update

and yet again.... STILL HERE. sigh.

I know he'll come in his own time, but everyday I get contractions and some other fun side effects (for the sake of the human race I wont elaborate) so I get the "this is it, today is the day!" feeling only to end up as I fall asleep saying, "or not so much."

And my mother has come into town so now I'm feeling the need to perform and pop this kid out so she can hurry up and hold him. Not that she's mentioned her overwhelming desire to hold a baby again or anything.

On a side note it looks like I'll get to have a September baby.

September is such a kick ass month, I mean, the crisp air, the bright blue sky, the beautiful leaves, and as if reminding is needed, the birth month of moi and my dear best friend (actually we share a birthday how trippy is that?) and that for you all means, some giveaways!

pssst.... I'm still here.

sigh

mish mosh post and a contest

*I had my 39 + wk apt today, I'm 3 cm dilated, I hope this means things will be happening soon. Being pregnant really is great, but I'm excited to meet my new little one. I know that this means that lots of waking up at night and crying fits (him not me) but really at the thought of no longer having to pee every five minutes I'm ready to walk across hot coals.

Or endure the pain of labor.
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*Dash 2 has found a new love in life.

Strawberry daiquiri's. Yup my two year old loves him some, as he calls it, stravery juice.

Don't worry, we don't add anything to them, well large amounts of cool whip but nothing illegal. I used to drink these as a kiddo and during our last heat wave the little one got the strawberry juice bug as well. He's smitten. I've also gotten him hooked on pink lemonade but you can't put large amounts of cool whip on it. Adapt and over come folks.

Flyboy shares his love of nerf guns, I share my love of frozen slushies.

That's what good parenting is all about, exposing kids to new things.
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*Because I am sitting here all crampy and tired, I'll admit that I'm just phoning it in. So why not have a little contest? Let's start a baby pool.

To win you need to be the closest guess to the time, date, and weight of the baby. Just a brief reminder since I'm guessing most of you don't have my due date marked on your calendars (actually I don't even have it marked on there) my due date is Sept. 1 but like I said, I'm hoping to go early.

Hey who knows maybe by the time this is out there I'll be at the hospital. If that happens I'll just go with the closest time and weight.

And don't worry I might not have figured it out right now but there will be a prize. Maybe a nice candle or one of the dash brothers or something. I haven't worked out the finer points yet, this just came to me.

Good luck! And this contest will be open till dash-3 shows up.

oh and in case I disappear for a few days, ya know to pop out a baby and what not, don't forget to go vote (daily if you are so inclined)! I hate to bug you all but the contest ends on the 31st and who knows what I'll be up too in the coming days.

My husband... is strange

My husband cracks me up.

Dash-1's teachers are always talking to me about his "intensity" I just stare at them and say, quite honestly, "he gets it from his father". Now he gets his Irish temper from me but we aren't talking about me now are we?

Anyways the other day I saw a perfect illustration of my dear flyboys quirkiness. He very lovingly said he would clean the bathroom since even the routine (and necessary) act of putting on my shorts requires serious effort.

Well, when I clean the bathroom I like to think I do a decent job, I spray down everything, wipe up the counters, the tub, the shower, all the pee around the toilet, shoot sometimes I wonder why bother cleaning the toilet since all the pee is around it but I still do.

His idea of cleaning? He got the steamer thingy and steamed the ENTIRE bathroom. He got the tub and shower cleaner then it was when we moved in, seriously, it was breathtaking.

BREATHTAKING. It sparkled.

He even disassembled the toilet and the seat to clean it, I didn't even know you could do that, or that one would.

The whole bathroom was like a glittering bathroom commercial. Surely I thought that was that. But he still had more to do. He wanted to wax the tub and don't get me wrong that does help to keep it wicked shiny and dirt just glides right off. Yet its not ideal when you have a wobbly, off balanced, wicked pregnant wife and two dumb daredevil little boys who like to stand in the bath tub during bath time.

He conceded my point but was very disappointed. However I did walk in moments later to find him buffing polish off the counter tops and sinks.

Now I'll give you this bathroom cleaning isn't so much strange, he's a Marine, a thorough guy. He misses the old field day (deep cleaning, think of the kind with a toothbrush, to you none military types). But you have to understand it in the grand picture. Later that day we were cleaning out my new car, I was tidying up and I turn around to find him wipping down his shop vac with armoral protectorant wipes.

Yes folks, he was armoralling his shop vac. Now that is odd. But it is nice and shiny now.

I betcha my friend is reading this and getting all warm and fuzzy. She gives her husband a hard time because she cleans like flyboy and he cleans like me. Sometimes I think she gets jealous when I make fun tell her about his cleaning fits.

Oh and one more thing I said I was going to call him out on because it just doesn't seem right. He has taken to hiding his new nerf gun. He hangs it on the back of our bedroom door and then arranges our bath towels over it, checking it to make sure it's loaded. Why you ask is a grown man hiding his nerf gun?

Although what is a grown man who is well trained in the use of actual firearms doing with a nerf gun might be a better question.

He's hiding it from his children. So that he will have quick access to his weapon should he need to instill law and order. In case the little people we spawned attack.

Sigh. And this is what I live with.

In all fairness, I'd totally be all over flyboy writing a funny post about me like this but every time I ask him to post something he just gives me a look. I think he'd rather take the toliet apart and plan for all out nerf war.

But, no problemo my friends, because I love him. And even more so because he loves me.

And its blog fodder.

Today is the day!

No apparently it is not that day.

I'm not quite yet the mother of three boys. I apologize if you guys all saw that and thought I was in labor. But then again if it got your attention.... hmmm... well... so be it. I'm not above using my "just about to pop" status.

So what am I talking about? Guess who's day it is to be featured over at Project Mommyhood?

I'll give you a hint, she likes to think that she is witty, sarcastic, occasionally serious and heartfelt, and of course, who could forget, damn near 15 mths pregnant.

If you guess ME you'd be right, right, right.

So pop on over, show this mommy some love. Oh and please, take a minute to vote!

who's your best girl? and a side rant

Whenever I ask the boys if I can be their best girl the answers are always the same.

From dash-1 I get a hug, perhaps a kiss but always a "sure mommy".

From dash-2 I get finger point, what I think is his version of a snap, and a "maybe tomorrow".

Ouch. I'm trying not to let this harm my fragile ego.

Oh and a little side rant. To all you drivers out there, when in a parking lot, waiting for someones parking space, if they happen to be like 15 months pregnant, lugging two kids out of the cart, then the bags, then strapping said children into car seats (AS REQUIRED BY LAW MIND YOU) and returning the cart do not make exasperated looks at her.

I'm moving as fast as I can. Really, that really is as fast as I move these days. Except to the bathroom or to get ice cream.

And honestly, even if I'm not bite me, your in your car, you're going to get a space, do some damn deep breathing. Or better yet, bite me. Or offer me ice cream.

Oh and when I turn on my car, you know so I can drive it, buckle my seat belt and turn on my ac because again, I'm like 15 months pregnant I sweat standing still and its in the 90's, RELAX. I am moving. I will be pulling out of this space, you will be able to park your car. It is not my dream to hang out in my car with my two kids in the W@l-mart parking lot.

Not even just to mess with your mind. Ok maybe a little bit. But really, give people a break.

And if there is a parking space that is like four feet further from the door.... don't hound the poor pregnant lady and make me feel more flustered then I already do on a daily basis.

And really, who's in that big of a hurry to get into W@lmart and be surrounded by the winners in there?

blah

I got nothing. As of right now, nothing funny or quirky to report on.

Nothing, nada, zilch.

Maybe something will come to me later.

Reusable maxi pads and nerf guns

I get an email daily about giveaways of handmade items. Most are very nifty, handmade soaps, jewelry, you get the gist, however I've also been noticing a fair number of of something else.
Homemade, reusable, pads. And I'm not talking note pads here folks. Hand made, reusable sanitary pads.

Maybe I'm just not eco friendly enough but that whole concept is lost on me. I want to help the enviroment but I must draw a line somewhere. I buy the biodegradable tampons isnt that enough? And I recycle my plastics, cans, and toss our food in a compost pile. Washing out my sanitary pads is just too much.

Waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Maybe if I spotted instead of a full on period but even then, I just have to draw my desire to save the world at recycling my pads. You'll see me in a hybrid car or lightening my house by candle light before that's going to happen.

And I'm sure you're all thrilled that I'm sharing this with you. But really, I've seen quite a few giveaways for them. And on that note, what an odd thing to give away.

Not to be too personal but do these appeal to anyone out there?

On another totally unrelated note, the doctor reccomended walking around to help "unstick" the baby (he's not medically stuck I just feel like he is). Anyways, we are having horrible humidity and storms so she did say not to walk in the heat so our options were limited.

What to do? Head to a GIANT mall a bit south of us and just walk, walk, walk. I'd like to share what happens when you take two little boys and one Marine to the mall. You come home with... these:

And nothing for mommy. And mind you, we ALREADY have nerf guns, but these, these babies have lasers for targeting.

A must have so I'm told.

But in the interest of full, honest, disclosure, I must admit that while testing one out, I shot dash-2 at close range... in the eye. Whoops.

But to my defense these triggers are very sensitive. I've given up nerfing for a bit. I'll just stick to the computer and holding down the couch while they beat each other up.

Giveaway winner!

Congrats to Loquita who won a copy of the Sounds of Silence Baby Settling System and CD! For all of those who know loquita thru the blog world, don't worry, you didn't miss an announcement of any sort. She IS NOT expecting she entered for her sister, who is due in December. I just didn't want to start any bloggy rumors or anything.

I think your sister and your brother in law will enjoy it and what a novel concept, to figure out the whole sleep thing on your FIRST kid rather then waiting till your THIRD!

My birthday is in September so I have a fun giveaway in mind to celebrate the month of the mrs. Stay tuned its a giveaway for everyone not just those with ankle biters.

The pregnant cow is mocking me

I am going to be pregnant forever. I'm certain of it. Really. Fooorrreeevvveeerrr.

I'm 38 wks and 2 days and at my appointment today the doctor said it looks like I'll be back for my 39 wk appointment. I actually thought I was going to cry when she said this. Seriously people, I'm that close to my breaking point.

Again this is probably my last pregnancy, I still say maybe more, flyboy says yeah right... with your second husband, so in a way the last few weeks of pregnancy are bitter sweet.

In a way.

In another big way I'm just ready to pop. But it doesn't seem like it's every going to happen and I might just be pregnant and waddle around in this heat forever. Even the knocked up cow who popped a bit ago is smirking at me.

I see her looks and I know she's laughing at my misery right now.

Oh and for those of you who don't remember or are new readers, I'm not being bitchy it really is a pregnant cow, you know bovine, not just someone I'm calling a cow. I'm really not in any position to do that right now.

At least I've lost two pounds and well, since I'm still pregnant I'm going to buy vast quantities of ice cream and make me some rice krispie treats to suck down.

Why? Because I can.

ps. don't forget to go vote for me! that might help to improve my mood and make me slightly less bitchy. Flyboy thanks you in advance.

Oh and I'll be featured on her site on the 26th but don't worry I'll remind yall.

Sleep or sex?

I heard something on the radio this morning while I was in the car about a survey in which people were asked if they would rather have a night of perfect uninterrupted sleep or great sex.

I'm pretty sure over 50% chose sleep but given my pregnancy brain and the continued heat wave I can't remember for sure. But I know what I would choose... hands down....

SLEEP.

I mean really, perfect uninterrupted sleep? Are you serious? HELLO PEOPLE UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP!

I love my husband and well since I keep popping out kids obviously the sex is there but really, I want sleep right now. Unless sex will induce labor and then bring it on baby. And well, since he's in the military we go without sex for months at a time anyways but perfect sleep is just an illusion around here.

But I'm curious, which would you rather have? Great sleep or great sex?

**UPDATE** So I asked flyboy what his answer would be and he had two questions.

A. Is the sex with anyone or does it have to be with your spouse and B. what constitutes a great nights sleep?

The best part of having a great marriage?

Not being offended by your husband.

I must confess

Sometimes I have tunnel vision. Occasionally I can become a bit worked up over things.

This comes as a big shock doesn't it?

If you all will remember I got flyboy a kick ass amazing father's day gift, because well, he deserved it. A very nifty Garmin GPS watch that does a whole buncha things... apparently....he talks about it but well, I just smile and nod.

I just wanted to get him a kick ass gift, I don't really care what the damn thing does.

So when I bought the thing, which might I add was a tad on the pricey side and he's lucky father's day occurred before the piece of poo saturn that I loved but due to GM going down the tube forced us to buy a new car (a FORD might I add) because the government is so busy bailing out companies and corporations it's screwing the rest of us hard working Americans car crapped out and we had to buy a new one, cause well, I don't know if that toy would have been purchased, it came with a rebate.

And I love me a rebate. But I don't like me the waiting so much.

Well, when I check online it says my rebate should have arrived a few days ago, but alas it has not. And it's little things like this that drive me insane.

Stupid I know. But its part of who I am. And it aint changing anytime soon.

Really I find myself looking in the mailbox with the same anticipation I had when flyboy was at war and I was waiting for mail. This is ridiculous. And it's only $50.

Although I rarely ever say only in regards to any sum of money, shoot I'd be this worked up over 15 bucks, but it's true that it's not some huge sum of money that I can roll around in just for the thrill.

It's time's like these that a few various thoughts run thru my mind, a. why am I sharing my oddness with the world? b. perhaps I need a hobby.... or medication... c.... ohh, is that the mail truck........

**update** the check came, I can now move on to obsessing about something else... let's see.... perhaps on when I'll give birth... or maybe potty training -2... or what to have for dinner.....

So much to choose from.

bathroom dilema

Allright. I have something I would like to talk about. The family restroom in stores.

It's funny cause I've read a couple of post in the past month or two where people have, rightly so, taken issue with boys being in the women's room and then in the past few weeks I've been shafted and it's gotten me thinking about this topic.

Well some very smart stores and or rest stops have come up with a BRILLIANT solution. A family restroom. Really this is ingenious.

A very nice sized single restroom where a mom or dad can take their kids in without having to expose little girls to the mens room or little boys to the women's room. They are also easier to navigate a stroller or multiple kids in and usually always have a changing table.

So here's my beef. When I'm standing outside the door, waiting and waiting and waiting and out comes a single person. Holy crap when it's an employee I really get pushed over the edge.

Yes, that's right, I want to discriminate. I don't want you single people using my bathroom.

I know, it probably sounds harsh and honestly, feel free to disagree with me in the comments, I welcome dissent (ahem, polite dissent that is) but hear me out.

Those bathrooms serve a purpose. So I don't have to drag my BOYS in the ladies room, because in case some of you out there aren't aware, not everyone thinks that it's cute to have boys, even little boys in the women's room. I have gotten some shitty glares even though I make them come in the stall with me and or face the corner.

I get it, the family room is usually cleaner and roomier and well, who doesn't like privacy in a public place but come on folks. That's there for little kids who can't hold their pee. I mean you think a pregnant lady needs to go when she needs to go, let me introduce you to a child working on potty training.

The other day I went to a fabulous store, it rhymes with warget, and of course, first stop, the family restroom. But the door was locked. So I dragged the boys in the women's room. The handicap stall, the only stall that fits a very pregnant lady and two kids in it was icky, like wicked icky, and the other stalls well, it wasn't going to happen. I would have had to stand on the stall to get us all to fit and well that wouldn't have made any sense now would it?

And remember there is some bit of a safety issue. It's not the world we grew up in. I'm nervous leaving my kids outside the stall in a public place. Call me a weenie or scardy cat but it only takes a minute and a perv.

So out to the family restroom to wait and wait we did when out popped a 20 something single gal. Really? You couldn't have used a stall in the regular bathroom, plenty were open when I was in there.

Look folks, you don't get it both ways. You don't want my boys in the bathroom but you want to hog the one that we have. And I get waiting, you sometimes have to wait in the regular restroom why shouldn't you have to wait for the family one. Because its for kids darn it! And well, they don't always hold their pee so well. Hence the whole diaper phase. It takes us some time to work out all the kinks.

I know some people without kids think that us people with kids just think the world revolves around us. And well... maybe in this instance I do. Just leave our bathroom alone. k?

You know, I really don't mean to offend anyone. Really I dont and I hope I didn't. I blame the heat.

ps. GIVEAWAY open down below! Oh and if you were off the blogs this weekend don't forget to vote for me! (daily if you really like me wink wink)

GIVEAWAY! Sounds for Silence- baby settling program

I wrote an honest mommy post a bit ago about how us mom's have something that we all feel kinda in adequate about. Mine inadequacy was getting my babies to be good sleepers. I went for over an entire year waking up just about every two or three hours with dash-1 and -2 was a only a little better.

I also went thru that first year feeling like a horrible mom when it came to sleep, something pretty darn basic I thought.

Now I understand that we all have those areas of parenting that make us feel like we might be getting a big ol incomplete, mine was sleep, someone else's might be that their 2 year old still uses a pacifier, or doesn't eat all his veggies like their mother-in-law says they should be.

From that post I got an interesting email from a fellow out in Australia who works for a company, oKidokie which has, what else, a sleep system! He sent me a copy of their beautiful book and cd program to look over and review and one to GIVEAWAY!

Obviously since I don't have the new kiddo in hand quite yet to try it out on I had to settle on just reading over the info, but let me tell you..... HALLELUJAH!

This book is great, and again, I'm not saying that because they sent me one, I have told companies thanks but no thanks before.

It's called Sounds for Silence Baby Settling Program. It includes a Baby Settling and Health Guide, which is a lovely hard back book with details the program, gives great baby care info, has a behavior chart to track crying and what not, family stories that anyone can relate too, and other great information.

Also included is a soundtrack with is crucial to settling the little one. I haven't a clue how to describe some of the sounds to you short of what they use to label them! Environmental sounds (thing gurgling and swooshing), white noises, and some good old fashion classical music.

They use a combination of SMS, Security- from swaddeling or an object of comfort, M- movement, and S-the Sounds for Silence CD.

What I found the most beneficial part of the book was not just how the information was presented, its laid out very simply, very easy to read, quite nice since the days of laying around reading are long gone, but that there was not a condescending tone in the least.

And it really details out their tips for using the cd and their settling tips. I like things spelled out clearly for me. I do well with directions.

I have bought other infant care, toddler care, sleep issue books and honestly, most of them made me feel even worse. This book really is a breath of fresh air. And I'm so excited to get to give one away to a lucky reader!

For those of you who are interested in the program, you can get it thru their website oKidokie or on Amazon. Really this is a baby book worth getting.

And really, even if you aren't in the baby stage any longer, don't have kids or damn you, your kids already sleep thru the night, but you know someone who is having a baby or just had a baby this would make a fantastic gift so you can still enter. I'm cool like that.

*For ONE entry, leave a comment where you tell me what your mommy inadequacey was (or still is). There is growth in sharing people. (If you don't have kids yet then I'll excuse you from coming up with one)

*For an additional entry blog about this giveaway on your blog. (please leave a seperate comment so I know you blogged about)

*And for yet one more additional entry tweet about the giveaway!

Good luck! The giveaway will be open until Friday the 21st at noon.

Unless I go into labor then in which case you'll have a couple extra days.

ahem...

Just a (very casual reminder) that voting started today for Project Mommyhood Mommy Blog of the Year.

Not that I'm saying GO VOTE FOR ME or anything like that, nope, not at all. Just wanted to remind you guys. (there is a conveniently located button on my sidebar, hey I'm just trying to help y'all out)

And thank you to those who have already voted. (Or might be heading straight over there now. no pressure though)

Oh another note I can't imagine that I have two more weeks left. I thought for sure I was going into labor this morning, so if I'm not around the blogosphere as much lately, the last bit of pregnancy is kicking my ass. And its finally butt ass hot up here so thats just adding to the fun.

And yes, butt ass hot is a very technical term. I like to be technical around here.

thankful moments

There are days in parenting that beat you down. Days that can easily break your spirit and your sanity.

And then there are days like today.

Days when fights and bickering are few and far between, laughter seems a bit more free flowing, where nothing spectacular happens but at the same time things just seem to fall into place.

One of the best parts of being a parent is getting to live life once again thru the eyes of your kids. Grass isn't just grass, its something to be studied, dandelions aren't weeds, they are flowers to be picked and given with all the love of roses, butterflies aren't just something that occasionally get stuck in your car's grill, they are something to be chased after while giggling.

Days like today are filled with moments like those.

And those are the moments that make me thankful to be a mom.

The moments where you remember to stop; to stop and watch, to stop and take in the joy with your kids, the joy that is your kids; to stop and remind yourself that perfection exist in those moments.

Project Mommyhood Mommy Blog of the Year Finalist

Holy poop my blog made the list!

I'm a finalist in Project Mommyhood's Mommy Blog of the Year!


I'm in the company of some awesome mommy bloggers so that whole, "its an honor to be nominated" thing is very, very true. Really, I consider these mommy blogs to be the "big leagues" and I'm shocked that mine made the cut.

Please folks, come on out and vote for my little old blog. Starting on Saturday, there will be a poll up on the Project Mommyhood site to vote on.

I'll pull out all the stops to win. I am even prepared to bring new life into this world if that will get me some bonus points!

Actually I'm quite ready to bring new life into this world regardless of whether it gets me ahead but that's besides the point.

Thanks to all the readers who nominated me. Really you guys, part of what makes this blog so much fun are the sweet, funny, and meaningful comments that you guys leave.

Oh.... and ahem... maybe spread the word?

Where did my shame go?

JG left a comment about how my honesty and lack of shame made following my life funny. What I loved was that after she wrote out lack of shame she added no offense.

Puhleeez none taken!

Actually lack of shame pretty adequately describes life around here most of the time.

Much to flyboy's chagrin.

I'm pretty sure lack of shame goes hand in hand with motherhood. In fact I can pinpoint the exact moment I lost it.

It was right around when they wheeled in the giant spotlight during dash-1's delivery. I can still hear them flicking on the light, ever been at a major league ballpark when they turn on the big lights and you hear the whoosh whoosh whoosh sound as they flick on?

Well it wasn't that loud, but still, as you're laying with your legs in the stirrups and a big ol' light is wheeled in it might as well be that loud.

So anyways, because I'm having some blogging block, I figured I'd do a post to share some shameful, yet funny, little things.

- I frequently have on occasion called flyboy on his cellphone when he's downstairs because I'm upstairs and too lazy to walk down to get something for myself. I wish I could say I've only done this while pregnant. In fact tonight I was going to do it and was so lazy that I didn't because the phone was four steps away from me on the bed. How shameful is that?

- The other night I did something that even flyboy said he would never do. (Which I might add I'm not so sure about that) My dear dash-2 has a new favorite, he is in love with strawberry ice cream, which he calls strawvery. His idea of shear happiness is eating a strawvery ice cream cone while sitting on the porch. And what did I do? I finished off the strawvery ice cream one night.

Yeah that's right, I ate me some strawvery ice cream once he had gone to sleep and it just happened to be the last in the container. Flyboy thought that was perhaps the lowest a mother could stoop. Perhaps a regular mom but not a pregnant one. I know no depths when its comes to food.

And I did get him more the next day.

- I have actually forgotten to feed my kids lunch before.

I can hear flyboy smacking his forehead wondering why I'm sharing this with the world, because I am me my dear. That's why.

But seriously, I wasn't goofing off on the internet or laying on the couch eating bon bons, but there have been days when chores were just getting knocked out left and right and the kids were just playing so nicely that holy crap, I look up and see the time and realize we skipped right over lunch.

Now in the interest of full disclosure, gulp, there was actually a day when I forgot to feed them lunch and dinner.

**hanging my head in shame**

But to our defense we were having a great day doing some art projects and food was just a mere after thought. And flyboy was away so there wasnt that reminder when he got home from work.

And my kids are healthy and relatively well adjusted and don't worry, I'm much better about remembering to feed them lately.

Shoot, I think I've shared enough. And you know what else. I'm slapping up my honest mommy button here too, because darn it, I can. And because like I said, I think to a certain extent, lack of shame, goes with motherhood, at least honest motherhooding.

a reintroduction post if you will

Casey is having a blogging carnival to kinda introduce people to you. She said to pick a blog post that tells folks about you or why you blog. That seemed like a lot of work, I started this blog almost two years ago, I gotta lotta post...and most are wordy, it seemed easier just to recap.

So I'll hit the high points for you. And I'll probably be doing it in my usual wordy fashion.

First off, I am my husband's wife. I am lucky enough to be married to a hot stud in a flight suit my love for the past six and a half years. Really it seems longer. And I mean that in a good way. He is affectionately known around these parts as flyboy, since he looks so good in a flight suit he's a marine aviator.

The joy of our lives and the bulk of my blog fodder comes from navigating military life and our little boys. Dash-1 who is 4 1/2 and dash-2 who is 2 1/2 and a soon to be joining us dash-3 in just a matter of weeks. I'm a stay at home mom, which translates into butt wiper, poop detector, head chef, activities director, personal shopper, judge, jury, nurse, translator, you name it it's in the job description.

Life is seldom boring around here. Let's see in past post dash-1 thought he had a third nipple on his ankle, my kids think I have a super power to make milk, flyboy taught our kids that hating is wrong but it's ok to hate Jimmy, and I've stood in more pee then ever thought possible, wow the list could go on and on.

See what I mean I couldn't pick just one post?!

That's pretty much us in a nutshell, although not peanuts, dash-1 is allergic. That could just get ugly.

So to any new readers hopping over from Casey's welcome, hope to see you back, and for all you faithful followers I'm kinda curious, what keeps you coming back? It's my charm isn't it? That's how I snagged flyboy.

Any topics you think I should hit on more? More military? More kids stuff? More adult stuff? Although be warned, my mind seldom travels from kids stuff over to adult stuff.

Crisis adverted

There was a crisis in the flyboy household this morning. While blow drying my hair dash-1 appeared in the bathroom to show me that he had had a spot on his ankle that matched the two he had near his tummy (you know his nipples, or nips as he likes to call them).

Really folks, I can't make this stuff up. And I haven't a clue where he comes up with it.

However, the crisis was averted when I pointed out that it was merely a bug bite. And that he was not in fact a medical oddity.

Yet.

Saturday yummmm-o

These days, if my mind is occupied by finding a bathroom it's occupied by food. I'm only human.

So I thought I would share a yummo recipe that is in my oven as we speak, sadly I'm also typing this up so it will seem like they are cooking faster. Sausage balls, mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

My grandmothers recipe although its out there everyone, so I don't actually think she made it up. I'll have to call her bluff next time we meet up in the great beyond.

2 cups of bisquick
1 pound of sausage (I use turkey sausage and you cant tell the difference)
2 cups of grated sharp cheddar cheese (but hey, use the cheese you like)

These are super simple, add just about a 1/2 cup of water to the bisquick to moisten it some, it will still be fairly dry, this is normal, then add the sausage and the cheese and mix. I use the kneading attachment on my kitchen aide mixer if you don't have something like that well, you can always use your hands!

Form into little balls, pop in the oven at 35o degrees. And pull up a chair to the oven so you can watch them bake. Or blog. That will help get your mind off of them.

Flyboy likes them hot, I like them cold the next day out of the fridge but really, either way they are delicious.

oooh I think they are done.....

Dash-3 has a name

There is resolution in the flyboy household. **insert chorus of angels singing here**

A name for our newest dash has been decided on.

Shoot we've even filled out the birth certificate form, well all except the info of his actual birth. Apparently they like you to be very accurate on that not just guesstimate. Probably better that way.

Thomas Joseph, much as I liked the name and loved the meaning behind it was vetoed out once and for all. Turns out there was a Jospeh at some point in flyboy's working career who is now in jail for some not so nice kid related stuff. He said he just couldn't get past that with the name. When I explained that to my mom expecting her to side with me and poo poo him that his reason outweighs a dead brother (she had a baby brother who passed away named Joseph if you didn't catch that post) so he wins.

Damn. I hate when she sides with him, it just inflates his ego.

And if you'll remember his other choice was Seamus, I just couldn't get on board with that. It didn't fit with our other boys names and well, I don't want him getting beat up routinely.

So it's settled, Thomas Parker.

Not only is Parker a great name, it happens to be my maiden name and this way, it goes on with one of my boys. My mother gave my brother her maiden name as his middle name and I really wanted to do the same with a boy should we have them.

I didn't know we'd end up with three. Or that it would take the third boy to get my way.

The name means a lot to me in another way and especially as I get more hormonal it's making me very sentimental. My little one will have the same exact name as my grandfather (he didn't have a middle name) who passed away a few years before I was born.

From what I know of him he was an amazing man. He served his country proudly during WW2, was a smarty pants who earned his college degree while working on the railroad, was a family man who worshiped the ground my grandmother walked on and vice versa. And was wicked sarcastic. Clearly its genetic.

I never knew my grandfather. But I feel like I did. My grandmother was a very special lady in my life. My sister and I were born in rather close succession shortly after my grandfather died. Her soulmate was no longer there and I think she clung to the new life as a way to move thru the grief.

Not to mention, like me, she had three boys and now she finally had some girls around. And as my mother tells me, grandkids are WAY more fun then your own kids.

My grandmother was so in love with my grandfather that she kept his memory alive for as long as she was alive. She passed away while I was in college. She wasn't there to share in my graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children. Right now I want nothing more then to call her up and tell her that we picked a name and what it was, she would be thrilled.

But alas, that's one long distance call I can't make.

As much as I'm naming him for my maiden name and for my grandfather, part of me is naming him for my grandmother. Like I said, I know she would be thrilled.

And probably laughing hysterically that I too am enduring the fate of having three boys.

If a small is a medium and a medium is a large what's a regular?

I like to fancy myself a rather intelligent person. I did well in school, survived college, heck I was halfway thru a master's before I had kids. But apparently I am too slow to catch on to new sizes when it comes to fast food drinks.

Perhaps it's less my intelligence and more my short term memory. Or maybe I'm just old school and a small should be a small and a large should be a large, not a giant two litter designed to fit in your car cup holder.

It seems more and more fast food chains are changing the sizes. And this annoys me. A lot. When I order a small or medium I wanted just that, A SMALL or MEDIUM. Do not hand me what is clearly a LARGE and tell me that's the new size.

Here's a clue folks, if the cup is so big I can barely hold it with one hand, quite obviously, NOT A MEDIUM. In fact I'm not even sure in what world that is a large.

I'm not one of those people who tirades against fast food. I eat it, my kids eat it, although I make my kids eat the "healthier options" they are eating apples while I eat fries. Bless his heart -1 wrinkles his nose if you even offer one to him. And by no means do they drink soda. I am sadly a coca cola freak, this I admit, however it will be a long time till sweet soda crosses their lips.

Face it, fast food has a place in our world and its here to stay, I'm not railing against that I just don't understand why they can't leave the damn sizes alone.

I can't help to think that perhaps the fact that a medium is now a friggin ginormous isn't helping the fat state of our country. Plus some of us are creatures of habit and will continue to order smalls and mediums only to be handed WAY more then we want or need.

I suppose I could just drink exclusively water and solve this problem. However I'm thinking the world would not be a better place if I didn't have my one fountain coke a day. In fact it would be a much scarier place.

A spa day with nemo

It was almost like a spa.

Close your eyes and I'll take you there.

The nice minty smell of my CO Bigelow menthol conditioner, a little tingle on my scalp, sudsing my arms with my citrus melon non soap cleanser (that might I add I found in a stockpile while I was cleaning earlier, score!), I'm actually relaxing.

And then.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM blow up my nemo for me?"

In comes dash-1 to ask me to blow up his inflatable nemo floatie from Disney. Oh the mrs. we didn't realize your house had a pool? Sweet.

It doesn't. I don't know what's in store for nemo.

So back to the spa like shower. I very nicely explained that I would blow up nemo to the best of my 36 week pregnant abilities when I was done, if I was asked one second before I was done I would cut nemo into little pieces with scissors.

Those were my exact words in case you need them for the nomination of mother of the year.

Dash-1 for once catches on that I might just be serious and leaves.

I rinse the minty conditioner from my hair enjoying how soft it is and then.....

"I seeeeeee youuuuuuu!" dash-2 rips back the curtain and actually looks like he's thinking about jumping in.

This was the point I just gave up. Turn off the water and realized that my bathroom will never be a spa sanctuary.

And then someone tossed in an inflatable nemo for me to blow up. "I don't hear any water going......"

In case your wondering, nemo hasn't been hacked up yet and yes I did manage to blow up not one but two nemos.

My fat trap

I have a problem, actually flyboy has a similar problem and its spilling over into our parenting. We are a tad on the sarcastic side.

Hard to believe no?

As sarcastic and snarky as I am on here, I am in real life and that my friends, carries over to child rearing. I grew up in a sarcastic household so really, I blame my parents.

The other night we were watching the Incredibles together and flyboy asked dash-1 what his super power would be. His reply, "I shoot bad guys."

Flyboy jumped in with "hey so do I". Great now he can share with his preschool class that daddy shoots bad guys AND pushes people out of his airplane. (Remember he's the only military kid in his class, they don't get the context of a lot of what comes out of his mouth.)

But really compared to my foot in mouth episode that was nothing. Dash-1 looks over at me and asks me so nicely what my power would be. I couldn't resist. I couldn't stop myself.

"I make milk. Let's see you boys pull that off."

Really? I couldn't just stay quiet? Would that have been so hard?

Now he keeps following me around asking me to make milk.

My mother always said I was a smart ass, but then again, I learned from her.

I'm sorry

My husband pointed something out last night that most certainly has not escaped my attention, it would seem that as of late, I'm not always the nicest person to be around.

Shocking no?

I know I'm sure you all out there think that I just burp rainbows and butterflies but as much as I hate too, I must dispel that notion.

In fact I'm kinda cranky lately. Actually crank pot is probably a better description. And I don't mean to be, really I don't. I'm just well, really freakin kinda uncomfortable and well a tad overwhelmed, not even so much by the prospect of having three kids, but more so by life in general.

I'm thrilled to be pregnant, I am so grateful for the chance to get to have a little one inside me thriving and growing every day. The blessing of this does not escape me. Really it doesn't. And neither does the very very strong likely hood that this will be our last little one.

Flyboy can say with all certainty that this will be our last, however he has given me his blessing to have more children with my second husband. Point taken, however the hormones in me are skewing my judgement a tad on this issue.

I'm sad that my time being pregnant is coming to an end. The kicks and tickles that little boy and I share just between us are about to end and he'll make his grand, screaming entrance into the world, and then like any parent knows, where it goes from there is any ones guess!

Yet at the same time, I've also reached that point in pregnancy where I am uncomfortable no matter what. The kicks and tickles are wonderful but the crushing of my internal (and if I might add I'm thinking pretty darn vital) organs are stifling at times. I can't bend over, I waddle, I ache, the all day sickness and barfing I had for the first 23 weeks is creeping back, I feel short of breath no wonder I'm a cranky. Really its a wonder flames aren't shooting out of my eyes.

I can't decide on a baby announcement, not the end all be all but I just want to get one picked and in place, the boys aren't sleeping great so they are just *joys* during the day, we just had to buy a new car and take on a car payment, oh and the battery has died twice on the new car that we JUST bought.

Not to mention that I just feel lazy and lacking any and all energy to get the house organized and cleaned or dinner on the table so that my dear husband doesn't come home from work and wonder why he married me.

My to do list does have things checked off, but I still feel fairly useless.

Useless and cranky.

to do

I feel as though there is progress being made in the flyboy household.

What kind you ask? Is one dash brother potty trained and the other no longer talking back? No no, not so much, but quite frankly I wasn't expecting huge progress in those departments. I'm a realist, not a miracle worker.

But we are making progress on the baby front and with just about four weeks to go that's a good thing to quote a famous felon homemaker extraordinaire.

Our to do list:
-decide on a name that will not result in hours of teasing come middle school
-paint the nursery walls, done lovingly by my sweet flyboy and his "big helper" dash-1
-hang up everything and put said painted nursery back together (pictures will at some point follow)
-convince the dashes that having a baby around will be oodles of fun (all in all we don't so much care if they are on board, this is happening whether they like it or not)
-set up the stroller and car seat
-buy a new roomy car... oh wait. This wasn't on the list. Oh yeah it kinda just crept in there. But it's taken care of none the less.
-start finish my freezer cooking
-pack hospital bag for moi and the baby and bags for the boys
-hope and pray the baby doesn't come early while our babysitters are out of town.

So there, I'm sure you were all dying to know this much about my to do list. I'm hoping now that its out there in black and white I'll have the actual motivation to get to the rest of it.

And the whole potty training, talking back thing too.