Thursday, December 13, 2012

Adapt and Overcome. Right?


I'm thinking its time for me to re-evaluate my expectations of myself. 

Something tells me that I'm not the only one who has had such a revalation, be it during a deployment or not.

I don't think I can sustain my existence if I do.  At least not a sane existence.  I mean if its cool to become some pj wearing nutjob with a wicked case of bedhead standing on the side of the road I'm half way there! 

I have a bit of a habit to take on projects, a little one here, another small one there.  This one for this kids class, oh wait! have to do the same thing for the other kids class, then we can't forget kid three!

This is going to kill me, if I don't knock it the f off.

Deployments are a tricky, wicked beast.  There is the obvious, most noticeable part of trying to do everything for everyone by yourself.  No spouse is coming home to help out with bedtime or clean up the kitchen while you bathe the kids.

{insert side note here.... I have boys, if I don't keep half an eye on them during shower/bathe time, nothing gets clean.  In fact the other day the six year old took a shower and came out totally dry, turns out he hid behind the shower liner the whole time.}

If it is going to get done, I'm the one doing it.  Or at least helping out the kids while they "help" out.

But there is also the emotional stress of helping your kids cope, being the one to absorb the anger, and folks, there is anger.  Raw, emotional, nasty, downright ugly anger.  Your trying to help them while trying to stay afloat yourself. Beacause lets not forget the worry.  The constant worry of the unknown.

And shoot, the known isn't always so comforting either.

It takes a toll on you.  I'm only a mere 17 days into this deployment {not that I'm counting cause I'm totally not}and I'm exhausted.  Emotional and physically.

And I have a head cold.

Pity me dammit.

But seriously, I am realizing that I'm going to have to scale back or else big mama is gonna snap and its not going to be pretty.

Normally by this time I would have probably baked 20 dozen cookies, they'd be on pretty trays ready to go around.  Yeah not so much.  I took cookies into hubs work when I took some boxes that were going out on a plane.  I took em in plastic bags and not even festive ones.

My ornament swap stuff?  Went out yesterday.  And poor wifeyofasailor sent me a wonderful box and her box hasn't even gone out yet.

Crappers.

We've missed wrestling the past two times and I'm debating about blowing it off tonight because while I thought everyone would do better if I kept them BUSY BUSY BUSY I'm finding its the opposite.  They just want to come home from school and chill.

This makes me a crappy sports mom.  {Though to my defense this is just a wrestling clinic, he's not competing and frankly, its not really run very well. }

But you know what, I'm also starting to think that I need to do what I need to do.  I'm doing this crap all on my own, I don't have family sitting around the corner or a husband coming home tonight... or even in a week or two.

This isn't a sprint its a marathon

{thank God its not a year long marathon, I do so love the Marine Corps for their deployments}

As the Marines say, adapt and overcome.  We are getting thru this, frankly, we are doing well, but we are going to have to make some adjustments.

What kind of adjustments do you make during deployments?  Tell me I'm not the only one blowing off sports practice?

5 comments:

  1. Um.... I have no kids and a husband who is at home. Yet YOUR ornament exchange box won't be shipped until at least Monday. You are not behind the curve.

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  2. My standards get remarkably lower. I feel a lot of the time that all I can do is the bare minimum (are we all fed, dressed, reasonably clean, and at school or medical appointments?) and if I can manage that, it is an OK day. If I can manage more than that--the laundry got washed and folded and put away in the same day?--then that's a good day.

    The bottom line is, we are only one person. We cannot wear all the hats we normally wear plus dad's too. It's too hard. It's a juggling act and we're going to drop things. Especially things that the kids aren't really into at the moment. The trick is not beating yourself up over it. I haven't learned this yet but God do I wish I would. And you know what? Nobody who knows what you're going through expects you to do everything--except you. It's OK to let some things go. It's ok to have breakfast for dinner, or skip a sports practice, or pawn off store bought cookies as homemade to the mailman.

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  3. love reading this article.. thanks..

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  4. Say what??? We have to be on point all the time??? Miss you!! Jr is allergive to everything, so my life is once again parallel to you!

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  5. I'd just like to say, Bless you and your family for the support you lend to our military men & women. Please, be kind to yourself, treat yourself and know that you are as important as those you care for. As women we forget how important we are, not just our role in life, but as the female essence we bring love, comfort and support to life. Life would cease without us. Your unique soul was meant to be where you are right now. I always reflect, what is my strength that put me in this position? What do I need to learn from this struggle, frustration. Some things are what they are. There is no reason, that's just life. You have the power to choose what will add to or subtract from an overwhelming life. What do you want? It's easy to complain and I completely support complaing, but when that is complete what comes next? What changes will we make as women to move forward and show our men/boys that life is beautiful beyond box cookies. And Thank God for the boxed cookies!!! Good Luck and bless your journey.

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