I have a smidgen of a parenting PSA here. This is important for parents and all you yet to spawn folks. Tonight I shall be addressing the need for people to, well, quite simply, back the f- off other moms.
Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of a spilt second judgment calls sometimes. I will admit, {
ahem} from time to time, raising an eyebrow, rolling my eyes, thinking to myself, "
that mother has feral animals for kids" or even worse, "
does she ever parent them?"
I know I shouldn't but hey, I'm human.
But since I'm closing in on 6 yrs of parenting under my belt I find I'm doing this less and less.
I'm finding parenting is great for personal growth, bad for personal shame, since its been the same number of years since I last closed the bathroom door, but hey, you can't have it all.
I like to think I'm a pretty decent parent. I have pretty good kids, who are fairly polite and well behaved in public, but folks, life happens, kids, small kids and big kids alike have crappy days. Shoot us parents have bad days! Just because a kid is throwing a knock down hissy fit in Target does not a bad parent make.
When dash-1 was discharged from the hospital 2 wks ago, he fell in the elevator. He didn't break anything, he fell on his kester, and it just set him off.
So here I am, carrying 2 bags, his little book bag, holding his balloons and dragging my 5 year old hysterically crying child to find the door. Not to mention that the hospital was under construction so we had to wind our way thru the maze to find the parking garage that neither of us had been too yet because we came in thru another entrance in an ambulance.
Good times.
I got several dirty looks. I'm pretty sure I overheard one person say something about look at that mom can't shut up her kid.
No, no I can not.
Nor did I care too. Poor kid had had a helluva week. He was tired, he was still on the mend from pneumonia, he wanted to get home, and he had just fallen on his ass and to him, in that moment that was the straw that broke his back.
I'm the mom. I know my kid. I knew at that moment, no standing outside the elevator trying to soothe him was going to work, I was going to get his ass to the door and hope the cold air knocked some sense into him.
Hey what do you know, it did.
The point of all that was that, sometimes, as parents, we find ourselves in painful, often embarrassing situations, that to an outsider might make it look like we are clueless idiots.
We are not. Well not most of the time. Sometimes we are, but thats another post.
So I'd like to offer some tips:
-Do not stare, move on. If it were your kid throwing the fit would you like an audience? No, no you would not.
-Do not say obnoxious things loud enough for us to hear, {
"oooh look, see that boy screaming and crying. Do we act like that? No no we don't. Only babies scream and cry. Mommy doesn't tolerate behavior like that." } Sure this might be a parenting moment for you but we don't need to hear it.
-Do not try to calm down our kid. You might have the best intentions at heart, but if we thought we could get them calm we would. What do you think we are masochist? Or sometimes we might just be ignoring it. Because, like the government, parents shouldn't negotiate with terrorist.
-Yes, we know that if our kid is acting like an ass we should just leave, and most of the time we will, however, remember, that's not always possible. Dash-2 once had a total meltdown in Target but since the Tampon fairy didn't get the memo to deliver to my house, flyboy was away for a couple weeks and dammit, I was staying in the checkout line despite his screaming.
- Please, don't offer us tips, even really good ones, I mean I love tips, but I find that during nastiness is not the most receptive time for us to appreciate them. And don't compare our kids to your pets. Really, a story about your misbehaving poodle, while it maybe funny, is again not going to be appreciated.
The most important part of this post, cause I know I ramble and everything gets all jumbled up, try not to judge.
Let us suffer our brief parental indignity, after all, this is just another joy of parenting, we have to go thru this now so that we don't totally crumble of loneliness when they eventually leave the nest a decade and a half from now.
If your kids are still cute and cuddly or you're not quite at the kids stage yet,
do not snark, trust me, if parenting has taught me anything its that what goes around comes around. At some point your child will throw down in public. It's inevitable. Do not turn your nose at that mom, one day, mark my words, you will be that mom.
Hmmm, that might be the second most important point to take away from this post.
Cut her the slack that you'd like to be cut when its your turn.
Now I should say add that there are in fact crappy parents out there who do crazy stuff that I think is just screaming for me to snark about case in point when you fill up your kids baby bottle with mellow yellow from the soda fountain. But like I've said before.... that's another post.
Hey I said I was working on personal growth, I didn't say I had fully attained it yet.
But really, we should all remember,
its either been us or it will be us one day, screaming child, frayed nerves, staring bystanders. Lets work on being a little more civil k folks?
Anything I've left out?
Oh and don't forget about the
Valentine Day Swap Sign Ups!