Monday, May 16, 2011

Exhaustion

I'm kinda tired.  And stressed.  Scratch those, and sub in exhausted.

Lately I've been a bit frazzled, I'm quick to stress, quick to snap, rather than seeing the joy in the moment, I feel anxious to get all the taskes done.  {If my husband is reading this I'm sure he's wondering what tasks!}

My boys are getting older, that has a lot to do with it.  No longer are our days spent puttering around the house doing tummy time and playdates.  One kid has soccer, another has teeball, homework needs to be done, cookies need to be made for snack and for the Kindergarten bake sale, oh and the 5 spreadsheets for the Nursery School Board need to be done too by the way. 

The house needs to be cleaned, laundry done at a cyclic rate {how is it that 3 boys can easily create 2 loads a day}, dinner should probably be made BEFORE bedtime, not to mention the other stuff of mommy hood.  Love, kisses, hugs and cuddles.  As delightful as those are they slow a mom down. 

That.  Right there.  What's wrong with that statement?

That's the crux of motherhood.  The love, the kisses, the cuddles, the rest, well, it needs to get done but which is more important.

I'm not going to lie either, I'm in the "over" portion of the roller coaster about military life.  Ever notice how its a roller coaster?  Its great, you can do it, then bam, I don't know if I can do this anymore, when are we done, etc.  {Flyboy has his own version, "I'm staying 20+, lets go for retirement, here's the game plan", than bam, "I'm punching tomorrow"}

Flyboy's had a bit of a wonky schedule lately, he's re upping and has a crap ton of leave to use up, because well, he never gets to take it, so he's putting his foot down and dammit, he's taking it, in little week chunks at a time, so he's been around, but who are we kidding, he's still gone a lot.  Here's where I'm going to get whinny, I don't want 5 days, I want 6 months.  6 months of normal living. 

6 months of going to work but coming home to help with homework, bath time, bedtime.  6 months of weekends together.  6 months of a partner to lean on. 

6 months with no where to go but home to us.

But that's not our military reality.  Never has been never will be.  So we keep on doing our spurts, here and gone.  Here and gone.  It should be normal by now but instead it just seems so exhausting.

But hey, only 6 years left, 6 years is a cake walk right?

4 comments:

  1. That has to be so incredibly tough. I can't even imagine. ((hugs)) to you!

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  2. I am sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. It is hard to be both parents. I hope things slow down for you this summer, so you can enjoy again.

    As for the military roller coaster, I am right there with you. My husband will have 21 years this year. Yesterday he was retiring. Tomorrow he will do one more tour. Oh, and maybe we will try for 30! ugh. How about he justs tell me when he has the papers? He is making me crazy. And yes, suprisingly, 6 years goes by very fast.

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  3. I don't know how you do it. We live the military lifestlye too but he is home for about a month at a time before he is off on his next big adventure. And we go through the military roller coaster too. His--I hate my job I'm done (2 days later...) it's almost time to put in for a change of duty stations here's our options take your pick!--Mine--I'm done, I'm ready to be somewhere with help (30 minutes later...)Wait help = in laws which is intrusion...I'll stick this out the 20+ years to retirement.

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  4. It definitely gets rough some days, and we're not even active military. I know how it is. :(

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