Saturday, March 29, 2008

Life is like my bathroom

This maybe an odd post but hear me out it should make sense at some point.

I hosted a big play date a little while ago, back when everyone was healthy so lord knows how long that's been. One of the moms was walking around upstairs and said something to the extent that my bathroom was tiny and she couldn't function with a bathroom like that. Not in a snobby way but just that it was too small for her taste. OK to each their own, didn't really bother me.

For some reason every time I go into my bathroom now I think about what she said. The other night I was taking a shower while the boys were asleep and I was enjoying the peace and quiet and it dawned on me why I keep thinking about that comment. I love our bathroom. It's what sold me on the house. This place is an old farmhouse from the 1850's complete with the original wide plank pine floors and the outhouse out back. Nothing like looking at an outhouse when its 15 degrees outside to be thankful for indoor plumbing. But indoor plumbing isn't what sold me, I hear that comes standard in most houses now.

Our bathroom just has a cheery feel to it. It's on the small side, I'll give ya that. Its just a little to wide to say you could pee in the toilet from the tub, but just barely. The vanity is small, just the sink and enough room for some soap. The tub is a bit on the smaller size but it holds two little boys just perfect. I can touch the ceiling with my finger tips but I think it adds a cozy feel on cold days. There is a rather large (compared to the size of the room) window that has a beautiful view of a big old willow tree and the cow pastures. Not to shabby for a little room.

Now I'm not always the first to look at the bright side of things, but for some reason I have a hard time coming up with any negatives for this room. To me it seems like a pretty good metaphor for our military life, or really life in general. It might not work for everyone but for us it does. It is what you make it. You bring to it the attitude that you want to carry you through. This isn't to say that I don't see the negatives that come with military life. I do. Oh do I ever, but at the end of the day its what is working for us. We take the good and the bad and nine times out of the ten the good comes out ahead. But it can only do that when we bring that attitude to the table. Hmmm, note to self, try to apply this a little more.

Ah the revelations that come to me in the shower. Could you imagine what would come to me if I had time for a bath?

Friday, March 28, 2008

adios

The puking returned last night, even I got in on the action. I think mine is more from just exhaustion and maybe the tacos I had. The boys, oh I dont know. Surely it has to end sometime.

If you dont hear from me in the next few days its cause I've run away.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why I love a Marine Base

Gasp two post in one night. I'm feeling giddy that its still quiet around here. I had to go by flyboy's work today to pick up something from his car and since I was already there I figured I'd go ahead and replace the year sticker for my DoD sticker on my car. For some reason the batch of year stickers they have fade and I keep getting hassled going onto the Army post so I needed a new sticker.

I didn't realize I was showing up that the office 2 minutes before they opened up after lunch, when I got there the place was FILLED with Marines. I had the little ones with me, Dash-1 was walking, off in his own world as always, and I was carrying Dash-2. The second one of the Marines saw me coming he came out to open the main door for me, when I got inside the building I noticed another Marine was holding open the office door. Someone got up so that I could balance Dash-2 in the chair instead of standing up with a squirming 15 month old and another Marine was being so polite while Dash-1 was telling him all about how a jet engine works (flyboy taught Dash-1 the dummies guide to a jet engine, "suck, squeeze, bang, blow". It makes sense and Dash-1 can actually explain it pretty well but still, does a three year old really need to have that in his arsenal to repeat at some very awkward times?) this guy was even further explaining it to Dash-1 who was eating this up. When the Sgt. came to the window to start seeing people, despite my being the last to arrive, a Marine told me to go first, when I asked if he was sure and looked around at everyone else to make sure nobody was going to run up and demand to go in order, everyone of the Marines nodded in agreement.

Chivalry isn't dead, not in the least. It just wears a kick ass pair of digital cammies.

my billiant idea

I'm getting quicker on my toes, yesterday there were 6 vomit incidents. I got to three of them in time with the bucket, so I only had to clean up three. That makes me 3 for 3 which I'll gladly take. All right so no vomit today. No one is really eating or drinking much but no vomit. That's half the battle and we are go back to the doctors tomorrow so I'll run the no eating and drinking by them.

One a side note I had a brilliant idea at the hospital today. I was there for a long winded pre-op appointment for a procedure I'm having on Monday and as I waited in the lab to have my blood drawn I ran into another mother there with her two little girls. She was lamenting about how difficult it is to drag your kids around that place. And it is, can someone explain to me in a hospital how there are NO handicap bathrooms? No handicap bathrooms mean no bathroom stalls big enough to fit a stroller in, which means, I had better not have to pee while I'm there. Anyways, it came to me, how great would a child care room there be? I know there is the CDC but at that base its a joke. I called once to see how the whole thing works and for what I would need, hourly care, the woman actually said, "Good luck getting a spot, they fill up quick with all the spouse coffees.". That peeves me to no end. I want to drop my kids off while my husband is away because MY HUSBAND IS AWAY, I need some help, I need to get an eye appointment or oh I don't know a pap smear. So how great would a place in the hospital to drop your kids off while your at an appointment be?

We live 45 min to an hour away from the base we have to go to for services. Travel time alone greatly adds to the cost of what a babysitter would be, not to mention during the school year its not so easy to find someone to watch the kids for a couple hours during the day. And really, today was a moot point, a friend had volunteered to watch the kids but with both of them being sick the day before I didn't want to expose her kids too it. So instead I took them with me and exposed everyone there! Oh well, all's fair. I had to keep this appointment. The procedure has to be done and has been scheduled for over a month. Had flyboy been home I would have told him that I needed him to stay with them but again moot point, he's elsewhere, so they came with me. During the entire 2 hours and 45 mins at the hospital. Lots of fun for toddlers but they were pretty good. My OB/GYN wasn't thrilled that I brought them with me (no exam today so it wasn't like I brought them for that) but really, I didn't have much choice. And all I have to say to her is.... bite me, I wont be bringing them with me Monday.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

here it comes again

I do believe I am nearing the end of my rope. Actually I might have already passed it, if not then gimme a day or two. Dash-2 got sick on Easter, his big trick was vomiting in his sleep, repeatedly. That seemed to slow down thankfully. Then last night at 11:44 as I was drifting off to a repeat of Sex In the City I heard that all too familiar cough from Dash-1's room. I got there in time to see him projectile vomit ALL over his room. Great. Cleaned it up, got him changed, tucked him into my bed so I could keep an eye on him, put Dash-2 back down as he had woken up in the excitement and then head back to bed. I kid you not, three minutes later without any grand warning he blew chunks again all over my bed. So, another jammies, new sheets, this time towels on his side of the bed and we try the bed thing again. And on and on it went. I went thru three sets of sheets, he had four jammie changes, two different towels and nine or ten bouts of vomit before he finally settled in and feel asleep at 4 am.

When Dash-2 woke up at 7 am I called the doctor's and got the usual no appointment available. I have to say the lady was very nice and when I told her how sick he had been that night she told me she would get something and call back. So we got an apt. trekked down to the doctors and got to wait and wait. When he was finally looked at the guy all but scratched his head and said it would pass. He told us to see a Gastro. which we happened to have scheduled for later but had we not its not like you can just walk into their office and get an appointment. He consulted with a pediatrician and told me that it's probably just the breaks that he caught another bug and the gastro should have more answers.

Oh and to add to the joy of the day. The MP's were doing the random safety stops at the gate, you know pull over show your registration, insurance, etc and then they run it. We are on our way to the hospital while my little one is in the back seat puking into his little puke bucket, surely they wouldn't pull us over. Oh yes. Yes they did. And the guy took forever to run my info. Really I couldn't get cut a break that once? sigh.

On the way to the gastro after the peds guess what happens next..... oh yes, that's right. Dash-2 projectile vomits ALL over himself, his car seat, and the back half of the car. Sweet. I pulled over and cleaned him up in the parking lot of a tractor store and got quite a few nasty looks. As if I planned my day this way folks.

I wont bore you with the details from the gastro, he's puzzled by it all. Dash-1 has some new meds to help his stomach. He seems a big confused as to why the peds aren't looking into the coughing and his congestion, I tried to explain the black hole that is military medicine but really, you have to experience it to get it. (disclaimer, not all military medicine is full of incompetence, just the overwhelming majority of it)

Like I said, I'm at my wits end. I have been calling flyboy and snapping at him because well, I don't know what else to do right now. I am frustrated that illness is just lingering in this house for going on four weeks and that I'm the lucky SOB who's home to deal with it. I just wish that someone else was here to help clean up vomit at 3 am. Times like these that military life seems like a giant uphill battle that, quite frankly, sucks.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Do you do dishes AND answer your phone?

Occasionally, while standing in the checkout line at target or the commissary, I will give into my desires. I will by myself a crap magazine to take home and enjoy. I'm not talking about the weird rags that go on about half human half bat creatures but the Life and Style or In Touch. You know the important ones! Flyboy hates these magazines, this in his opinion falls into the "contributing to the downfall of civilization" category like watching Moment of Truth and its not like I really care what Hollywood is up too. But these magazines are just oh so wonderful. Full of nothing but fluff and trivial crap and really everyone can use some of that in their day every now and again.

So the other day I picked up one of the magazines and read the funniest story. I think the reader was supposed to read the article and then say "wow Tom and Katie (Cruise) really are down to Earth despite having more money then the GNP of several small countries combine." The article was about Tomkat and how they just bought a new mansion (umm speaking of a small country that would be more fitting then mansion), how they care for their kids or something like that, and how normal Katie really is.

As a disclaimer I have no ill will against them. I mean you could get into the whole debate about how actors and actresses are paid obscene amounts of money to do crappy movies but hey they have money good for them. But don't try to make it seem like they are really living life like the rest of us. Unless any of you out there are living in a ginormous mansion that has two guest houses and a six car garage. If so I stand corrected Tomkat are just like middle America.

Any who the line was "She doesn't do things like laundry or wash dishes but she does draw her own bath and pick up the phone when it rings." Wow. She answers her own phone. That is down to earth. Earth shattering would be if she actually recorded her own answering machine message and knows how to check it. And drawing her own bath? That by the way eludes to the fact that she has time for a bath. Lets be honest even at night if flyboy is flying and I get in a bath thats when someone falls out of bed or needs something.

Like I said, good for them for being able to live the high life. I just read that line and instantly thought, I have to blog this, I must share this with others, surely this is not just ludicrous to me. I tried to share it with flyboy, I emailed a little rant to him and his response was that I bought it so I am feeding into it, I have only myself to blame and we are not hiring someone to answer our phone just to outdo them. Damn I hate it when he's right.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Manic Monday

Today's Manic Monday is dedicated to the mighty EGG. Very fitting since Easter was yesterday.

I always figured an EGG was an EGG. All the same right? No. Thanks to a wonderful neighbor of ours I now know the true beauty that is a farm fresh EGG straight from a chickens butt. Farm fresh EGGS rock! They are head and shoulder above the store ones.

Last May EGGS took on a new meaning. After many reactions to some different foods Dash-1 was finally sent to an allergist for testing. The results among with some other things a severe reaction to peanuts and what else.... EGG. Should he accidentally ingest some he could go into shock and then I'd have to whip out the epi-pens that for 11mths thankfully haven't been used. Oh the power of a little EGG.

We don't think it has anything to do with dressing him up like a chicken for his first Halloween....

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all!

Hope everyone is able to enjoy the day with family and friends! And those who can't be with us, may they be in our hearts.

We miss you flyboy, we'll see you soonish and we might even save you an easter egg or two!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Yeah I'm a big ol' dork. Whats it to you.

I'm a big dork. I'm the first to admit it. I drive my poor husband crazy. One of my dorky habits in his opinion, is my small obsession with patriotic things. This isn't to say that supporting the troops and being proud of your country makes you a dork, its that I get excited by a new find. I saw red, white, and blue blocks that spelled out HOME once and I thought I was going to run over the little old lady blocking the aisle. Our house is tastefully done but it does drip of Americana, thankfully its an old farm house so it all blends in.

Well. Be still my heart. I found something today in Good Housekeeping. Hold on to your hats folks.
There it is. In all its glory. Just think of what you could do with that. The possibilities are numerous. I do believe I'm going to order one and I can't wait to see flyboy's reaction. Just a guess its going to involve eye rolling, a comparison to his mother, and then probably a brief discussion of why I needed a new pan when I have a whole cabinet of ones I don't use.

In case anyone out there in my posse also thinks this is the cats meow you can find the pan here. And just to clarify I am not the crazy person at the stop light in the car covered in bumper stickers, out of respect for my very introverted husband I try to keep my obsessions tastefully done.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Five years

Its been five years of OIF, March 19 marked the fifth anniversary of combat actions in Iraq. For me its hard to believe its been that long. Flyboy was in country weeks leading up to the war and was actually one of the first planes over the berm into their air space. I remember the fear and anticipation that I was going thru here at home, we were just married and now my love was in a war zone. The war was everywhere, it seemed like I couldn't escape it. The news was 24/7, every morning the front page of the paper was a headline about it, yellow ribbons were on trees, magnets on cars, American flags were on porches, in a way it was comforting.

I don't see many yellow ribbons on trees anymore. I see some on cars, most are faded or support Prostate Cancer or March of Dimes (all admirable causes). It's few and far between up here to see the war on the front page, if it is its for a local hero who paid with the ultimate sacrifice. It seems, in my humble opinion, that for many the war is on the back burner. Its hard for me to understand that but I'll be the first to admit that, myself personally, having a Marine for a husband, I don't have that perspective. Perhaps in a different situation the economy would be in my top slot over the war. I understand that many feel this war was unnecessary or that the administration had ulterior motives or lied to go in. I don't nor have I ever believed any of that and I am not trying to start political debate. Just wondering where the attention span has gone.

Five years, a couple of deployments, two kids, half a decade of marriage, we are still here. Thank God. Thank God that this war hasn't taken the thing most precious to our family. I have to admit in a way maybe I am like most Americans, I thought that it hadn't left much mark on us. Flyboy is still flyboy, we've made a nice home, a lovely family. But it has. Flyboy has seen and done things that I cant comprehend, he's had life experiences that I will never understand. I learned things about myself and I think we have learned things about us. That sounds so cryptic but as I sit to write this I feel that out of respect to flyboy I should keep that kinda stuff to just us.

So much has been accomplished and there is obviously so much further to go. I can only hope that the job is done thru to the end as it should be. I'm hardly a military strategist and despite my so very useful political science degree, middle east politics is not exactly my forte so I'm not going to offer up any suggestions.

I think its also important to think about those who have had their lives forever changed in the past five years. Those who have paid with the ultimate sacrifice, those who have had their lives forever altered in other ways. God bless them. It seems like I should say more to that but I don't know what too say.

This is very embarrassing

Yet I'm sharing it so I'm willing to at least laugh at myself. Today Dash-1 got on the scale, I was standing behind him washing my hands taking this all in. He looked down at the numbers (its the old fashioned kind so he couldn't read it) then he looked put his hand on his forehead and shook his head and muttered, and this is the embarrassing part... "I don't get it, my pants still fit."

I should either lay off the easter candy or stop weighing myself when the boy might hear me talking to the scale!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Monday, March 17, 2008

This is definately going to get me Mommy of the Year

Ever feel like when your sick, or the kids are sick its a catch 22? Do you go to the doctor's only to be dismissed, told that they are indeed sick, let it run its course, and hope they don't pick up ten new germs while in the hospital (or clinic). Or do you just wait it out at home and then it bites you in the ass and the doctor wonders why you didn't come in sooner. This basically was what happened to me with Dash-1.

I was raised in a home where you didn't go to the doctors unless there were copious amounts of blood, a bone sticking thru skin, or a very high fever that lasted a few days. I'm serious, my mother once took me to the doctor to find out I was getting over pneumonia. It's not negligence, its the tough it out policy my mother holds near and dear.

When Dash-1 started puking and other assorted fun things last week I figured nothing too out of the ordinary, little stomach bug, nasty but not the end of the world. It just wouldn't go away, he would rebound a little and then a few hours later be much worse. I was very much out of my league on this one. When he went to vomit and couldn't take his head out of the bowl I realized that something was very wrong. I took him up to the nearest military hospital to their ER to have him looked at. I figured they would do the usual drive by diagnosis, a little fluids and an hour or so later we would walk out. Not so. He needed fluids, lots of fluids. He was severely dehydrated, to the point where he was listless to least and couldn't even produce tears. Yes in case you are wondering I do feel like a crappy mom for letting this happen, but to my defense, nothing would stay down. If it passed his lips it came back up.

Anyways, the secondary problem seemed to be that his little body could regulate his blood sugars at that point. It was just put thru the ringer. Quite the flurry of activity around him when they figured that one out. Its just terrifying to see your little one laying there pasty white and out of it. They realized that they weren't going to rebounded him in a few hours and we had a lovely escort via ambulance to Walter Reed. That was quite the experience. Army medicine at its finest and thetas all I'll say about that one.

My little one is doing much better. He came home yesterday evening and is back to running around like a crazy person. He's lost quite a bit of weight and is still a little out of sorts but its just nice to have him healthy again. I will say that being there and seeing what others are facing, whether it be the 20 year old double amputee that was in front of me in the chow hall or the little boy in the room next door who had been there for weeks, makes me immensely grateful that while we've had some bumps in the road life is still very good.

Friday, March 14, 2008

The yuckies just wont go away

There is something very yucky going around this winter. I was hoping the yuckies had left but alas, they reared their ugly head again last night. I was hoping it was perhaps a fluke and maybe Dash-1 reflux was acting up, but he started to vomit last night and is still going. I was fine yesterday but today, not so much. I've been hugging the porcelain bowl a bit more then I like. Hopefully tomorrow will hold a vomit less day for us.

So alas no witty post from me. Maybe tomorrow, I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

With strength and dignity

The beauty of the blogs is that you are able to peak into peoples lives. They allow you a small window to view what is facing them and sometimes I can relate, sometimes I cant. I have stumbled upon blogs of other military wives, other mommies, other 20 somethings, almost all entertain me. I read some blogs of military widows and I am touched by their stories and pain. I know what its like to send my love to war, I couldn't imagine what its like to never see him come home. How to move on with life when you dont have your love next to you, the person you thought you were to grow old with.

But the blog that has moved me to my core is written by someone who has not one thing to do with the military. She is a mother. Her baby boy Joshua was born with a neural tube defect, it is inoperable and while he is a true miracle in how long he has lived, he is not doing well. She writes with amazing strength and dignity, not with anger. I don't know how she does it.

Tonight I hugged my babies tighter, I lingered in the doorway as I watched them sleep a bit longer then usual, and I prayed for Joshua and his family as I hope all you will. Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.

The moment of truth

Wow. I caught this show a week or two ago. I don't know what to say, well I suppose I do or I wouldn't be typing about it. It was mildly entertaining, I mean you had people up there squirming around answering some very personal questions. Entertaining as it might be, I didn't watch for too long. I almost felt dirty watching it, that and flyboy was home, so every time he would walk past the living room he would mutter something about me participating in the downfall of a moral civilization.

I keep wondering at what price would someone sell themselves like that. The whole gist of the show is that for questions you answer truthfully you win money, I think the ultimate pot is 500k. The higher up you go, the questions get tougher. Tougher isn't so much the word, sleazy may fit better. Oh and to add to the fun, on top of the audience you have your own little audience, your husband, girlfriend, parents, siblings, whatever is fitting for you. One contestant was asked if she regretted marrying her husband... answer yes. Had she cheated on her husband (they were newlyweds)... answer yes. Did she wish she had married her ex boyfriend and would she leave her husband for him if he would have her back (oh and to make it better, the ex boyfriend makes a guest appearance to ask this) answer... yes. Awkward moment.

You shouldn't have these sort of issues in your marriage period but I would certainly think that going on a game show and exposing all this dirty laundry really isn't going to help. But then again I'm old fashioned like that. Everyone has a past I suppose. Mine would be horribly boring compared to some of these folks but Fox is out for ratings. And like flyboy loves to point out, it is working since I was watching. But again, why would people be ok with making such spectacle out of themselves like that. I guess what bothers me doesn't bother them. After all it does take all sorts to make the world go round. Of course what does that say about the world?

I get that money is a big driving force for some people. Heck I couldn't even imagine how 100k let alone, 500k would change our lives. But at what cost?! How is it that people crave the money so bad that they are willing to tear apart their families for it. In the episode I was watching there was a lady in which her questions were pertaining to her parents and mother. Talk about awkward. One of her questions were "Are you embarrassed to be a Jew?" Her family all but stopped breathing.

Really is it worth it? Doesn't seem so to me. Where has good, decent common sense run off to? I mean I know money is a driving force in life, like it or not, but come on folks. Have a little decency. Tell your husband you slept with another guy and wished you had married your ex for free in the privacy of your own home.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

I'm here really....

I've been slacking in the post department lately, with good reason. Last week flyboy was home and on his second week of some nasty illness, the boys had it but it seemed to get better pretty quick with them. I got it and nothing would kick it. So after a painfully long drawn out dr. visit with the whole family, several medications later, its almost gone. Flyboy was well enough that he's off.... somewhere... doing something for the next few weeks. I can almost smell and taste again and my head no longer feels like its going to explode. We came down to visit my folks for Dash-1 appointment at Walter Reed and to spend Easter with them since Flyboy is away. Well wouldn't you know, it was starting to look up.

And then. It hit. The flu.

Poor Dash-1 is vomiting and has the runs. He's just not feeling well at all, he cant keep down any food, Tylenol, juice, just Popsicles. Right now I'm quickly typing this as Dash-2 (who hopefully is just still working on the remnants of his cold not the beginnings of this things) naps and while Dash-1 lays on the couch. While he is sick is the only time he will really ever lay still. Its so odd and unusual. I'm hoping that today will be the turning point and that I dont need to go get him looked at.

I'm not on a sabbatical anywhere... just cleaning up vomit. Speaking of which....

Monday, March 10, 2008

Manic Monday

I'm trying out my first Manic Monday and here goes.... this weeks theme is CAN.

The first thing I thought about was a sweet CAN of coca cola. Otherwise known in this house as nectar of the gods.
After my brain got back on track from that little blip I thought about the word a little more. CAN. CAN. I have a little boy who is going thru the "I CAN do it" phase. Its admirable really. He wants to conquer every mountain on his own. Except pulling up his pants, but that's neither here nor there right now.

My little ones remind me of the Little Engine That Could. So in honor of them here's that very determined little engine that reminds us all that we CAN!



I also always love a good quote. I came upon this one once and I liked it right away. It's very fitting for so much in life. My parting words come courtesy of Henry Ford.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I'm on a roll...

Despite having a nasty cold and two little ones with nasty colds and pink eye I have gotten a lot done around here. Dinner is cooking in the slow cooker. I've already vacuumed the upstairs and the down stairs and scrubbed the vacuum out. Yes, apparently you are supposed to clean it every once in a while. We've had it for three years. I never said I was June Cleaver.

I also have gotten three loads of laundry done, how this is I don't know. I did six loads on Tuesday. Flyboy must wear four shirts a day just to spite our washer. Anyways the point of this ramble.... I washed a load of flight suits. If you think checking the pockets in your jeans is a bitch when you do the wash DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ZIPPERS AND POCKETS A FLIGHT SUIT HAS??

a lot. and I'll just leave it at that.

Oh I hope I didn't miss one....

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

mom jeans are right around the corner

High school was 4 years, I graduated college in 3 1/2 years, so far I've been married a little over 5 years, that makes me a military spouse for the same length of time, I've been a mom for 3 years. When I look at it that way I realize that I've been a mom for less time then it has taken me to do other things, so why since being a mom do I feel like I've lost some of myself?

I love being a mom, I love getting to see the ups and downs in their little lives, any and all new experiences they have. First smiles, first kisses, first dada, first clumsy steps, first bumps, first bloody lip, singing the alphabet together, the day is filled with shared love. But sometimes I find myself forgetting who I am. I wonder if this isn't a compounded problem because so often flyboy is gone and parenting falls on me 24/7. There isn't anyone up here to give me a break or help out. I am lucky to live about 6 hour drive from my folks and I do love to go home and visit, but going home every time he's away isn't really possible or practical. That and I would probably shot myself if I spent that much time down there!

I know that I am part of the problem. I have a hard time shedding my mommy skin. Its not even so much the whole "I don't want to be away from the kids for a minute something might happen" it really is more that I don't do it very often that it just isn't normal for me. I don't know how to step away. I'm used to doing it all on my own that I don't know what to do for me anymore.

When I would go into target pre-kids I would usually go in and wonder thru the clothes first and then the makeup stuff and maybe over to books. Now I head straight to the baby section, followed by the toddler boys section, then to the toddler food section and perhaps the matchbox car aisle. If I'm in the book section its usually coloring books.

I'm not sure what to do about this or how this happened. Is this some sort of stay at home mommy curse? Am I destined to end up wearing mom jeans?

I've often wondered if mom's who work outside the home are a little better at maintaining a life. They still have a hold on their pre-children lives, they still have a rope to the outside world in a way. I have a friend whom I worked with while I was pregnant who was pregnant at the same time. She continued to work after she had her daughter and would even take her daughter to the sitter so she could do shopping alone (we are talking target/walmart shopping, not shopping at Saks). I talked to her over the summer (she was a teacher and since she was off for summer break we were going to try to get the kids together) she informed me that her daughter would still be at the sitters m, w, and fri so that she could do some acting at the local theater. I know that different strokes for different folks that just seemed... well ... odd to me. Although since she seems more together then me maybe she's the one on the right track!

I know longer know where this is headed. I just wonder what I should be doing differently. If I should be doing something differently. I really need to find a babysitter up here, that might help out some. But did you know the going rate is like 10 bucks an hour? That seems high, even for some sanity! I think about that and then I think, I'm a mom, suck it up, adapt and overcome, this is my job for the next 18 years. My friends occasionally offer to take the boys for me. But one, damn that pesky milspouse ego, "I don't need help I can do anything!", and the time that I was so fried I actually took a friend up on the offer, she forgot and scheduled a play date on that day and then tried to back peddle. I'm starting to think that when some folks offer you help its really like someone offering you their last cookie, fairly confident your going to say no so they don't have anything to worry about.

I wonder how many other moms feel like this. I sometimes look at the other moms at the park and they seem so much more together. Perhaps I'm just the frazzled sort or something. Perhaps I'm worrying for nothing and sanity is just highly overrated.


I'm curious, do you other moms out there ever feel like this? What do you do to get time just for you, esp. with a husband in the military and in and out of family life?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Check it out!

Mrs. SSgt at Married to the Military had this up that she found at another site. It's a word cloud that looks thru your blog and picks up the frequently used words. It's nifty to say the least. And it has provided me with some clarity. I obviously talk about toilets and dishwashers to much since they made the list!



Hop over here to try it out on your blog and see what your words of wisdom are.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Caution post below contains material that makes no sense

It seems that at least once every few months I see a similar ridiculous sight. Yesterday was one of those days. Picture this, a giant Hummer, (I stress the giant part, this isn't the soccer mom Hummer , this is the tricked out big boy one) with of all things slapped right on the back a big ol sticker that says.... are you ready for this...

Hey we all have our political views, obviously these don't really represent mine. I hardly think this this war was fought for oil. I tend to think it had more to do with the whole jihad thing, but I acknowledge that people have opposing views. Really I'm open like that, but perhaps that gal would like to reexamine the type of car that she slapped these stickers on the back of. If she really wants to save the earth and cut down America's dependency on oil then maybe she should oh I don't know, drive a car that's gas efficiency isn't gas station to gas station. Just my humble opinion.