Monday, September 13, 2010

Call it what it is

I have a pet peeve.  I know I know I have a lot of them, but I've had this one for a while, it crept up right around the time that dash-1 was about 18 mths to 2 years old.

Oh and I should put the disclaimer out there that I'm most certainly not trying to offend anyone but that these are *my opinions*.  We all have our own opinion of how to raise our kids, what I think might not  {shoot probably wont} be what the next person thinks.  But that being said this is still annoying me.

It drives me nuts when people refer to their kids daycare as school.  Why does this drive me so crazy?  Because an 18mth old or a 2 year old, isn't going to school.  Its just stupid to call it that.

Now my boys went to nursery school, dash-2 , who is almost 4 is there now in fact.  He goes for 2 1/2 hrs twice a week and I'll be honest, nursery school is a little bit of a joke.  It's just because of when his birthday falls, he'll always be the oldest in the class since his birthday misses the cutoff by five days, so he needed to get used to leaving the nest and prek wasn't an option yet.

Too bad because like I said, nursery school is a bit of a joke, he already knows his shapes, colors, and alphabet which is what they are learning this year, but he does need to learn to exist outside of my loving {I can be loving} arms.

So to go back a bit this is how this whole peeve of mine started, a couple years back someone mentioned that their kid went to school.  I'm pretty sure my head snapped back like a damn rubber band, her kid was the same age as dash-1 and dash-1 wasn't even 2 yet.

What the hell kinda school was she talking about?!

And she started to describe it, they feed them snack, lunch, another snack, they do nap time, and actives.  And they were there from 9-3. SIX HOURS

Hold on, I'm thinking, your kid is barely 2, if that, no where neeeeeear potty trained, and your a SAHM.  Why are you shit-canning your kid to day care.  Because I pretty firmly believe that unless there is some type of educational programing going on and you can crap in a potty you can't call it school. 

I feel like I should reassert my disclaimer that these are *my opinions only*.

I know there are little programs for small kids to go to to get used to seperateing and to give mom a break, in fact I went to one when I was little, three I think, and it was called just that, Mothers Time Out.  It was in a church basement and it was for an hour a week.  Not from 9-3, an HOUR. Once a week and we did little crafts and had a snack.

And I know I'm not the only one who is annoyed by this.  I just read a  140 character tweet/rant about this on twitter today from Mrs.TSgt.  Just one more reason we should have been stationed closer to each other but thats for another post.

Here's the thing, my kids drive me nuts.  Really nuts.  In fact there are some days I dream about sending all of them off somewhere for a solid 6 hours during the day.  Time without your kids isn't entirely lost on me.  But goodness knows they are going to be spending enough time in school later on down the road.  Why rush it?  And if they have to be in daycare, call it what it is, daycare.  Aint no shame in that.

There that's just my points.  And please, no shitty comments, if you disagree, which I'm sure of you do, polite is the word of the day around here. 


There I said it.  Its out there.


  1. I LOVE YOU. LOVE. And if Flyboy ever leaves, I will marry you.

    Daycare is not school and daycare workers are not teachers.

    I. Love. You.

  2. I completely agree! A friend of mine worked at a DAYCARE and kept calling herself a teacher....really pissed me off, because I was like an actual teacher. And I completely understand parents who both need to work and send their kids to daycare. But I do not understand SAHM that drop them off there pretending it's 'school'. Why did they even have kids then?

  3. I cannot say anything more awesome than that first comment you received. I actually had this conversation with Paul the other day where I was explaining that lots of places call it 'pre-school' even though it's just daycare. He said a lot of profaninty in that conversation. I hope my child's first sentence isn't "That's Fing stupid."

    But you know what? It IS fing stupid.

  4. :) This cracks me up. A friend of mine just started her 2 year old (also still in diapers) at MOPS 2 days a week. She says if she says, "Caleb, ready for daycare/MOPS/go play with your friends at church?" he is SO not down for it. But if she says, "Caleb, want to go to school?" he gets all excited and is all about it. I don't know why there's a difference to a 2 year old. But that's how it is.

  5. Shit-canning? Hilarious! I've never heard that before. I mean really, if you are at a SAHM and you really can't stand to stay at home...get a nanny. Just saying. I got away from my kids for 6 hours on Saturday. It was wonderful. Want to know why? Because I went to a concealed carry class and to the range. I think angels were singing.

    Am I a bad mom if I didn't think about them why I was away?

  6. My daughter went to some form of a preschool since she was 2 3/4 years old. It was just for a few hours a day. It was a developmental program. They didn't teach academics. Thank goodness! I think she would have gone bonkers in an academic environment. The preschool director told me that the activities the kids do, such as playing with play-dough strengthens their fingers to prepare for holding pencils, etc. later. Also, kids get exposed to socializing with other kids and learning how to share, etc. Since my daughter was an only child, the social aspects of preschool were excellent! Six hours/day does seem a bit much for preschoolers (or younger), but I'm a huge advocate of having kids around 3 or so in some kind of program at least a few days a week!

  7. I agree. There are some really good daycare providers that take the time to teach kids stuff but most of them just turn on the TV and have the kids sit in front of it. I dread the day I have kids and may have to leave them at a daycare.

  8. Yeah. That's not school.

    While learning to get along with others and function without mommy is important (and many adults I know need to go to that kind of school), it's not real school.

    School has lesson plans and structure and learning. If your two year old is in school as long as an 18 year old, it's day care.

    Bear is starting pre-school this week. Sometimes I get lazy and call it "his school" instead of pre-school. They do learn academic things and he does use the real potty though.

  9. My cousin does a couple hours a week of daycare for her kids starting around 3-4 just so she gets some me time and have a seriously part time. But otherwise, I can't really see the point of daycare for 6 hours a day if you are a SAHM.

  10. Oh, you don't know the half of it! I am in a middle childhood education program (to be a middle school English teacher). Most of the girls in my Earth Science and Math classes are early childhood ed. majors and most of them work in daycares. They get downright NASTY if you refer to their places of work as a daycare. They love to get on a soapbox and talk about their noble work as "teachers". It's pre-preschool! It's babysitting! These same chicas may be teachers one day but they need to realize they aren't yet. And parents need to stop perpetuating the myth haha

  11. I read your post earlier. I didn't comment b/c I don't have children, so I can't quite offer an opinion. I then went on a walk with a friend who kept referring to her two year old's daycare as school. I just busted out laughing and had to stop in the middle our walk. Needless to say, when I finally explained what I was laughing at, she didn't find it funny. She's convinced it's school. LOL!

  12. Haha, I have often been baffled at this characterization of day care. Totally with you on this one.

    Oh, and while I have no problem with people who need a break from their kids (trust me, I understand that), my oldest just started kindergarten with only a month or two of a couple hours a week of "pre-school" - really just day care the way they run it here. He's completely normal socially, and is advanced in reading. So, yeah, sending your kid thinking that playing with play dough in a "school" setting is somehow going to do them good seems a waste of money to me. Just buy the kid some play dough, give them forks and spoons and whatever, and watch them strengthen their fingers yourself! Your wallet will thank you.

  13. Once again we agree entirely! Were we separated at birth? ;)

    Here's the thing that baffles me about this issue- around here most of the stay at home mothers I know who send their kids to daycare CALL IT daycare. If we could afford it I would totally send Vivi for a few hours a couple days a week. Heck maybe I'd finally get something done around here, lol. (Technically we *could* "afford" it, but we choose to spend our extra $ in other areas) There's also a low cost program for 3 year olds on base and people call it simply the "3 year old program". Makes sense, right? I rarely hear a SAHM calling it something it isn't. In my experience, 9 times out of 10 it's the working Moms who call daycare "school".

    I wonder if somewhere, deep down, they feel guilty about dropping their kids off at a daycare all day so they can go out and pursue their own ambitions (or for more money/fancier lifestyle). You will NEVER convince me that military wives in our pay grade "have to work". That's complete BS. I didn't "have to work" even when *J* was an E-2 and we had a new baby at home. It's all about lifestyle and money management (and yes, sometimes some sacrifice here and there).

    Let me clarify- I don't think there's anything wrong with a mother working outside the home for any reason. I get it. You want to drive nice cars and own a home rather than live on base? So what? Doesn't make you a bad parent. You need more of an identity for yourself than just "mommy"? Nothing wrong with that either in my opinion. I feel like I'm losing myself sometimes being home 24/7 and I can absolutely see that side of it! You don't want your degree to go to waste while you stay home with your kids for a decade? That sounds entirely rational to me.

    So why the excuses? Just call it like it is! Be honest! You want to work- great! You send your kids to **DAYCARE**- great! 90% of them are probably wonderful establishments (and maybe even keep the kids busier than you could at home) There shouldn't be any shame in it!

    I'm rambling, but that's my theory. I think people feel guilty about it so they subconsciously think calling it "school" makes them look like a better parent, or makes it look less like they're "letting someone else raise their children" while they work.

    Either way though, it sounds ridiculous. I know a woman here who goes on and on about how much her 3 mth old loves his "school". C'mon! Really? What are they teaching him? How to drool effectively? ;)

    Now the daycare workers calling themselves "teachers"? I don't even know what to say about that :P *J* has a close friend from high school who's wife we thought for years was a teacher. She calls herself a teacher and talks about her "class" all the time. We asked her at dinner recently where she went to college and she said she never went at all- not even for an associates. Yup, turns out she works at a daycare center. I bet that drives the folks out there with Master's Degrees in education up the wall.

  14. Let's do a radio or TV show and call it "Telling It Like It Is"

    Of course I agree with you. It especially angers me when SAHM take their kids to all-day preschool or daycare. I totally understand an hour or two, if you need to go work out, get some stuff done, whatever, but six hours? Come on! You might as well get a job and leave them there for 8 hours.

  15. O I'm with ya! Where we lived previously my 4 year old was THE ONLY ONE who wasn't in preschool. They call it Kindergarten (anything before school, then Kindergarten is "Year 1"). I was ok when it was 3 and 4 year olds, but I lost it when the 2 year went to Kindergarten. And he went 4 or 5 days a week for 4 or 5 hours. His older sister was in a program that was similar, which left Mom with only one child every day, switched at lunch, and then other other one. At less than 2 1/2 this "Kindergarten" was "educating" this little kid who hasn't started potty training. Erm... NO. Mmhmm... and Mom was a SAHM. Another friend had it figured out that she had one in school, one in kindergarten (4), and one in DC .... I stood there wondering, "Why do you SAH?"

    It's not school. School at that age IS NOT necessary. And I want my girls to have their Preschool degree in playdough - if anything. That's it! *sigh*


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