also reached to times where our son plays with my husbands iPod touch. If we're out to dinner and he just won't be calm. Or if he has to accompany us to bible study, we'll let him play while the adults discuss the study.
    SO, he does get to use those things, but just in moderation. Moderation is good.
    So is a movie marathon with the hubs is away, I'm sick and the little boy cannot be calm. Movies are a great sedative.

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  13. I am pretty sure that I ate every single last word that I said before kids. What is more fun is watching my sister eat her words now that she is a mom. THings she would comment about my kids! LOL! I remember saying that my kids would not have a tv in their room. Tyler has one b/c I got tired of watching their crap! Heck when it is -15 below outside, something has to entertain them. You can only do so much inside! HA!! BUt it is still kept in moderation.

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  14. I used to hate it when people used the "when you have kids you'll understand" line on me. I was all like, "I babysat constantly in highschool! I have younger cousins! I get it!". Ha. Hahaha. It's kind of like how you think your parents are idiots when you're a teenager and then, slowly, as you enter your 30s you begin to realize they were right about almost everything ;)

    Anyway. I always said my kids would never have sugary cereals or treats. ppftt. In fact, so much of that has changed with every new baby. Baby #1: I made all the food in the processor myself, he never touched a cookie until after his first birthday, I would have died before I let him eat fast food as a toddler....Baby #3: ate an Oreo before she had teeth :P

    You know how it is!

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  15. Cracking up, as always :) Thanks for always keeping it real!

    I'm not quite to the DVD player in the car yet, though I'm not quite a year into this whole parent thing, so I'm sure I'll have one soon! But I DID say that I wouldn't be THAT mom who popped the paci in her child's mouth whenever they got into the car. Ummm, I'm that mom! After a week of trying to go without it, I'm back on the bandwagon :)

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  16. When I was about 4 or 5 I'm not 27 so this goes back a ways we drove to florida and Va a couple of times from NY. Our friends had this little protable tv player that got basic channels with an antena so my dad borrowed it duct taped it to the seat and hooked up a normal vcr and recorded all our favorite shows (at the time peewee herman and full house) and we watched it the whole way. Granted there was duct tape stuck to our chevy wagon for years it kept us quiet for the 24 hour drive.

    I'm pretty sure I said I would be an awesome mom and well I'm eating those words now I have falled short of my own expectations. I'm a good mom but could be better.

    Ohh and we drove all the way to disney last year with no tv Chuck E Cheese tickets entertained them for hours

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  17. I was going to comment on New Girl's post but I didn't really care to read the backlash I would have gotten. Most of the women who commented were childless or had very small children. They have the best intentions, but really do not live in our reality. My 9 yr old plays his DS a lot. He also can be heard in his room playing imaginative games and he also reads. My son does not have a weight problem so I do not see any problem with forcing him to "play outside". My son performs really well in school and also reads at a level between 5th and 6th grades. He just started 4th grade. He doesn't use it at dinner time unless we are waiting for food. What kid wants to listen to adult conversation? Until my son's school performance goes down, becomes overweight, and can't participate in a conversation, he can play with his electronics.

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  18. oh i don't have kids and I'M a HUGE fan of DVDs in cars! 12 hours in a car driving with 10 people all crammed into a van... we've got at least 3 DVD players scattered around with as many new movies as we can find. DVDs make everything better. :]

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  19. Reading the comments I was reminded (thanks Caitlin) of another one of my failures, lol. The leash. I SOOOOOO looked down on parents who had kid leashes. I SWORE I would never use one. My first son... angelic, never gave me a hard time. My second son.... terror, ran away everytime he had a chance; he would pull some Houdini crap, and POOF!. But still, I held my ground. No leash. I knew I just had to be more attentive. OK, here comes child #3 in less than 4 years, and all of a sudden my husband is deployed. Grocery shopping with two toddlers and a newborn is not easy, but when you have a "middle kid" like Z.... well, I gave up. It was either buy a leash or have no groceries until DH came home to help me shop. Sooooo, I bought a leash. I can honestly say I only used it a handful of times because I hated myself for even owning it, but there you have it. I am a Leash-Mother.

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  20. This is such a great post!

    Let's see...I wasn't going to use a stroller (WHAT?) ya that was a crazy one. No pacifiers for us. Although they haven't been super popular in our house they were used.

    I know I have more but can't think right now.

    I just have to laugh inside when I hear non-moms or moms of just babies say "I would never..." But only because I use to be that person.

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  21. I'm all about the leash. I need two hands to do stuff. And the child knows how much freedom he or she has. It seems to decrease the fits -- at least in my family.

    My mom bought the DVD player for us before we moved from the Midwest to the Southwest, only a 1200 mile trip. I heard "Are we there yet?" only one night (when we were behind schedule to reach the first night's motel).

    My parental eating crow is "I will never feed my children during church." You know, the little snacks, Cheerios in a container, or whatnot. But as it turns out, My Hero works every single Sunday and I'm at church with 6 sidekicks. And they're supposed to sit quietly for an hour. Three of the sidekicks are 4 or younger. The two oldest are old enough to sit and listen or read scriptures. The third one is old enough to amuse himself by looking at books or drawing. Technically, the fourth one is old enough to do that as well.

    But numbers 5 and 6 can't sit still for 10 minutes. Much less more than an hour. So out come the snacks.

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