Tuesday, May 31, 2011

closin up shop

In 2 weeks, actually 12 days, I'll be infertile. 

Granted its by choice but still I'd be lying if I didn't say its running thru my mind a fair amount lately.

I've been very lucky when it's come to baby makin'.  Very very lucky.

I told flyboy it could take us months to get pregnant with the first two dash boys and what do you know, the first time was the charm both times.  Between dash2 and 3 we suffered a miscarriage, which in it of itself was a horrible blow, if you can believe it, just 10 days after the miscarriage there we were pregnant again.  I'm mertile fertile like that.

But here I am, about to turn 31 in a few months, with 3 beautiful, granted very stubborn, very spunky, very very alpha male kinda boys, going to go in for a hysterectomy.

Now don't get too panicky for me, I'm not losing the ol' girls {those would be the ovaries}, so I'm still gonna be all kinds of hormonal, just the uterus is gonna go.  Cause honestly, its not working so hot lately.

I'll spare you all the gory details and trust me, they are gory, let just leave it at the fact that I re-define, monthly, what a heavy period means.  And if your thinking that a hysterectomy is drastic for periods than clearly your imagination hasn't done it justice.

I've tried other things but really the only two options that are left are ablation and a hysterectomy and really, in the end both mean no more babies, so why not go with the one that will finally end the misery of leaving a blood trail around town. 

Wait was that too much?  Cause that's how its getting lately.  And I have tan car interiors so we're getting down to the wire here folks.

We had always said that as far as kids go 3 was pretty much that magic number.  In an ideal world more kids would be great, but in this world, money, time, and sanity, while it maybe highly overrated, are somewhat limited.  A few have said that maybe we'll want kids once he gets out of the Marine Corps, maybe, but then again, that's six years from now, dash1 will be 12, dash2 10, and dash3 7, would we really want to start again? Probably not.  

Not to mention, could the world handle another dash brother?  I mean including flyboy thats a lot of testosterone for me AND the world to handle.

I've been told that I'm pretty young to be yanking organs out, I get that, but at the same time, our family is complete.  And hey, since we had 'em young, we'll still be young when they head out to tackle the world on their own!

Rumor has it that there is indeed, life after kiddies.  I mean, I'm still YEARS away from that but its a helluva thought, enough that while I might look fondly at little snuggly babies, flyboy and I are moving on to the next stage of family life....

That would be the stage where your child's activities cause the family calendar on the refrigerator to look suspiciously like something out of a war room. 

So in 12 days my baby makin days will be over, and while its a bit to take in... I'm actually ok with it.

11 comments:

  1. My cousin, also 30, had to have the same thing done this year. She has 3 babies and apparently they were too close together b/c the doc told her that her uterus was literally falling out. She's a runner and he said that if she wanted to keep running/doing aerobics and you know, doing anything (to include a brisk walk) to relieve the stress of 3 kids, she'd need it out.

    Keep up the positive attitude. And keep writing. I love your blog.

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  2. I see why it's been on your mind a lot, that sounds scary! Although, I'm also freaked out by pregnancy, and you've been there multiple times of course lol! I don't think you're too young to make this choice, hello, you've got 3 kids! I hope you get relief after the procedure! Hugs & prayers for you for a fast recovery!

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  3. I'm sorry... I had to skim everything after the mention of tan car interiors. I was laughing too hard at your description.

    But not what you are going through. ((hugs)) You know we're here for you as much as we can be. And if I need that done myself in a few months, you can be my mentor, right?

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  4. I wish you all the best with your surgery. Its a tough choice... and one I wouldnt want to make at this point in my life. But when its over, if your quality of life is better without the big U, then thats all that matters.

    Take care of your self. You are in my thoughts.

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  5. I will be thinking of you! If you need anything please let me know! I will drive my bootie up there for sure! And we are here for you too if you need to vent as well. <3

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  6. OK, I'm a twitter idiot and have been reading through your feed on and off for awhile trying to figure out exactly what's up. This made things a LOT clearer.

    I'm glad that you're OK with this, since it is a big deal, but I know you'd been saying that you were done after 3 kids. You're doing what you need to be well, which is the best thing for you.

    Did I mention that you're awesome? Because you are.

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  7. I can't imagine how hard or easy the decision was for you but I am glad that you are making the best decision for you and your family. We have also made the decision that we are done and I am going to be looking to get a tubal. And we are okay with it. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like I haven't had anyone to relate to since my friends are still in family making mode.

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  8. I've never had a car w/tan interior, or worried about blood trails, but if the pain is anything like what I've dealt with since mine started, huge hugs for you! Hope your recovery goes well!

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  9. wow I hope everything goes smoothly I'll be thinking of you. Since I had my iud out my periodshave been horrible. I keep hoping to get pregnant with no luck

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  10. I almost wish something medical would happen to decide that one for us (although, obviously, it's better if it doesn't!). It's such a painful decision for us right now! I don't want to have regrets either way, sigh.

    Anyway, here's hoping the surgery goes well, and the blood trail is a thing of the past!

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  11. I hope all went well. I chose the ablation route (I was more worried about the more surgerical aspect of a hysterectomy). I have been very happy. Barely notice my period any more...just some darker stains when I wipe... (Hope I didn't just TMI folks, lol!)

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