Saturday, February 19, 2011

Back to the vomit

So about the vomit.  Sorry for the lag, who knew that with kids in school Valentine's Day is the new Christmas?  I think more work on my part went into Vday than xmas. 

That and well, single parenting can for some reason absorb a fair amount of your time, especially with those pesky care laws, you know feed em THREE times a day, bathe them, take em places with you, you know that kinda stuff. 

So back to vomit.  {Which by the way is a fitting topic right now since both dash3 and I are sick with head colds and he keeps making this weird open mouth hacking sound that is either going to produce some vomit or a hairball}

Of my 3 kids dash2 is rarely sick.  He could rub himself with poo and sit in a room of ebola virus and he doesn't get sick.  Dash-1 can look at a person sneeze from within a safe room and 10 minutes later he'll get sick, case in point in a two month span he had the flu, pnuemonia, a cold, strep, and scarlet fever.  And God help us when he gets a stomach bug, when he had the flu he must have vomited 9 times in a 12 hour period.

Dash3 is somewhere in the middle.  I'm hoping as he gets older and used to more germs he'll lean more towards dash-2.

But. Dash-2 does have a nasty little habit.  And bless his heart it's certainly not his fault.  But its still really gross.

He has a habit of vomitting all over the floor at Sam's Club. 

And don't sit there in your vomit free tower thinking, well than, she shouldn't let him eat that crap food, because trust me, if I thought that was it I'd stop that most ricky tick.  He has puked after eating some of a hot dog. he has puked while eating {in my opinion the most disgusting}, he's puked while shopping and not eating, he's puked while standing still. 

I do not for the life of me get what it is about that place.  Is it the lights, the concrete floor, he just loves to watch me clean it up? What is it?!

So I guess that answers the question in my normal-there-must-be-a-long-winded-story kinda way.  I clean up my kids vomit.  And not because I like to or I think its not gross at all, but because if its gross to me, the woman who birthed these creatures and thinks that they might be the most adorable, beautiful creatures in the world {and its REALLY REALLY gross} than by golly its gonna be wrenchingly gross for someone else.  And I know its "their job" but there is no way in HELL they get paid near enough for them. 

I get the point that there are standards to which it needs to be cleaned up and I get that there are situations in which its not always possible {for instance the child is ready to spew again and you have GOT to get out of there} but I really do try my best.

My usually puke MO is that I sop up the bulk of the mess, they come over to clean it up and I quickly explain that I'll get it, and I must say I don't think I've ever had someone not take me up on it.  Well at the dr's office, but in that situation they are more equipped gag reflex wise I think to handle vomit and bodily fluids than the folks at Sam's Club. 

I generally do the nasty clean up and then they do a "spot check" with the bleach and all that good stuff. 

By the way, I've started carrying absorbent powder in my car should anyone vomit in the mom mobile. It gels the stuff up and helps with the smell. {and this isn't some paid post, this is a mom who cleans up a LOT of puke sharing this with other puke cleaners}

The reason I even asked this question was that I was surprised the other day in Sam's when dash2 puked and I went to town earning my keep cleaning it up.  I will admit, I'm embarassed when my kids puke, I'm afraid other people are thinking, why did she take him out, its random, trust me if I knew I was going to clean up puke with my bare hands I'd have stayed home.

But when I finally looked up, sweaty, stinky, and blushing, I was shocked at the very sweet reaction that people had for me. 

One lady came over to give me some handiwipes to clean dash2 and I up with {of course I am a mom and have mulitple cleaning products in my purse but it was very nice}.   Another woman made a point of saying, that she hoped he felt better and that it certainly can't be helped.  Another couple asked if I wanted them to watch the boys while I went to the bathroom to wash up.  {I always feel like that's a test, "Bob, if she says yes, call the cops and report her as some bad mom who's willing to leave her kids with total strangers.  Get ready!"}

And everyone said that they were shocked I cleaned it up myself.  When the janitor finally made his way over he was even more shocked.  Well not so shocked when he saw it was us, this poor man gets scared every time he sees dash2 in the store.  He said he certainly doesn't expect people to clean it up but its always appreciated. 

I was pleasantly surprised to see so many of you reply that you too are in the cleanup brigade.  If you see a frazzeld woman cleaning up vomit in a Sam's Club anytime soon, stop by, it might be me.  {Yes, yes, dash-2 has puked in Sam's Clubs in various states.  I'm telling you, its some weird kinda thing I just can't explain.}


  1. ohmyword, what a story! er, history...
    yay for you and the sweet people standing by with handiwipes... :)

  2. Wow! How crazy that Sam's Club has that magic effect on him. It must be his special skill. Too bad it can't be finding large denomination money on the ground.

    You are one awesome mama!

  3. That's so strange!

    But after reading this I actually remember helping a mom once with wipes and kleenex when her child projectile vomited in target. Its funny because I barf if my dog barfs but for some reason if it seems like an emergency I am fine.

    So weird

  4. Hi there... just wanted to let you know that I gave you a blog award. :-)

  5. Umm yeah.

    How do I say this?

    I um went to the pharmacy today to have a prescription filled because I spent last night in the hospital because I have been SO SICK for the last 4 days.

    I was standing in line and then I PROJECTILE VOMITED IN TARGET!

    Me a grown adult.

    So I did the only thing I could think of

    I cried.

    I attempted to start to clean when 5 workers came running over (after the LOUD announcement and not before a HUGE crowd gathered)

    I barfed. In Target. On a SUNDAY!

    Umm yeah.

    Going down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my adult life.


I'm not going to lie... I live for comments. Nice ones that is.