To pay or not to pay?

That is the question.

That little spoof on Shakespeare concludes the extent of my knowledge on the man and his works. A fine student of the classics I am not.

But anyways.

When I posted a couple nights ago about the ideal number of kids {and thanks for all the comments, they were all so different and all soooo interesting! I love hear what you guys are thinking or doing.} I touched briefly on the fact that money was a contributing factor to coming up with our ideal number. And again let me just reiterate, its only a contributing factor, honestly one of the biggest factors for me would probably have to be our lifestyle.

Not living near family and single parenting WAYYY more then I'd like, is tough. Very tough.

And really, until one has walked a mile as the role of mom, dad, plumber, nurse, maid, cook, electrician, bug catcher, and everything else under the sun for any longer then 2 weeks {without the help of family nearby} while your spouse is off somewhere doing God knows what, don't judge.

It's hard. There are days that I'm amazed military family's procreate at all. And then there are days when I think I can take it on and keep on taking it on. Its a fickle thing. But its tough for us.

But before I went on that tangent the question was to pay for college or not.

I am very lucky. My parents foot the bill for my college education.

{which has proved to be very useful, today I used my BA to change a couple diapers, make some cookies, do laundry, color, and read some Bernstein Books. Looks like you got your moneys worth mom and dad}.

Just to clarify, my parents wrote a check, they didn't take out a loan, had they not been in the position to pay outright we were going to be on our own.

There were some stipulations, you had to help some, my sister got a ton of little scholarships {those little ones add up!} and work.

I decided that for the first two years I would stay at home and go to community college. I saved a ton of money going that route and with the combination of that and AP credits I was able to graduate from a semester early when I did transfer to the university I went to.

The other part of the deal was no credit cards. At. All. You had to live on the money that you had and since we had low paying campus jobs that would be not a lot.

{Although my brother had a great scam, my mom would give him gift certificate for the local grocery store and he would buy one or two little things and keep the change. And he now that I think about it, he went to school in Myrtle Beach where they might have sold beer at the grocery store. And he convinced them to send him to school, paid for, to MYRTLE BEACH! Damn he had a racket going on.}

And we had to have jobs and have decent grades. College wasn't so much a big party time for me, I was there to get in and get out. I knew that I was lucky, my parents were paying but I owed them and myself.

I didn't really understand all that they were doing for me at the time, they were allowing me to get out of college without the burden of debt. What an amazing gift that was. I didn't have to worry about making X amount to pay off X amount of loans on top of living expenses. Which turned out to be a good thing because, well, my first job paid crap.

Come to think of it all my jobs have paid crap.....hmmm....

I'm not even sure I'd be a stay at home mom now if I had college loans to pay for. I know a couple of people for whom that's a factor in the whole baby/stay home discussion. Living on one income is tough, if we had a chunk of loans to send money too it'd be even tougher, maybe even not possible.

So my parents really set me up. I want to be able to help my kids out like that as well. I want to help set them up to start life with all doors open and without feeling a weight and burden of debt on their backs.

Does this mean that they need to go to wicked expensive Ivy league schools? Nope.

Well, actually that's a bit of a debate with flyboy and I, he feels if they are really driven and get into some wicked awesome, wicked expensive school we should make it happen. But there is time to work thru that one, not to mention see where the kiddos end up. Someone got a cookie piece shoved up their nose the other day. I think we can put MIT on the back burner for now.

Alright I know I shouldn't brag but I have to share, I know I know its just a number but the mama pride in me is exploding right now.

The genius who stuck the cookie piece up his nose really is almost a genius.

Wouldn't you know he got an comprehensive IQ test as part of a speech eval for his articulation and holy shit the kids IQ is in the 95%percentile with superior intelligence. Who would have thought it?! So maybe if cookies aren't in the entrance exams and whatnot, MIT could be an option.

And you know what, we might not be able to help them pay for it all, we probably wont, after all we are doing this on one income for now, but we want to help as much as we can. If that means instate schools or sometime in a community college, not to mention AP classes and what not, then those are all options. Because that's really what its about. Having options.

I realize too that the military is there. You can't deny that with three boys, of whom would be fourth generation military, the military option will probably be on the table. Statistically it's a probability for one of them {ugh that pulls on my mama heart}. Either they enlist and use the GI Bill or go to an academy.

I want loans to be the last possible option. THE LAST. Right before just observing class outside from the window. Especially if the government is the last one in the game. Thanks but no thanks.

Or maybe they don't even go to college. I really hope they do. And that could be another whole post.

I've heard from a lot of people that if you don't pay for your own college you don't appreciate it. Far from it in my experience.

A lot of my roommates were going to school on subsided loans from the govt and used quite a bit of that money to "live on". We all know what constitutes living in college. Lots of drinking. they were "paying" for it and certainly took their sweet time getting thru. And hey, so long as they are paying for their loans now whats it to me?

My college was paid for but I was damn appreciative. My parents were quite serious, you got four years. That was it. F it up and you were screwed. And trust me those same conditions will be there.

Bottom line, it may not be possible, we may not be able to help out as much as we'd like but dammit if we aren't going to try.

And so that's where we stand. Where do you stand? To pay or not to pay?

And if you've made it to the end congrats. This gives new meaning to long winded.

*a ps sidenote. I hope I havent offended anyone, it's certainly not my intention. I'm not against those who don't go to college, its not for everyone, I'm not against those who take loans, and I certainly don't think those who take out loans don't appreciate or party too much. I was just countering the argument that I've heard about getting it paid for and not appreciating it.

Ohh and who thinks I should tackle whether or not your pay check should dictate the size of your family. I have a LOT to say on that one.

I must confess

Sometimes I have tunnel vision. Occasionally I can become a bit worked up over things.

This comes as a big shock doesn't it?

If you all will remember I got flyboy a kick ass amazing father's day gift, because well, he deserved it. A very nifty Garmin GPS watch that does a whole buncha things... apparently....he talks about it but well, I just smile and nod.

I just wanted to get him a kick ass gift, I don't really care what the damn thing does.

So when I bought the thing, which might I add was a tad on the pricey side and he's lucky father's day occurred before the piece of poo saturn that I loved but due to GM going down the tube forced us to buy a new car (a FORD might I add) because the government is so busy bailing out companies and corporations it's screwing the rest of us hard working Americans car crapped out and we had to buy a new one, cause well, I don't know if that toy would have been purchased, it came with a rebate.

And I love me a rebate. But I don't like me the waiting so much.

Well, when I check online it says my rebate should have arrived a few days ago, but alas it has not. And it's little things like this that drive me insane.

Stupid I know. But its part of who I am. And it aint changing anytime soon.

Really I find myself looking in the mailbox with the same anticipation I had when flyboy was at war and I was waiting for mail. This is ridiculous. And it's only $50.

Although I rarely ever say only in regards to any sum of money, shoot I'd be this worked up over 15 bucks, but it's true that it's not some huge sum of money that I can roll around in just for the thrill.

It's time's like these that a few various thoughts run thru my mind, a. why am I sharing my oddness with the world? b. perhaps I need a hobby.... or medication... c.... ohh, is that the mail truck........

**update** the check came, I can now move on to obsessing about something else... let's see.... perhaps on when I'll give birth... or maybe potty training -2... or what to have for dinner.....

So much to choose from.

toys, the crapper, field trips, and alpha moms

I bought it.

The toy is purchased, the money, I think, well spent. Now I just have to fight the urge to give it to him early. I'm just so excited about his reaction, seldom do I get a really kick ass gift for him that when I do I just want to give it to him.

He is plagued by this same problem, by the way. In fact far worse. Last December he got me an anniversary ring and came home and gave it to me right away.

While I was on the crapper.

That was a touching moment.

Dammit I started this post with something else in mind and now that I've gotten that out of the way I cant remember it.

Oh yeah, this ties in so follow with me. Dash-1 has a field trip coming up and not to sound like a horrible mom but I don't wanna go.

There I said it, I should file this post under "being an honest mom" or "keeping it real". I love my sons, I take them everywhere with me, really, I've taken them to a three hour pre-op work up appointment before which in my opinion is the big time for a mom to drag her kids too. The point, I can take 'em anywhere, nothing phases me.

I just don't wanna go.

It's to the local children's museum that we are members of so I have taken the kids there before. I just don't want to deal with chasing dash-2 and keeping dash-1 in check with all the other class kids and dealing with the other parents.

I'll be the first to admit, I'm not in the nursery school mommy cliche. I get along with a few of the moms, we talk in passing and have had a few play dates. But I'm clearly not in the mommy cliche.

I didn't go to high school with them like most did, I don't know them because of who their families are, because well I don't know who anyone is around here, and well, I'm usually run a little ragged because well, my husband doesn't come home every night.

Oh and I'm not willing to kiss the alpha mom's ass. News to all you new moms out there, mommyhood is like high school. There is always an alpha mom. And well I'm too tired and stubborn to kiss any ones ass.

Part of me is bothered by it and part of me could care less.

So my ramble.... I need to make a doctors apt for that week, how funny would it be to schedule my appointment the same day as his field trip and make flyboy take both boys solo on the trip.

HA! I love my husband but I'm going to out him and keep him real, he does NOT take both boys out solo. EVER.

I'd probably have to buy him every add on for the toy I got if I did that to him. But it'd almost be worth it. I'd PAY to see that. And good money too.

Truth be told I probably will see if he can come with us. And he's a good guy like that, if he's home and he's able he's usually always up for it. And when he's with me I know I'll have someone to talk to and sit with at lunch. I might not be part of the mommy cliche but I have a pretty sweet posse of my own.

But I still think it would be funny to send him solo..... 'cause I'm kinda demented like that.

To buy or not to buy

I'm so torn.

Despite having a crappy week last week. One where Murphy (of Murphy's law) was after me at every turn and I was occasionally silently (all right when I wasn't around the kids it might not have been so silent) cursing my husband for yet again being away on a vacation , I mean work, away on work. I'm torn on his father's day gift.

I want to get him a toy. An expensive toy that I wont come right out and say what it is because apparently, one wouldn't be able to tell from all the comments he leaves but he actually reads this thing!

I want to get him a toy that is just for him, that serves no purpose outside of something he could fiddle around with and knowing what a tech geek he is he would love. But.... it's expensive.

I mean we could afford it I'm just feeling like maybe that money should go towards other things or that maybe I should just get him the boring old lawn equipment that he asked for. But the toy is so much cooler. And I know he would love it. But it is pricey. Or at least for me it is. It's more expensive then the weed wacker lets put it that way.

But as hard as he works isn't he worth it? And the answer is always unequivocally yes.

Despite that he's had a few down days in a tropical local and I'm left home to step in pee. Yes he is worth it.

So ladies.... to buy or not to buy? Do I get the toy or the lawn equipment? I mean really, can't the weed wacker wait another month? Especially since he's never here to use it.