pregnant cows and soul mates

You know it's true love, that it's meant to be when a simple conversation with them brightens your day. When you talk with them for 20 minutes and you feel recharged.

You know it's true love when it's a conversation about pregnant cows, expanding milk udders (theirs not mine), mulch, three day prek vs. five day, my frustrations with the ob/gyn department and an upcoming glucose test, one child who won't sleep, and the other who has started adding.

Nothing particularly exciting, nothing at all even slightly romantic, but it's enough to keep us going. To remind us that the other one is out there and that at the end of the day, we obviously were meant to be.

That is how I know I am lucky enough to be with my soul mate. And that's how I know I'll survive the rest of this trip that just seems to keep going on. Because we'll keep going on.

Pay it forward

I saw this on -Sarah's :-) page and thought it was a great idea.

Goodness knows that the world could use a little happiness spread around. And really people it doesn't take much to make someone smile. Hold a door for someone, pay someone a genuine compliment, let a car go in front of you in traffic. It's terribly difficult.

And now it's coming to the blogosphere!

The rules are:
The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a small gift from me within one month!
You must be willing to host a pay it forward too! As well as send the gifts out to your recipients within a month.
Post this same thing on your blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in! Please remember to leave me your e-mail! (or have your email on your page or something)

And now back to my words, I hope people won't let having to come up with three things to send stop them. It doesn't have to cost a lot, happiness is not dependent on cost or creativity.

It can be something small from where you live (or are stationed) something yummy from your kitchen, something funky, sweet, smell goody, whatever. Just something to make someone smile. And I know that we are all like my 4 year old and get giddy when we get mail.

Mail that isnt a bill that is.

Love changes

Amanda from Lifelong Playdate left me a funny comment on my post asking what your romance was on a scale from 1-10.

"depends on the day for us. most days don't require a hose. but my heart gets all racy like when we remembers to take out the trash.

does that count?"

Funny how love changes over time.

When I was dating flyboy or first married I would have replied immediately no that doesn't count are you crazy. But now I am at a different place in life.

A better place if you ask me.

Romance doesn't have to be sweaty sex or underwear that he thinks is sexy but really dental floss would offer more coverage. It doesn't have to be a dozen roses for no reason, it doesn't have to be coming home from work and sweeping me off my feet and carrying me off to the bedroom.

The winters up here are beautiful, but for a girl from an area that considers two inches of snow a major storm they can seem brutal. Storms up here drop 8 inches as the norm. Every other week.

Thats a lot of digging out to do.

Flyboy leaves early for work, usually between 6-6:30. Before he leaves for work he scraps the walkway, the stairs, his car. He usually always digs out my car and scraps it as well.

One day he didn't get to it. There was a lot of snow so it took him a lot longer then he anticipated to get everything else done and his car out. No big deal, I told him I didn't have anywhere to be and I was a rather capable person. After all nine times out of ten he's away when it snows so I'm doing it anyways.

Well who do I see at lunch time, then my dear flyboy. Home to scrap my car and shovel it out.

That my friends made my heart race.

It also makes my heart race when he changes and disposes of a poopy diaper, kills large spiders for me, and loads my ipod.

library find

The boys and I have recently discovered the nice little, I mean really little, library over in our village. It doesn't have much in the way of books for me (however you can order them from other libraries in the system) but it has an amazing children's section.

We love books in our house. I want them to have books that they have grown up reading but seriously, this pace must slow down. The bookshelves are full and well I can either save for college or keep buying my kids book. So we investigated the library.

We took this book out yesterday and it's fast become a favorite. Its a great little book about the relationship between a cub and his daddy (in case you couldnt tell from the cover).

Kinda strange having mom read it I suppose, but I thought it would be nice for the boys to read while daddy is away. To see all the fun stuff they can do with daddy when he gets home.... before he leaves again in a few days.

This is a good book for all of you with husbands here and there or for those of you with husbands home everynight to tuck in the little ones.This would make a great fathers day or coming home present. Especially with some little hand prints in the cover to dedicated it to the big guy.

Dash-2 roared the whole time and kept saying "dada dada" but Dash-1 got really into it. Every page he would talk about the stuff that him and flyboy do, how strong his daddy is, and how one day he's going to be just like him. Be still my heart on that one.

This maybe one library find that I buy for our shelves. Damn it the library is supposed to be saving me money!

A time for thanks

Dash-1 and I went on an adventure today. Or at least that's what I was telling him when I snatched him out of bed and tossed him in the car at 6:30 this morning. We made it to the ID post before he realized that our adventure was a trip to the allergist at Walter Reed. He told me quite eloquently that my adventures sucked. (side note: apparently that's now another word I should remove from my vocabulary)

His visit went as expected, still has lots of allergies, I certainly didn't expect that to change, but the more you know they more you can anticipate and plan accordingly. He was a trooper thru yet another round of testing and thankfully we have a few months to wait before our next "adventure". I'll have to come up with another way to lure him into the car before then.

As I drove home from WR today, I missed my husband. I wished he was here to hold our screaming child while he was pricked over and over, but I couldn't get the pictures of the young soldiers rolling down the hallways holding the hands of their wives facing much more then us.

I am thankful that my husband came home to me unharmed. I am thankful that despite all those days and nights filled with worry and fear, I did not have to face life with those fears realized.

I am thankful that my husband is able to pick me up and swing me around when he comes home. (It sounds corny but yes, yes it happens more often then people would think around here).

I am thankful that my husband is able to get on the floor and wrestle with my boys. As babies he tossed them into the air, he carries them on his back, and now he tosses a football around with them in the front yard.

I am thankful that for whatever awfulness he saw, it has not taken over who he is.

I am so very thankful for my sweet family and how lucky we are to have all that we have. And I am so very thankful for those who are facing much greater trials and tribulations then I could possibly understand.

In the still of the night

The other night my dear dash-1 would not go to bed. Bedtime is sacred in our house and usually the little ones know that they will not win a battle of wills after 7:15 pm and really, there is no point in trying. Dash-2 went right off to sleep, curled up with his monkey and his favorite fish quilt from grandma in his new big boy bed. The other one... well the other one had other plans.

Dash-1 kept checking on the ground hogs out of his window, counted the number of birds on the telephone poll, watched an ant crawl across the window pane, went to the bathroom 5 times for no show pee, and requested a nighttime snack twice. By 9:30 I should have been torqued but for some reason it just didn't bother me.

I saw the humor in it. I found his excuses to get out of bed funny (just had to make sure flyboy turned the bath tub off correctly 2 1/2 hours prior), I saw the twinkle in his eye as he thought he might get one over on me and thought it was just amusing. Life is short, let the little one win one every now and again. So we checked the water. And then I strayed from my usual modus operandi.

We curled into the comfy chair (my beloved armchair glider) got a blanket and watched us some Top Chef in the dark. There we sat, slightly rocking, next to the open windows, getting a nice cool breeze, smelling the sweet farm smells of freshly bailed hay and had cuddle time. We looked at some stars, watched the clouds move across the moon and made icky faces at some of the weird concoctions they created on Top Chef (really who would eat some of that stuff).

This is in no way going to be an everyday thing. Bedtime is still sacred, very sacred in this house. But I also need to learn to slow down. Enjoy the moments that life puts before me instead of rushing to stay to some schedule. I find myself moving so quickly sometimes, trying to balance everything, to not crack under pressure and in doing so putting more pressure on my shoulders that inevitably I crack.

I am trying my best to Stop. Slow down. Enjoy the moments. Enjoy my children. And let them feel the love that I have for them.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all!

Hope everyone is able to enjoy the day with family and friends! And those who can't be with us, may they be in our hearts.

We miss you flyboy, we'll see you soonish and we might even save you an easter egg or two!

Three years ago yesterday I was lucky enough to become a mommy. We didn't have any idea what we were about to embark on. Parenthood has been more then we expected, more work, more stress, more gut wrenching, but much more importantly its been more joy, more smiles, more love, more kisses, more hugs, more of all the good stuff we could only imagine.

Dash-1 was a beautiful baby. He had wispy blonde hair, giant blue eyes, a huge perfectly round head, and delicate pale Irish skin. He was a definate keeper. He was also a "tester". He had colic and severe reflux and would cry for hours and hours his first year of life. He slept in hour long snippets and it wasnt until he was 13 months that he slept thru the night or really took a nap. But he was then like he is now, a people person. Take him around people and he would turn on the charm. Smile, coo, blow kisses.... anything for a smile back.

Three years ago.... where has the time gone? Now my baby isnt a baby.

He's a little boy. He likes to pick his nose and wipe it on me, he loves a good fart joke, he likes to put on "aftershave" so he smells like daddy. Sigh. Such a little man. My little man, my social butterfly. Sometimes when I peak in on him at night I see that newborn face, I see his chest rise and fall and I remember when, just for sleeps sake, I would hold him on the couch all night, his warm little breath on my neck. I enjoyed the baby days, but its so exciting to watch them grow up and develop into spirited little ones. Its been such a gift to get to watch Dash-1 grow and explore and develop.

Happy birthday my sweet! Your first three years have been breath takingly amazing, I cant wait to see what the next many have in store for you.

makes it all worth it

16 hours in the car

43 potty stops

17 "are we in Georgia yet?"

LOTS of money in gas

walking with daddy.... worth it all

be my best friend forever?

How could any mother turn down that request from the most adorable blond haired blue eyed two year old? Having my little one look up at me with his big eyes gleaming and then reach out to hold my hand makes all the trials of motherhood worth it.

The big ONE

My baby is one.

As of 11:44 am today. Geez that year FLEW by. Don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of nights at 12:30, 1:45, 2:20, 4:30, and 5:15 that I thought for a moment it wasn't going fast enough. But now here we are a whole year later. Dash-2 is an excellent little guy, hes not nearly as intense as his brother. He's much more interested in sitting back and taking everything in. Now this being said, he's just as active as Dash-1, just as much of a handful, but in a much different way. I thought it would take time before I would see the difference in them but the second they handed me my little bundle I could see his personality. Very laid back, very chill, but with that twinkle in his eye letting you know that he knows how to get you if he needs too. And now as he's getting bigger and starting to really move on his own he's not quite as cuddly. The world is more exciting for him to explore on his own.

It's tough as a momma. You want them to grow up but you want them to stay little and in your arms forever. You know its your job to help them grow and become good, strong, responsible young men. Raise them up and then send them off to find their place in life but I didn't realize it would be so hard. And my baby is only one! Hardly ready to strike off on his own!

Thank you Dash-2 for blessing my life this year! And thank you God for the blessings of two little beautiful boys.

Happy Birthday my little love

It must be hard for him too.

We had the first real snow of the season a few days ago. Nothing major for us here, only about three inches or so, but for Dash-1 you would have thought it was a winter wonderland. Last year he wasn't as into the snow, he didn't want to get all dressed up to go out and play in it despite how excited hubby was. And for Dash-2 well he was just an itty bitty thing so no snow play for him either. Well this year Dash-1 saw the snow and actually started to undress in the hallway, right then and there. So of course I got the boys all bundled up and out we went. And of course the camera too! We had a blast. I mean it was a great time. There are moments when you can step back and watch your children experience something and you get to experience it through them. This was one of those times. Dash-1 was just running up and down our long driveway, rolling around in the yard, scooping up the snow and blowing it out of his hands. Enjoying being a kid. Dash-2 was crawling around trying to see from under his hood. I've never seen such a small kid move so fast in a snow suit! It was wonderful to watch the two of them. How lucky I was that I got to be there for it. And how unlucky for hubby to have missed it.

I am thinking about this because tonight as hubby rejoined our hemisphere and is back in the world of phones and Internet he was able to view the photos. One of the first things I said was "Oh did you see the pics? I got some great shots! The boys were adorable!". The longing in his voice said it all "It looks like you guys had fun". And then he sighed.

I tend to always think, no kiddies waking him up at night, no explosive poops to deal with, able to go to the bathroom without an audience, a little vacation from us doesn't sound so bad. But I need to remember that I'm the lucky one who gets hugs and kisses all day, to share in every first, to laugh with them (and at them!), to hold their hands and kiss their boo boos. I'd say the good far outweighs the bad. How lucky I am to have a sweet husband who does so much so that I can be here for our boys. I always think how hard it is for me but it must be really hard for him too.

*Update* adorable pic!